The Sparrow
Quite surprised to see...8 total reviews
Comment from Tina Crute
This is so lovely! The rhyme is so simply and naturally sweet that I can imagine walking the path here and listening to sweet bird notes! Well done. You have my vote:)
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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This is so lovely! The rhyme is so simply and naturally sweet that I can imagine walking the path here and listening to sweet bird notes! Well done. You have my vote:)
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Thank you for this thoughtful review and your vote! It means the world to me. :)
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
A true sign of spring. A real song of happiness.
A couple of considerations:
Para 3, 3rd sentence: Remove one space before (My)
Para 5, 1st sentence: Remove one space before (Wondered)
Happy words. As happy as the bird's song.
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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A true sign of spring. A real song of happiness.
A couple of considerations:
Para 3, 3rd sentence: Remove one space before (My)
Para 5, 1st sentence: Remove one space before (Wondered)
Happy words. As happy as the bird's song.
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Thankbyou for this great review and the corrections. I'll look it over, it's always appreciated. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Good entry for the Contest. You grasped the rhyme form nicely but sounded forced in a couple of places.... like....
"Wondered I did, how he came to be here"
Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental pictures.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Contest. You grasped the looping form well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental pictures.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Good entry for the Contest. You grasped the rhyme form nicely but sounded forced in a couple of places.... like....
"Wondered I did, how he came to be here"
Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental pictures.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Contest. You grasped the looping form well. Nice presentation. Your descriptive words flow well expressing clear mental pictures.
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Thank you for this great review, I really appreciate it. :)
Comment from WriterHeather
Oh this is so beautiful. That beautiful little bird provided much needed comfort to a lonely soul before flying south for the winter. The cadence and rhyme are flawless. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Oh this is so beautiful. That beautiful little bird provided much needed comfort to a lonely soul before flying south for the winter. The cadence and rhyme are flawless. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Thank you for this excellent review, it's so appreciated. :)
Comment from Susan Newell
What a fun, pleasant poem. Easy to read and well rhymed with a touch of wistfulness about a sparrow late for migration who saved a special song for you. Very, very nice. Good luck in the contest.
Sue
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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What a fun, pleasant poem. Easy to read and well rhymed with a touch of wistfulness about a sparrow late for migration who saved a special song for you. Very, very nice. Good luck in the contest.
Sue
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Thank you for this thoughtful review, I'm glad you liked it. :)
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You are very welcome.
Comment from Wendy G
That's quite beautiful - a moment when nature gave you uplift and peace, and delightful memories. Your poem flows smoothly, and has very nice unforced rhyme. Well done. Best wishes.
Wendy
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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That's quite beautiful - a moment when nature gave you uplift and peace, and delightful memories. Your poem flows smoothly, and has very nice unforced rhyme. Well done. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Thank you, I appreciate this great review. :)
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This a good rhyming poem. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. The text is large and easy to read. The visual fits perfectly. Making the background a pale green instead of white would be more colorful and coordinate with the visual better. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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This a good rhyming poem. The rhyme scheme is consistent throughout. The text is large and easy to read. The visual fits perfectly. Making the background a pale green instead of white would be more colorful and coordinate with the visual better. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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I'm so glad you liked it. Thanks for reading. :)
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You are welcome.
Comment from TDLRasmar
Very nice poem especially as I have a soft spot for birds. I used to raise canaries and other finches. Now canaries have an exceptional song. There is a song sparrow that sings a simple song, but most sparrows don't sing, they just chirp. Now, Mockingbirds can sing very complicated songs, including a person whistling s simple tune to a wolf whistle. You wrote such a lovely poem about a sparrow, I wonder what you could do with a Mockingbird.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Very nice poem especially as I have a soft spot for birds. I used to raise canaries and other finches. Now canaries have an exceptional song. There is a song sparrow that sings a simple song, but most sparrows don't sing, they just chirp. Now, Mockingbirds can sing very complicated songs, including a person whistling s simple tune to a wolf whistle. You wrote such a lovely poem about a sparrow, I wonder what you could do with a Mockingbird.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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I'll have to try it. I too love birds, starting with my dad having 2 pigeons given to him. They were coo coo and bird bird, and they used to fly onto his shoulder when he called them. Thanks so much for reading my poem. :)
