Reviews from

All is not as it seems

Assassins are resourceful. So are those that seek them out.

7 total reviews 
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Great story, reminiscent of some TV shows even.

A couple of concerns:

Para 2, 4th sentence: (home town) should be (hometown) one word
Para 3, 2nd sentence: (mid way) should be (mid-way) hyphen
Para 7, 3rd sentence: Add space between (door.) and ("Room) spacing
Para 9, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (exposed) punctuation
Para 10, 2nd sentence: Add comma after (him) punctuation

Free to run today, but for how long. The assassin's life is never slow.

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Gary, thanks for taking the time to read my story. Glad you enjoyed it and also thanks for your helpful punctuation tips.Like your little line at the bottom of your message. I am intending to write a further story following on from this one. There is so much more.
    Have a great day.
    Regards
    Barry
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Excellent
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Wow. There is a lot of things going on for something as short as a five-hundred-word story. So many towns. I would have liked to see the primary target go down. Who needs a drug dealer?

 Comment Written 10-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Tom, thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. Glad you enjoyed it and to give you a heads up the drug dealer did go down. Another story on the way. Just needs me to complete it. Have a good day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from Wendy G
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Excellent story about an assassination attempt gone wrong. In the fourth last stanza, a space each side of the dash would make the meaning clearer. Or even a full stop might be better. Otherwise, I found it an engaging and realistic story, and I see it as having potential for a follow-up story, as well as a background story. Well done. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy

 Comment Written 09-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Wendy,
    Thanks for taking the time to review my Assassin entry . Thanks for your suggestion. A second placing was the result. I will do another follow up , revealing more. I feel a lot of material is generating in my mind. Keep well and keep writing.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold
Comment from prettybluebirds
Excellent
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You have done an excellent job with the writing prompt. This is most definitely a thriller. Your descriptions are vivid and take the reader into the story. I wish you worlds of luck in the contest.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story.Glad you enjoyed it . I intend to do a follow up so lets see what happens.
    Take care and have a good day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold
Comment from snodlander
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

Well written. Given the 500 word limit this was a fine vignette which could be expanded into something bigger. One slight spag - but apparently he had been effective Why else the contract? - missing full stop


 Comment Written 08-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Thanks for taking the time to read and enjoy my story. Yes, and I do intend to expand it with a follow up. So much material in my brain. Thanks for the tip on the punctuation. Take care and have a great day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold
Comment from RodG
Excellent
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A very good assassin story which has all the elements of this genre--an accomplished hero who works alone, a setting where we see the victim and understand the motive behind the hit, and lots of action. In your case the ending is a surprise but is quite believable. I also like your polished style. Rod

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Rod,
    Thanks for taking the time to read and review my story. Also congratulations on winning the contest. I have now read your entry and I liked it. An upfront, knock them down style which is totally effective for this sort of topic. Well done. I am determined to write a follow up on mine. Will there be more from you.?Thanks again and take care.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold
reply by RodG on 11-Aug-2022
    Hi Barry. Many thanks for your congrats and praise of my story. I am looking forward to your follow-up. I have posted several La Tigre stories. If you have the patience, look through my Portfolio for HIT ME, the very first one. Rod
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Rod,
    I will certainly look up Hit me. All the best.
    Barry Penfold.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
Excellent
Not yet exceptional. When the exceptional rating is reached this is highlighted

This piece flows well. The images are clear. The story stays on point. The language fits the subject. The end is open ended which also fits well.

Thanks for a good read.

 Comment Written 08-Aug-2022

reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
    Thanks for taking time to read and review my story. For your information it ran second which I was happy about. I intend to do a follow up. Take care and have a great day.
    Regards
    Barry Penfold.
reply by dellsworthpoet on 11-Aug-2022
    You are welcome and congrats.