The Lighthouse
One dark night, down by the sea...2 total reviews
Comment from RodG
What a delightful tale this is with a surprise ending. Your poem should appeal to all ages with its lilting rhythm and rhymes. Great personification of the lighthouse as it saves the ship and crew. Rod
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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What a delightful tale this is with a surprise ending. Your poem should appeal to all ages with its lilting rhythm and rhymes. Great personification of the lighthouse as it saves the ship and crew. Rod
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Thanks for the review - glad you liked it.
Comment from Frank Malley
"The Lighthouse" has a very good premise that would benefit by being carefully hinted at earlier in the poem. Line 12 would be improved by '...the Captain [then] screams'. "he" is an obvious and ineffective way to fill out the meter. There are other lines that could be refined and made musical as is typical of older poetry telling a shocking or threatening story. Tennyson comes to mind as a master of storytelling in poems.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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"The Lighthouse" has a very good premise that would benefit by being carefully hinted at earlier in the poem. Line 12 would be improved by '...the Captain [then] screams'. "he" is an obvious and ineffective way to fill out the meter. There are other lines that could be refined and made musical as is typical of older poetry telling a shocking or threatening story. Tennyson comes to mind as a master of storytelling in poems.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Cool - thanks for the advice, well noted.
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Good luck in the contest. Frank