Some of us vs. The rest of us
Human race in action26 total reviews
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
Excellent poem!
The metre used creates a ribbon like cadence lacing between the carefully selected words.
The topic is relevant and relatable.
I saw your slam poetry on YouTube,
well done!!
Keep expressing yourself!! Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Excellent poem!
The metre used creates a ribbon like cadence lacing between the carefully selected words.
The topic is relevant and relatable.
I saw your slam poetry on YouTube,
well done!!
Keep expressing yourself!! Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 14-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for reading.
Comment from Carlos' girl
Mesmerizing. This signature style of yours is so good. It is like being on a treasure hunt; you keep going and finding little gems. There are many verses in here that I love. Your grammar and metre are perfect.
Great work.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Mesmerizing. This signature style of yours is so good. It is like being on a treasure hunt; you keep going and finding little gems. There are many verses in here that I love. Your grammar and metre are perfect.
Great work.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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I'm glad you think so. Thank you for reading my poem.
Comment from jake cosmos aller
very powerful stuff. I understand you have a recording of a poetry slam. how did that go? any progess made on getting published or doing a blog. this link might help.https://wp.me/p7NAzO-2nO
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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very powerful stuff. I understand you have a recording of a poetry slam. how did that go? any progess made on getting published or doing a blog. this link might help.https://wp.me/p7NAzO-2nO
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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https://youtu.be/Ti3PKXZktmI
https://youtu.be/Ti3PKXZktmI
Poetry slam links are above.
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thanks I will take a look later
Comment from mermaids
In your poem, you capture the human race in action. Your words show how different people are and I like the line about women who choose to stay with abusive men, you give them a voice. This is a powerful poem that speaks to all of us.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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In your poem, you capture the human race in action. Your words show how different people are and I like the line about women who choose to stay with abusive men, you give them a voice. This is a powerful poem that speaks to all of us.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from LisaMay
Your poem does a wonderful job of describing the wide gulf between people's different lives, lifestyle choices, personalities, perceived status and experiences. How dare any of us judge another.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Your poem does a wonderful job of describing the wide gulf between people's different lives, lifestyle choices, personalities, perceived status and experiences. How dare any of us judge another.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your review.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
A commentary on the distinctions between different groups of people that are so often driven by social biases or determinations. These groupings become arbitrary labels and chasms between people.
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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A commentary on the distinctions between different groups of people that are so often driven by social biases or determinations. These groupings become arbitrary labels and chasms between people.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your feedback.
Comment from royowen
Hi Charity, good to talk with you again. Some od have life thrust upon us, and some don't, the trick is to set and adopt one's own philosophy and do it, despite any circumstance thrown at us, the best we can expect is that no tragedy befall, I have seen some wonderful attitudes in the midst of tragedy, which sets the boundaries for me. On of the best scriptures I've seen, "in everything I've learnt to give thanks," that's the trick, decisions are made every day. Well done, your poem could be out of the book "Ecclesiastes" well done, blessings Roy
Typo : (Cremenated) instead of buried. Cremated?
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Hi Charity, good to talk with you again. Some od have life thrust upon us, and some don't, the trick is to set and adopt one's own philosophy and do it, despite any circumstance thrown at us, the best we can expect is that no tragedy befall, I have seen some wonderful attitudes in the midst of tragedy, which sets the boundaries for me. On of the best scriptures I've seen, "in everything I've learnt to give thanks," that's the trick, decisions are made every day. Well done, your poem could be out of the book "Ecclesiastes" well done, blessings Roy
Typo : (Cremenated) instead of buried. Cremated?
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Always good to talk to you. I always look forward to your reviews.
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Well done
Comment from K. Lang-Slattery
Thanks for sharing this fine poem about how we are all so different and there is no real right way to be. Some of my favorite lines are: "Some of us have low self esteem, the rest of us have vanity." and "I can never be a vegan because I'm in love with meat."
However this line leaves me puzzled as to what you are actually referring too. "Some of us are straight, the rest of us are on the down low." Can you explain? what do you mean by "straight" in the context of the poem and what do you mean by "down low?"
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Thanks for sharing this fine poem about how we are all so different and there is no real right way to be. Some of my favorite lines are: "Some of us have low self esteem, the rest of us have vanity." and "I can never be a vegan because I'm in love with meat."
However this line leaves me puzzled as to what you are actually referring too. "Some of us are straight, the rest of us are on the down low." Can you explain? what do you mean by "straight" in the context of the poem and what do you mean by "down low?"
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Straight means attracted to the opposite sex and down low refers to being attracted to the same sex but in the closet with it. Thanks for your review.
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Straight means attracted to the opposite sex and down low refers to being attracted to the same sex but in the closet with it. Thanks for your review.
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Ok, I certainly know what straight means, but it wasn't clear to me that was your intention because I am not familiar with the term "down low" or its meaning. It sounded kind of derogatory to me and I was hoping that you didn't mean it to be. Is there some other term you can use that doesn't seem negative (indeed out of the closet!) and might be more familiar? I'm not an innocent as I grew up in the first town in Southern California to have an openly gay mayor. Thanks for this work.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Well, this is clever and I love some of the choices of rhymes! Yet I cannot agree that the rest of do 'blow' and the other assumptions you make in this poem.
I don't drink alcohol or do any illegal drugs so I do not want to be thrown in with all the rest.
This is just one example of how people might feel after reading this poem. It has some wonderful qualities of inclusiveness which I love but you miss the point with saying the rest of us.
I hope this helps and I want to encourage you to keep writing you have got great potential.
Jesse
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Well, this is clever and I love some of the choices of rhymes! Yet I cannot agree that the rest of do 'blow' and the other assumptions you make in this poem.
I don't drink alcohol or do any illegal drugs so I do not want to be thrown in with all the rest.
This is just one example of how people might feel after reading this poem. It has some wonderful qualities of inclusiveness which I love but you miss the point with saying the rest of us.
I hope this helps and I want to encourage you to keep writing you have got great potential.
Jesse
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Thank you for your detailed feedback.
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I hope this helps!
Comment from Teri7
Charity, This is a very well written poem about Some of us vs The rest of us. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing! love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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Charity, This is a very well written poem about Some of us vs The rest of us. You used very good descriptive words and very good imagery from the art work you chose. Thank you for sharing! love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jul-2022
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You welcome.
