My Water Addicted Grandkids
A slight exaggeration, but he did love his water35 total reviews
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
This is such a delightful poem. You make pictures of your grandson so clear, they are easy to see, and the love you have for him is evident in every line. Your meter is off in several places. I'll share with you what a poet in another group shared with me. One way is to accent the second syllable every time and then the second one after the accented one throughout, keeping the same number of syllables in matching end-rhyme lines. Sometime you have to substitute word or change words around to make it work.(But that's definitely not the only way to write a poem!) Most of the time I go for 8,6,8,6. Although you have couplets in this one, it would work for a four-line poem. You're one of my favorites at FanStory, and I love your writing and you! Verna (I hope voters in the contest see the beauty in this that I see.)
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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This is such a delightful poem. You make pictures of your grandson so clear, they are easy to see, and the love you have for him is evident in every line. Your meter is off in several places. I'll share with you what a poet in another group shared with me. One way is to accent the second syllable every time and then the second one after the accented one throughout, keeping the same number of syllables in matching end-rhyme lines. Sometime you have to substitute word or change words around to make it work.(But that's definitely not the only way to write a poem!) Most of the time I go for 8,6,8,6. Although you have couplets in this one, it would work for a four-line poem. You're one of my favorites at FanStory, and I love your writing and you! Verna (I hope voters in the contest see the beauty in this that I see.)
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Oh Verna, you are so sweet and I always welcome your advice and feedback. Actually that contest has been voted and I did win it. I always try to use a comma to help get the rhythm of the poems.. But as my friend and favorite English teacher, I know you are right. Lol, I think those that know me the best, have just learned to follow my strange style. But I do treasure your advice! Actually I should try to be more consistent.
Thank you so much my lovely friend for such lovely comments, as they mean as much to me as you do. I always will remember that your daughter and I have the same name and spelling of it. And you gave me one of the nicest compliments once when you said that I may be as sweet as her. We always remember kindness that brings a tear, as yours always does. Love you too my dear friend!
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Congratulations, my friend. I do see that others appreciate the beauty to be found in your creativity!
Comment from LJbutterfly
Congratulations on winning the contest. This poem was creatively crafted, as is all your poetry, and told a great story that is cute and humorous. Glad to know your grandson's current water addition no longer requires you to clean up after him.
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Congratulations on winning the contest. This poem was creatively crafted, as is all your poetry, and told a great story that is cute and humorous. Glad to know your grandson's current water addition no longer requires you to clean up after him.
Comment Written 07-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 07-Aug-2022
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Thank you so much for your lovely review of my poem. He really was a little dickens and I do miss that age, but couldn't do it anymore. It just amazes me that it all feels like yesterday. Like so many other times in our life that we blinked and they were gone. Thanks so very much my dear friend for the kind comments, as I appreciate it so very much!
Comment from Fleedleflump
Lol, this was a lovely story in poem form and I like the carefree tone, letting us know this is about fun and joy, not tedious discussions about exactly reality. I thought is was great :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Lol, this was a lovely story in poem form and I like the carefree tone, letting us know this is about fun and joy, not tedious discussions about exactly reality. I thought is was great :-)
Mike
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Mike, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from royowen
Don't you just love these precious children? And it gives opportunity to write about them, like this stellar production you've written in articulate, smooth, rhyming couplets, a super job you made of this, well done, great job, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Don't you just love these precious children? And it gives opportunity to write about them, like this stellar production you've written in articulate, smooth, rhyming couplets, a super job you made of this, well done, great job, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Roy, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
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Aren?t they precious
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. What a cute water bug!! So glad he showed his talent for finding water at such a young age! I'm glad you kept your sense of humor and went to the lake! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Lol. What a cute water bug!! So glad he showed his talent for finding water at such a young age! I'm glad you kept your sense of humor and went to the lake! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Helen, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
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You covered it so well, Debi! Hope you are feeling stronger every day and that you will be able to be active with your grand kids - well, enjoy participating more with those active grandchildren! 💖
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Y'know Helen, I am getting better each day and thankful that I did not have those years from a wheelchair chair, bit now am taking more steps w therapy and so excited! Also I have talked to Jesse a few times and he is receiving my help with much grace. I feel your prayers all around my beautiful friend❣️
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So happy to hear!! Praise the Lord!
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Lol, oops I think I was typing a little too fast in my last reply. I should maybe proofread them more often! 😘
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
Lol, that was such a lot of fun to read, it brought back so many memories of my own. Children have to find a way to entertain themselves, but today it's all done on ipads and computers. Well done, this was a brilliant contest entry. Good luck!! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Lol, that was such a lot of fun to read, it brought back so many memories of my own. Children have to find a way to entertain themselves, but today it's all done on ipads and computers. Well done, this was a brilliant contest entry. Good luck!! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Sandra, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from Terry Broxson
Mrs. Mystery Writer, you have written an excellent poem for this messy contest, good luck. The pictures of the kids are wonderful. Those photos are full of memories and the poem you wrote provides the narrative to fill in the gaps. Terry.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Mrs. Mystery Writer, you have written an excellent poem for this messy contest, good luck. The pictures of the kids are wonderful. Those photos are full of memories and the poem you wrote provides the narrative to fill in the gaps. Terry.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Awe Terry, you are a gem! Thanks so very much for the great review, kind comments and the generous gift of six stars! I truly appreciate it my dear friend!
Comment from jessizero
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem about your water-addicted grandson. Even if it is slightly exaggerated, it is believable. Poor grandma! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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I thoroughly enjoyed reading this poem about your water-addicted grandson. Even if it is slightly exaggerated, it is believable. Poor grandma! Thank you for sharing, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Jessi, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
There is something about water and little boys. They don't want to step into it for a bath or a shower, but boy do they want to make a mess with it. I can personally relate with your tale.
Nicely said.
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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There is something about water and little boys. They don't want to step into it for a bath or a shower, but boy do they want to make a mess with it. I can personally relate with your tale.
Nicely said.
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Gary, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
Comment from Janet Foor
Delightful poem of children at play. Water is supposed to be relaxing - but maybe not for little boys who find ways to make it exciting and fun.
A joy to read.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Delightful poem of children at play. Water is supposed to be relaxing - but maybe not for little boys who find ways to make it exciting and fun.
A joy to read.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 06-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 06-Aug-2022
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Janet, thank you for the very kind review and words. This was many years ago, but when I read the prompt for this one to do a poem about a mess,
I remembered all too well how our little bugger used to get into water all the time. Actually I miss those days but doubt I could keep up now. Lol
Thanks again my dear friend
