Witness
Viewing comments for Chapter 21 "Variations on a Rose"Modern struggle in another world.
3 total reviews
Comment from royowen
It must be an incredible feeling to come to the end of a long conflict, something that drags on from the dawn of time seemingly, and then it's over, I was born during WW2 but don't remember the celebrations, but I've gleaned enough from subsequent battles and history to remember, you've captured enough essence of that to make this very authentic, great main character, a courageous leader, and war will surely humble a man, or woman, it blocks out all other meaning, survival, beautifully written, I was privileged to read the last row chapters, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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It must be an incredible feeling to come to the end of a long conflict, something that drags on from the dawn of time seemingly, and then it's over, I was born during WW2 but don't remember the celebrations, but I've gleaned enough from subsequent battles and history to remember, you've captured enough essence of that to make this very authentic, great main character, a courageous leader, and war will surely humble a man, or woman, it blocks out all other meaning, survival, beautifully written, I was privileged to read the last row chapters, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing again! I'm glad the chapters came together. The currents running through the fighting were meant to make the characters more human, so I'm glad it came out alright. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Shirley McLain
A wonderful chapter, especially since they got to go home. Does the question get answered why the enemy really left? You did a great job. Enjoy your day. Shirley
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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A wonderful chapter, especially since they got to go home. Does the question get answered why the enemy really left? You did a great job. Enjoy your day. Shirley
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and reviewing again! I'm planning on answering the question about the withdrawal in the next chapter. I hope you have a wonderful day.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I've come in cold here I think, so I can't comment on context. What is obvious just from this chapter is that you have constructed a rich world, peopled by a complex mix of characters, where individual ones are well-fleshed out. On the whole, your description is of a very high standard of writing, that lends weight to your words. However, there is one exception to this: the use of the verb 'to watch' at the beginning. Perhaps you thought repetitition as she was on watch gave power, but the verb figuring four times in quick succession, plus a "keeping watch" in the same lines, is overkill. Kate xx
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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I've come in cold here I think, so I can't comment on context. What is obvious just from this chapter is that you have constructed a rich world, peopled by a complex mix of characters, where individual ones are well-fleshed out. On the whole, your description is of a very high standard of writing, that lends weight to your words. However, there is one exception to this: the use of the verb 'to watch' at the beginning. Perhaps you thought repetitition as she was on watch gave power, but the verb figuring four times in quick succession, plus a "keeping watch" in the same lines, is overkill. Kate xx
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much for reading and reviewing. I went in and fixed what you saw. I really appreciate the feedback! I hope you have a wonderful day.
