The Fae Nation
Viewing comments for Chapter 28 "Wings of a fairy"Still just a germ of an idea that the moment
2 total reviews
Comment from Jay Squires
I like what you've done here. Your characters are well delineated, one from another. There is a good mix and balance between the comedic (with Peter's inability to keep up with Creteus, for example). I'm sure there will be other examples of Peter's humor. He is a natural since the narrative is from his pov. Creteus is big, strong, a little grumpy ... but definitely loyal to his friends. His description of the fairy wings was both touching, and with its comparison to male testicles, it was a tad unnerving. But everything is well-balanced in this chapter. I like your style you have the gift of story-telling.
A few things I noted as I read along:
"Which is why â?"" [You should clean up the HTML garbage at the end of the quote.]
Imagine if they'd castrated you, with all shit that would do to your head. [ ... with all (THE) shit that (IT) would do to your head.]
Creteus stared at Peter for a moment, then squatted down on his heels, bring his face almost level [... squatted down on his heels, bring(ing) his face almost level ...]
Cretues is a fae trying to unite the various fae species [A misspell of the character's name.]
Thank you for the evening's entertainment.
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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I like what you've done here. Your characters are well delineated, one from another. There is a good mix and balance between the comedic (with Peter's inability to keep up with Creteus, for example). I'm sure there will be other examples of Peter's humor. He is a natural since the narrative is from his pov. Creteus is big, strong, a little grumpy ... but definitely loyal to his friends. His description of the fairy wings was both touching, and with its comparison to male testicles, it was a tad unnerving. But everything is well-balanced in this chapter. I like your style you have the gift of story-telling.
A few things I noted as I read along:
"Which is why â?"" [You should clean up the HTML garbage at the end of the quote.]
Imagine if they'd castrated you, with all shit that would do to your head. [ ... with all (THE) shit that (IT) would do to your head.]
Creteus stared at Peter for a moment, then squatted down on his heels, bring his face almost level [... squatted down on his heels, bring(ing) his face almost level ...]
Cretues is a fae trying to unite the various fae species [A misspell of the character's name.]
Thank you for the evening's entertainment.
Comment Written 31-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 01-Aug-2022
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Thanks for the review and detailed spag. I'm glad it entertained you.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting piece of writing. The pace is good. The dialogue is believable. I've done some research on fairies and it seems in folk lore none of them were sweetness and light. This seems a good set up for conflict.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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An interesting piece of writing. The pace is good. The dialogue is believable. I've done some research on fairies and it seems in folk lore none of them were sweetness and light. This seems a good set up for conflict.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 30-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Thank you. Yes, the Victorians sugar-coated the stories. For instance, a stroke is so called because the victim was thought to have been stroked by a fairy.
Glad you liked it
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I wrote a book called Finding Faeland, a poetic look of fairies more in the Disney format. The story I like best from folk lore is the fairy king breeding corgis to have appropriate height steeds. You are welcome, keep writing.
