Some of us vs. The rest of us
Human race in action26 total reviews
Comment from estory
This is an interesting contemporary style that highlights the contrasts in humanity, the wide range of morality that we find through out society. Listing it all in this contrasting format makes all those differences of opinion and outlook on life stand out in sharp relief to each other. It also makes us see that on some level, we are all in the same boat. We all have hopes and dreams, we all have shortcomings, we all celebrate successes and end up with defeats and failures. estory
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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This is an interesting contemporary style that highlights the contrasts in humanity, the wide range of morality that we find through out society. Listing it all in this contrasting format makes all those differences of opinion and outlook on life stand out in sharp relief to each other. It also makes us see that on some level, we are all in the same boat. We all have hopes and dreams, we all have shortcomings, we all celebrate successes and end up with defeats and failures. estory
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Yes indeed. Thanks for your review.
Comment from Paul McFarland
Very clever concept. I think you covered about everything. Sometimes your poems are a little long. This one is borderline. I'm trying to find your piece on youtube.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Very clever concept. I think you covered about everything. Sometimes your poems are a little long. This one is borderline. I'm trying to find your piece on youtube.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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I can send you the link later.
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I found it.
Comment from Bev Kenik
am new to this reviewing bit, so here we go. I am wondering if the words might be condensed a little, or perhaps this could be broken up into a series of poems? the mixture of non-rhyming with rhyming lines takes away of some of the rhythm for me. There is a lot of "meat" here, just work on the presentation.
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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am new to this reviewing bit, so here we go. I am wondering if the words might be condensed a little, or perhaps this could be broken up into a series of poems? the mixture of non-rhyming with rhyming lines takes away of some of the rhythm for me. There is a lot of "meat" here, just work on the presentation.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Actually all my lines are rhyming or near rhyming. I been writing a long time. This poem is meant to cover a wide variety as different characteristics and lifestyle of people. Thanks for reading my poem though.
Comment from prettybluebirds
I agree with you that we should all live and let live. We can never know another person's story and all they have endured getting to where they are today. This I thought-provoking writing I enjoyed reading it.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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I agree with you that we should all live and let live. We can never know another person's story and all they have endured getting to where they are today. This I thought-provoking writing I enjoyed reading it.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is potentially an extremely powerful poem, with an important message. However, having read it carefully three times, for once I would go against what I usually say (that synonyms are good). Here, because of the title and style, I would stick to Some ... the rest, and not use "others" that weakens the puches. Kate xx
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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This is potentially an extremely powerful poem, with an important message. However, having read it carefully three times, for once I would go against what I usually say (that synonyms are good). Here, because of the title and style, I would stick to Some ... the rest, and not use "others" that weakens the puches. Kate xx
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is an awesome list of differences, and I love that you're not about judgement - in fact, the exact opposite. Things just are how they are, and fighting about it just shortens everyone's lifespan. This was an excellent read - I'm off now to watch your second poetry slam recording.
Mike
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reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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This is an awesome list of differences, and I love that you're not about judgement - in fact, the exact opposite. Things just are how they are, and fighting about it just shortens everyone's lifespan. This was an excellent read - I'm off now to watch your second poetry slam recording.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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I appreciate all your support. I hope you enjoyed my poetry slam. I just write about truth and what's in my head.
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It's the only way to do it. I thought your performance was great - you looked a little more confident than the other time, and it helped push your words across.
