Through Black Eyes
A relationship story in 50 words.10 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Wow! What a short, short story. You told a lot in a few words. It had a sad but foreshadowed ending. This could easily be made into a longer story. It was good. The visual fits perfectly.
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Wow! What a short, short story. You told a lot in a few words. It had a sad but foreshadowed ending. This could easily be made into a longer story. It was good. The visual fits perfectly.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This fifty-word flash fiction story, Through Black Eyes, has the required word count and gives the readers the familiar scene of the woman trapped in a brutal abusive relationship with the scum of the earth.
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This fifty-word flash fiction story, Through Black Eyes, has the required word count and gives the readers the familiar scene of the woman trapped in a brutal abusive relationship with the scum of the earth.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
Comment from Heather Knight
This is very beautiful and I like it even more because I've just finished watching The Duchess and there are lots of similarities between the stories.
Good luck in the contest.
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This is very beautiful and I like it even more because I've just finished watching The Duchess and there are lots of similarities between the stories.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
Comment from Rachelle Allen
Oh,yes. You have done a masterful job with evoking the bleakness of the Lorraine's existence. With just fifty words, you painted her sorrow, her loneliness and her desperation. That is no minor feat. Very well done entry. I bet you'll do excellently on the leader board. Good luck!
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Oh,yes. You have done a masterful job with evoking the bleakness of the Lorraine's existence. With just fifty words, you painted her sorrow, her loneliness and her desperation. That is no minor feat. Very well done entry. I bet you'll do excellently on the leader board. Good luck!
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Every romantical foray has it's up and down, smiles and frown, and when you take a fall, you must resist not staying down, dust yourself clean and trust the next time will be lesson because we should be smarter.
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Every romantical foray has it's up and down, smiles and frown, and when you take a fall, you must resist not staying down, dust yourself clean and trust the next time will be lesson because we should be smarter.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
Comment from Wendy G
A fine story, and a well written one. You've captured the sense of loss and grief very well in your fifty words. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
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A fine story, and a well written one. You've captured the sense of loss and grief very well in your fifty words. Sending best wishes for your entry.
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent short story for the contest
telling the much too often story of abuse.
Hopefully, Lorraine and other will learn
and escape early.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
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This is an excellent short story for the contest
telling the much too often story of abuse.
Hopefully, Lorraine and other will learn
and escape early.
Well done.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
Comment from jessizero
The fallout and remnants of this relationship gone wrong were expressed brilliantly as seen through black eyes. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
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The fallout and remnants of this relationship gone wrong were expressed brilliantly as seen through black eyes. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
Comment from mermaids
There is emotion and feelings in your story. This lady loves her man but he obviously is not good for her. You did well to create a clear story in so few words, not an easy feat.
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There is emotion and feelings in your story. This lady loves her man but he obviously is not good for her. You did well to create a clear story in so few words, not an easy feat.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love the imagery you use - strong and poignant. I wonder how many promising relationships have been destroyed by stupid anger - how many lives left in grey for unknown years in the wake of violence.
This was an excellent piece.
Mike
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I love the imagery you use - strong and poignant. I wonder how many promising relationships have been destroyed by stupid anger - how many lives left in grey for unknown years in the wake of violence.
This was an excellent piece.
Mike
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
