When the time comes
Life within death.30 total reviews
Comment from karenina
Not a six left in my wallet, Charity, but man you slice through the facade and refuse to play any role but your own.
I read this as your powerful voice speaking out for the many who are weary. Just so tired of trying and never making the cut. Neglected and rejected at every turn.
Truth is, behind that hopelessness is rage and you give voice to it! How many open their eyes each morning to see it's all futility mixed with pain...
It's a struggle to get up, much less move forward!
You're on a poet's journey-- You're here to shout out the truth--not all pretty and well framed and "socially acceptable."
The grit and hunger and withering doubts also need a voice.
That's you, Charity.
I can see you exploding with passion at a poetry slam with this.
Do it!
Karenina
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Not a six left in my wallet, Charity, but man you slice through the facade and refuse to play any role but your own.
I read this as your powerful voice speaking out for the many who are weary. Just so tired of trying and never making the cut. Neglected and rejected at every turn.
Truth is, behind that hopelessness is rage and you give voice to it! How many open their eyes each morning to see it's all futility mixed with pain...
It's a struggle to get up, much less move forward!
You're on a poet's journey-- You're here to shout out the truth--not all pretty and well framed and "socially acceptable."
The grit and hunger and withering doubts also need a voice.
That's you, Charity.
I can see you exploding with passion at a poetry slam with this.
Do it!
Karenina
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I just performed this at a slam last night. The audience was impacted deeply. So many people needed to hear this poem. I'll share video with you soon after editing is done. Thanks my friend ❤️.
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Great! SO glad you're keeping up with those slams ~ your words flame hot when you perform them! Looking forward to the link when it's ready!
Comment from Lilly Flowers
This is another powerful poem you've written, but the line that really stands out to me is: Counseling is too late to provide
I think that's so true. Some people are beyond accepting help, perhaps it came too late. Sigh. Regards, Lilly
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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This is another powerful poem you've written, but the line that really stands out to me is: Counseling is too late to provide
I think that's so true. Some people are beyond accepting help, perhaps it came too late. Sigh. Regards, Lilly
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I enjoyed reading your poem, it sounds like a rap song. It has that beat. I also enjoyed your unique style and well chosen words.
Good presentation Your writing flows and it's easy to understand.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I enjoyed reading your poem, it sounds like a rap song. It has that beat. I also enjoyed your unique style and well chosen words.
Good presentation Your writing flows and it's easy to understand.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I'm glad you believe my style is unique.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
You are way too young to be thinking like this young lady. The verse sounds like something an old fart like me might lay down, because, in truth, I AM ready. I have had enough and am ready for a rest. You have too much to say, to recite, to do to start getting ready yet.
Nicely stated soliloquy.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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You are way too young to be thinking like this young lady. The verse sounds like something an old fart like me might lay down, because, in truth, I AM ready. I have had enough and am ready for a rest. You have too much to say, to recite, to do to start getting ready yet.
Nicely stated soliloquy.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you my friend.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
We haven't heard from you in a while but I still see you resist the cause to smile. Stop drawing on the negative and be joyous for there is more happiness in the world for you to find. No other planet has what earth has, a paradisical quality that will be made perfect eventually.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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We haven't heard from you in a while but I still see you resist the cause to smile. Stop drawing on the negative and be joyous for there is more happiness in the world for you to find. No other planet has what earth has, a paradisical quality that will be made perfect eventually.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I been posting regularly. I'm glad to hear from you.
Comment from jaded831
Your poem is heartfelt. You bring the reader through an array of emotions. I felt sad, yet happy, tearful, thoughts of my own mortality sprang to mind. All in all very well written. I just hope you are talking fiction, if not God bless you.
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Your poem is heartfelt. You bring the reader through an array of emotions. I felt sad, yet happy, tearful, thoughts of my own mortality sprang to mind. All in all very well written. I just hope you are talking fiction, if not God bless you.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I'm talking truth.
Comment from jp88
Beautiful poem. There are a lot of strong statements in this piece, and I enjoyed reading it. The only downside for me was that I struggled with the flow and rhythm, maybe there is a way for you to tweak the words so the syllables match better? Ignore me though if you think it's fine, this is highly subjective.
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Beautiful poem. There are a lot of strong statements in this piece, and I enjoyed reading it. The only downside for me was that I struggled with the flow and rhythm, maybe there is a way for you to tweak the words so the syllables match better? Ignore me though if you think it's fine, this is highly subjective.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I appreciate your review. I don't believe any changes are needed. It Waleed so well in the poetry slam last night I performed.
Comment from Carlos' girl
I like this unmistakable drive, this beat. Very nice work. The illustration is great. The breakdown of paragraphs makes it highly readable.
Cleaning the skeletons in your closet needs a maid...hilarious.
This should be recited at a reading:)
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I like this unmistakable drive, this beat. Very nice work. The illustration is great. The breakdown of paragraphs makes it highly readable.
Cleaning the skeletons in your closet needs a maid...hilarious.
This should be recited at a reading:)
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you 😆 lol
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You're welcome dear Charity
Comment from royowen
There's one thing I love so much about Jesus, was that anything about true joy is in the service to others which brings the blessing of taking the sight off our own problems and sets it on the problems of others. That's the secret of true joy, good hearing from you Charity, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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There's one thing I love so much about Jesus, was that anything about true joy is in the service to others which brings the blessing of taking the sight off our own problems and sets it on the problems of others. That's the secret of true joy, good hearing from you Charity, blessings Roy
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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Thank you for your feedback my friend.
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Welcome
Comment from Fleedleflump
What I like about your work is that you show both the vulnerable ice of doubt and the resentful fire of determination. Life can be shit, and perhaps there's something better to look forward to, if we take the risk of rolling the dice early. Or maybe life is all there is, and making it better is our only option. Perhaps pain is a construct, and things cause us pain only because we've decided they're supposed to. Of course, poetry is also more than a steam vent - it can also be a legacy, a literate documentation that we were here and merited some attention.
As always, you took me on a thought journey, and for that I thank you.
Mike
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reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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What I like about your work is that you show both the vulnerable ice of doubt and the resentful fire of determination. Life can be shit, and perhaps there's something better to look forward to, if we take the risk of rolling the dice early. Or maybe life is all there is, and making it better is our only option. Perhaps pain is a construct, and things cause us pain only because we've decided they're supposed to. Of course, poetry is also more than a steam vent - it can also be a legacy, a literate documentation that we were here and merited some attention.
As always, you took me on a thought journey, and for that I thank you.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 21-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Aug-2022
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I'm glad you always enjoy my work. It means alot.
