The Chronicals Of Bethica: The Rise
Viewing comments for Chapter 30 "The Chronicles of Bethica"Abram must defeat a deadly humanoid race of beings
10 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
Wow, this is an amazingly exciting chapter, amahra! I envy you your wonderful imagination for writing these fantasies. You had me holding my breath many times, then letting out a sigh of relief, only to be left with yet another danger coming up. Well done.
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Wow, this is an amazingly exciting chapter, amahra! I envy you your wonderful imagination for writing these fantasies. You had me holding my breath many times, then letting out a sigh of relief, only to be left with yet another danger coming up. Well done.
Comment Written 27-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jul-2022
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Ah, thank you, Judy. You've made my day. I'm so glad you enjoyed it.
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You?re most welcome, Amahra. 🤗
Comment from Fleedleflump
This was a fun chapter - I enjoyed the tension of the disappearing floor and wondering what would happen, and the lighthearted moment of the reveal when they think they're too late. There's a touch of humour in this chapter, which I enjoyed. Lots of adventure and fun, and you leave us with the new threat of the stone dragon.
Mike
Spag note:
'Oh, no," Melitah said' - missing speech marks from start.
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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This was a fun chapter - I enjoyed the tension of the disappearing floor and wondering what would happen, and the lighthearted moment of the reveal when they think they're too late. There's a touch of humour in this chapter, which I enjoyed. Lots of adventure and fun, and you leave us with the new threat of the stone dragon.
Mike
Spag note:
'Oh, no," Melitah said' - missing speech marks from start.
Comment Written 26-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for the stars and for letting me know what parts you enjoyed. That means so much to me. I will make that correction.
Comment from Ulla
Hi amahra, I really enjoyed reading this chapter which was so full of wonderful to action. Now I wonder if they can escape from the in dragon.
Just a small thing: you used 'eyes widened' a few times close to each other. One of them could be 'eyes opened wide'. Just a suggestion for variety. Ulla:)))
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Hi amahra, I really enjoyed reading this chapter which was so full of wonderful to action. Now I wonder if they can escape from the in dragon.
Just a small thing: you used 'eyes widened' a few times close to each other. One of them could be 'eyes opened wide'. Just a suggestion for variety. Ulla:)))
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Ulla, for your review and suggestion.
Comment from Shirley McLain
I'm sorry I don't have a six for you, because this chapter deserves it. It is well written, tense and full of action. I didn't want to stop reading. Great job. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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I'm sorry I don't have a six for you, because this chapter deserves it. It is well written, tense and full of action. I didn't want to stop reading. Great job. Enjoy your afternoon. Shirley
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Shirley. The five is most appreciative. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
Comment from barbara.wilkey
Now we have to wait and see if our friends escape the dragon. I hope it's not a long wait. I really like this story. You're doing a great job writing it. I didn't notice any issues.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Now we have to wait and see if our friends escape the dragon. I hope it's not a long wait. I really like this story. You're doing a great job writing it. I didn't notice any issues.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Every chapter is like a trip to the movies, so before the next part, it's time to popup some corn and slather it in butter for the total experience. Thanks for sharing another great chapter.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Every chapter is like a trip to the movies, so before the next part, it's time to popup some corn and slather it in butter for the total experience. Thanks for sharing another great chapter.
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Ric. Always a pleasure hearing from you. I'm glad you enjoyed it.
Comment from John Ciarmello
I loved this chapter, Amahra. It was full of suspense and imagery. Your writing is easy to follow, and I didn't lose an ounce of interest as I read. In fact, it became more intense, as was intended, I'm sure. Honestly, I haven't been following the entire saga, but when I get a chance to read your work, I'm never disappointed. Great work!
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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I loved this chapter, Amahra. It was full of suspense and imagery. Your writing is easy to follow, and I didn't lose an ounce of interest as I read. In fact, it became more intense, as was intended, I'm sure. Honestly, I haven't been following the entire saga, but when I get a chance to read your work, I'm never disappointed. Great work!
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for taking the time to read and review. I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
You have created a wonderful world, and made it easy to picture. I enjoyed my first entry into it, and pan to come back. I especially liked when Diary was lost behind a wall, but somehow managed to rise above the vanishing floor. Kate xx
points to consider:
unsheathe or unsheath?
strange antics and didn't react to it > strange antics and didn't react (problem of s/p)
Missing him by inches, Dinary > They missed him by inches and Dinary poor grammar)
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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You have created a wonderful world, and made it easy to picture. I enjoyed my first entry into it, and pan to come back. I especially liked when Diary was lost behind a wall, but somehow managed to rise above the vanishing floor. Kate xx
points to consider:
unsheathe or unsheath?
strange antics and didn't react to it > strange antics and didn't react (problem of s/p)
Missing him by inches, Dinary > They missed him by inches and Dinary poor grammar)
Comment Written 25-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your fine review. I will revisit the two points you made.
Comment from Jay Squires
Wow! That was a tension-filled chapter. For my money no one here does tension better than you.
The Gunji stopped ever so often [Thinking you meant "every so often", I Googled it and found to my surprise that both are right. BUT "ever so often" means frequently, and "every so often" means occasionally. So ... decision time?]
A great chapter ... a fine cliff-hanger. A whole week to wait for its resolution.
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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Wow! That was a tension-filled chapter. For my money no one here does tension better than you.
The Gunji stopped ever so often [Thinking you meant "every so often", I Googled it and found to my surprise that both are right. BUT "ever so often" means frequently, and "every so often" means occasionally. So ... decision time?]
A great chapter ... a fine cliff-hanger. A whole week to wait for its resolution.
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jul-2022
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LOL! Whichever one means once in a while. Thanks, Jay I can always count on you to be thorough. And thanks for the stars. I don't take them for granted.
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Oh, I know you don't take anything for granted, my dear!
Comment from royowen
Wow! What an action packed episode you've written here Amahra, a magical effort, with much enchantment, and a cave that was working overtime to doom them to bottomlessness, but Gunji eventually managed to charm the rope to rescue Dinary, but after wresting the emerald, they've released the stipend dragon, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : Like a (trapped door) trapdoor?
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Wow! What an action packed episode you've written here Amahra, a magical effort, with much enchantment, and a cave that was working overtime to doom them to bottomlessness, but Gunji eventually managed to charm the rope to rescue Dinary, but after wresting the emerald, they've released the stipend dragon, beautifully written my friend, blessings Roy
Typo : Like a (trapped door) trapdoor?
Comment Written 24-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Roy. I'll make that correction right away. So glad you enjoyed it.
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Most welcome
