The Daytrip
short story6 total reviews
Comment from royowen
We don't really have any dangerous animals here, none that would attack you deliberately, so the good thing is it's relatively safe, only bugs may irritate some, beautifully written Alicia, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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We don't really have any dangerous animals here, none that would attack you deliberately, so the good thing is it's relatively safe, only bugs may irritate some, beautifully written Alicia, blessings Roy
Comment Written 28-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Hellow Roy! I have plenty wildlife around me. I'm inbetween 2 mountains, within 1/2 mile and a 3-mile stretch. Coyotes (golden beige resembles german shepard) and racoons are prowling now. There are black bears, scorpions, beetles and plenty birds too. Thank you. God bless :)
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Wow, brave you
Comment from Bill Schott
This flash fiction story, The Daytrip, is a funny account of a guy out to go fishing and getting his dessert cakes eaten by a bear. This is just a bit swiss-cheesy with information presented in unrelated clumps.
Terry's going fishing, Terry's taking a whiz, Terry's "stash" is being ransacked. You a lot here for seventy-five words.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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This flash fiction story, The Daytrip, is a funny account of a guy out to go fishing and getting his dessert cakes eaten by a bear. This is just a bit swiss-cheesy with information presented in unrelated clumps.
Terry's going fishing, Terry's taking a whiz, Terry's "stash" is being ransacked. You a lot here for seventy-five words.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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You're funny. It is is rather flashy. Thank you :)
Comment from lyenochka
Oh-oh! Well, I'm glad the bear went for the Little Debbie's pastries and not Terry himself! Yes, you're right it's always dangerous to go into the wild alone. Cute story with a punchline which works well for flash fiction. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Oh-oh! Well, I'm glad the bear went for the Little Debbie's pastries and not Terry himself! Yes, you're right it's always dangerous to go into the wild alone. Cute story with a punchline which works well for flash fiction. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Hellow Helen. Thank you. God bless... :)
Comment from prettybluebirds
The artwork is most appropriate for the subject of your writing. There is not much to fear in our Michigan woods unless one considers skunks. I see this is a contest entry so I wish you all the luck in the world.
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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The artwork is most appropriate for the subject of your writing. There is not much to fear in our Michigan woods unless one considers skunks. I see this is a contest entry so I wish you all the luck in the world.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 31-Jul-2022
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Skunks, run... Stay safe. Be strong. Thank you :)
Comment from jessizero
I like that you set the story in the present tense. It gives the feeling that we don't know if the man survives the encounter or not. Thanks for sharing your story, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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I like that you set the story in the present tense. It gives the feeling that we don't know if the man survives the encounter or not. Thanks for sharing your story, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Hellow Jessi! I learned flash fiction to be present and fast moving. The rules change. I'm not sure why. You're nice. Thank you :)
Comment from Irish Rain
Yikes!!!
Where there's a cub, there's a mother!
I won't go in the woods around here anymore.
Not that I ever did much anyway, ha ha...
because of bears.
We have a lot of bear in this area.
Nope...I'll stick to the pavement!
Love your story...love those 'Little Debby's' too!
Blessings...
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Yikes!!!
Where there's a cub, there's a mother!
I won't go in the woods around here anymore.
Not that I ever did much anyway, ha ha...
because of bears.
We have a lot of bear in this area.
Nope...I'll stick to the pavement!
Love your story...love those 'Little Debby's' too!
Blessings...
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 02-Aug-2022
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Hello Judy. You're nice. I'm not hiking or playing around in the mountains or parks since the pandemic. There like a mile high here with horses, golfing, country club, trails... There's a big zoo too. I saw a baby sassaquatch; fury with big feet. The police told me it was a cub. Little Debbie has an ice cream collection now. Thank you :)
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Wow...sounds wonderful...especially Little Debbie!!! Have a great week!!