The Lights of Life
You are invited to the...26 total reviews
Comment from bob cullen
Wow, this really is a contemplation worth reading. It says it all. It is wisdom and directive. And if practiced and followed, it will I'm sure bring greater understanding of the stage called life.
I want to read this again. It really is that good.
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
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Wow, this really is a contemplation worth reading. It says it all. It is wisdom and directive. And if practiced and followed, it will I'm sure bring greater understanding of the stage called life.
I want to read this again. It really is that good.
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 11-Aug-2022
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Wow. If you were testing me for a blush test, I failed. Flushed to my toes. Very kind words and appreciative.
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A word of wisdom from me; It's better to be blushed than flushed.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting poem.
The flow is good. The poem stays on point. The metaphors are consistent. The feeling conversational.
Suggestions:
I think the first stanza would have more punch if the I came in the first line. As in "I see the sunrise every day, like the son of God illuminates my heart."
In the second verse I feel again it would be more powerful starting with I such as: "I find in each comfort and calm." Then new sentence: "Similar to the glassy sea at dawn, its serenity penetrates body and soul."
I feel the power in all of the poem would be enhanced by first person being front and forward. Also simple declarative sentences without dependent or independent phrases help the drive in writing.
Overall a good job. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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An interesting poem.
The flow is good. The poem stays on point. The metaphors are consistent. The feeling conversational.
Suggestions:
I think the first stanza would have more punch if the I came in the first line. As in "I see the sunrise every day, like the son of God illuminates my heart."
In the second verse I feel again it would be more powerful starting with I such as: "I find in each comfort and calm." Then new sentence: "Similar to the glassy sea at dawn, its serenity penetrates body and soul."
I feel the power in all of the poem would be enhanced by first person being front and forward. Also simple declarative sentences without dependent or independent phrases help the drive in writing.
Overall a good job. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I made a change on stanza one. Illuminates was one too many syllables for me and I agree it could have been written in the first person throughout. I noted in the authors' comments your help.
Thank you.
Comment from Richard Montfort Cary
Tom,
This is a lovely love-filled salute to your religious convictions and your parallel appreciation of the natural world. Respectful and compassionate. Right there with you! Thanks for the Post!
Richard
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Tom,
This is a lovely love-filled salute to your religious convictions and your parallel appreciation of the natural world. Respectful and compassionate. Right there with you! Thanks for the Post!
Richard
Comment Written 09-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you for the comments. Two new thoughts thought or heard today have given me an inkling to parse the followings into works of art. What say ye? C.I.A. (Intelligence) is a contradictory term and Pat Benatar sand a song entitled Promises in the Dark... to which I think I'll add "are soon forgotten, once the fireworks stop." I figured you would key in on the second before the first. Right?
Comment from Michele Harber
As a rhyming poet, I actually know very little about the structure of non-rhyming or free-form poetry, so I don't feel qualified to discuss the form of your poem, but I can confidently discuss the content.
You set up from the beginning, and maintained throughout, the comparison between the Son of God, and the sun in the sky, each providing light, comfort and sustenance.
I also appreciated the comparison of how they "they evict gloom
with hope," one by forgiving out sins, the other by bringing about each new day.
You make excellent use of your sand on the beach metaphors, from "grains of sand representing the days of our lives" to "the errors made
dissolve as footprints on the shore," and even "dig your toes in righteousness, letting improprieties wash to sea."
The depth of your faith, which shines through in each of your words, is refreshing and uplifting. Good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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As a rhyming poet, I actually know very little about the structure of non-rhyming or free-form poetry, so I don't feel qualified to discuss the form of your poem, but I can confidently discuss the content.
You set up from the beginning, and maintained throughout, the comparison between the Son of God, and the sun in the sky, each providing light, comfort and sustenance.
I also appreciated the comparison of how they "they evict gloom
with hope," one by forgiving out sins, the other by bringing about each new day.
You make excellent use of your sand on the beach metaphors, from "grains of sand representing the days of our lives" to "the errors made
dissolve as footprints on the shore," and even "dig your toes in righteousness, letting improprieties wash to sea."
The depth of your faith, which shines through in each of your words, is refreshing and uplifting. Good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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It's official, Michele. I accomplished my goal. People dismiss there being a power yet every breath of air, every tree thaat transfer carbon Di to Oxygen. Every molecule of moisture that is evaporated and affix to microscopic nuclei, (I was a weather guesser once upon a time) says otherwise. Thanks.
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You're welcome, Tom. Others can believe as they will but, like you, I have faith.
Comment from John Ciarmello
So much meaning and emotion in this poem, Tom. Your poetic style is consistent in much of what you write. I've always been a fan. The artwork here is gorgeous. I wish I were there.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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So much meaning and emotion in this poem, Tom. Your poetic style is consistent in much of what you write. I've always been a fan. The artwork here is gorgeous. I wish I were there.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Thanks John. Nice to hear from you once again.
Comment from strandregs
Beautiful picture Tom,, of faith and the gifts and treasures it bestows on the bearer.
I have always wished I could share beliefs in higher powers.
Love the into the sea metaphors.:-))Z.
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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Beautiful picture Tom,, of faith and the gifts and treasures it bestows on the bearer.
I have always wished I could share beliefs in higher powers.
Love the into the sea metaphors.:-))Z.
Comment Written 08-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 08-Aug-2022
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You can. Simply look around. Most all we see here on earth did not advance from a gooey swamp... and then there is the galaxy that extends forever without an end. Anyhow, that's how I see it.
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a fabulous poem of your faith in God. I like the way it starts with the rising sun, and the feeling that immediately rises with it, your faith. Everyone sins, we can't always help ourselves, but we know God understands that His children do this, and like all parents, He will forgive us. I enjoyed reading your poem, Tom, and wish you good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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What a fabulous poem of your faith in God. I like the way it starts with the rising sun, and the feeling that immediately rises with it, your faith. Everyone sins, we can't always help ourselves, but we know God understands that His children do this, and like all parents, He will forgive us. I enjoyed reading your poem, Tom, and wish you good luck in the contest. :)) Sandra
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Let me not be reticent to speak His name, and the take note of the glories that surround me. Every blade of grass, and leaf of trees, the ground in which they grow, whose lives spring from the dew that drops and raindrops that fall. Let the rivers continually flow day and night and feed every oceanic wave. Stop, Tom. You wax poetic in your testimony this morning, which some may not want to hear. :-)
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This verse is written with honesty, love, and faith.
I applaud your willingness to wield your pen so freely, disclosing intimate feelings.
The phraseology and word painting are excellent!
How lucky you are to see this in the morning.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This verse is written with honesty, love, and faith.
I applaud your willingness to wield your pen so freely, disclosing intimate feelings.
The phraseology and word painting are excellent!
How lucky you are to see this in the morning.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Let me not be reticent to speak His name, and the take note of the glories that surround me. Every blade of grass, and leaf of trees, the ground in which they grow, whose lives spring from the dew that drops and raindrops that fall. Let the rivers continually flow day and night and feed every oceanic wave.
Comment from Paul McFarland
A very strong message, Tom. A clever comparison of Christ and the rising morning sun. I thought the last three stanzas were quite outstanding.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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A very strong message, Tom. A clever comparison of Christ and the rising morning sun. I thought the last three stanzas were quite outstanding.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Appreciate your read and comments. Compliments are the cornerstone of continued writings.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello Tom, your poem is beautifully penned in soft and soulful imagery.
I especially liked:
His invitation is simple and clear.
Come. Follow me.
In doing so, the errors made
dissolve as footprints on the shore.
(Good imagery)
Great photo. Tom, you captured the essence of gifts bestowed upon us by God. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Hello Tom, your poem is beautifully penned in soft and soulful imagery.
I especially liked:
His invitation is simple and clear.
Come. Follow me.
In doing so, the errors made
dissolve as footprints on the shore.
(Good imagery)
Great photo. Tom, you captured the essence of gifts bestowed upon us by God. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Thanks, LB. I appreciate your signing in to review and comment.
