Goliath's Hard Day
A senryu about David and Goliath30 total reviews
Comment from Frank Malley
"Goliath's Hard Day" uses a pun on the word 'rocks' for its funny sense. I question whether such a witticism is poetry, and there's no reason why these 14 words need three lines. They work just as well as a single sentence, although perhaps it's a bit long for the page's space. Maybe FS needs a jokes category; then I could have given it a 5.
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reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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"Goliath's Hard Day" uses a pun on the word 'rocks' for its funny sense. I question whether such a witticism is poetry, and there's no reason why these 14 words need three lines. They work just as well as a single sentence, although perhaps it's a bit long for the page's space. Maybe FS needs a jokes category; then I could have given it a 5.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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Poetry dives deep into meaning and that's what I attempted to do, but thank you for telling me how you saw it.
Have a great day,
Tina
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Okay! All the best. Frank
Comment from LisaMay
Goliath wasn't quite hard-headed enough to resist David, who of course had God on his side. I like how you have given us this historic tale in more contemporary terms - 'faith in God rocks'. Faith does indeed give us more power to overcome obstacles.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Goliath wasn't quite hard-headed enough to resist David, who of course had God on his side. I like how you have given us this historic tale in more contemporary terms - 'faith in God rocks'. Faith does indeed give us more power to overcome obstacles.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Lisa, thanks for stopping by and for your words:)
Tina
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Lisa, thanks for stopping by and for your words:)
Tina
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Lisa, thanks for stopping by and for your words:)
Tina
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Tina, very good. In three lines, you've told a complete story.
I especially liked:
That faith in God rocks!
(Nice play on word, rocks)
Thank you for your Author's notes. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Hi Tina, very good. In three lines, you've told a complete story.
I especially liked:
That faith in God rocks!
(Nice play on word, rocks)
Thank you for your Author's notes. A pleasure to read. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you a bunch for this review. It makes me happy you called it a story. I was hoping I captured at least the essence
Have a good day tomorrow!
Tina
Comment from Janet Foor
Excellent three line poem in a senryu poetic form. I love the story of David and Goliath's d you did a great job with the powerful message.
It was a bad day for Goliath.
Blessings
Janet
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Excellent three line poem in a senryu poetic form. I love the story of David and Goliath's d you did a great job with the powerful message.
It was a bad day for Goliath.
Blessings
Janet
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I appreciate your thoughts here, Janet. Thanks for letting me know the message comes through. I love Bible stories because I grew up with a Sunday School teacher who used a flannel board, if you know what that is:)
Thanks again!
Comment from dragonpoet
Nicely done religious senryu. It is a good mix of words and Biblical artwork in shadow. Good keeping the same color scheme with artwork, background and font color.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Nicely done religious senryu. It is a good mix of words and Biblical artwork in shadow. Good keeping the same color scheme with artwork, background and font color.
Good luck in the contest.
Keep writing and stay heatlhy
Joan
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Joan. I know writing keeps me mentally healthy because it's so fun, haha. Covid's on the rise, with mild symptoms here in VA , but I will do my best to stay healthy. You do the same, please:)
Tina
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You?re very welcome, Tina.
I?ll try my best to stay healthy.
Joan
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
This is what happens when you do not have faith. Walking around as if he were blind or deaf got him no where. Except six feet under. Some people do not listen. They think they know it all. Thank you for this great awareness post. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This is what happens when you do not have faith. Walking around as if he were blind or deaf got him no where. Except six feet under. Some people do not listen. They think they know it all. Thank you for this great awareness post. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I love how you applied this to our world. Listening is a forgotten skill I think!
Thanks for the review!
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I love how you applied this to our world. Listening is a forgotten skill I think!
Thanks for the review!
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You are welcome.
Comment from Whitewave
Tina,
You have chosen the perfect picture as background illustration of the words and message in your poem. I am sure there is a little bit of David, and likewise Goliath, in each of us, though we may not always be ready to admit, or even see, that this is so. We have to remember that power comes from within, from a deep faith in the Creator of our universe, rather than any armor or outward show of grandeur.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Tina,
You have chosen the perfect picture as background illustration of the words and message in your poem. I am sure there is a little bit of David, and likewise Goliath, in each of us, though we may not always be ready to admit, or even see, that this is so. We have to remember that power comes from within, from a deep faith in the Creator of our universe, rather than any armor or outward show of grandeur.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Great insight here. Yes, we all have our pride and other failings. What a privilege to be able to handle a battle with the Creator on our side:)
Thanks for your thoughts!
Tina
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Great insight here. Yes, we all have our pride and other failings. What a privilege to be able to handle a battle with the Creator on our side:)
Thanks for your thoughts!
Tina
Comment from jake cosmos aller
hmm nicely sums up the biblical story in three short lines. I don't share your Christian faith by any means, but I do appreciate this short but sweet retelling of the story.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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hmm nicely sums up the biblical story in three short lines. I don't share your Christian faith by any means, but I do appreciate this short but sweet retelling of the story.
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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That's very kind of you to review a poem not of your faith. I appreciate your comments:)
Tina
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That's very kind of you to review a poem not of your faith. I appreciate your comments:)
Tina
Comment from Gloria ....
This is really good, Tina. David and Goliath is an inspiring parable that makes us feel some measure of control over our perceived and even real smallness.
Your words ring true throughout with the hard, and rocks.
Very unique and I wish you great luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Gloria
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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This is really good, Tina. David and Goliath is an inspiring parable that makes us feel some measure of control over our perceived and even real smallness.
Your words ring true throughout with the hard, and rocks.
Very unique and I wish you great luck with the Contest Committee. :))
Gloria
Comment Written 09-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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Gloria, thanks so much. I enjoy your input always!
Tina
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Gloria, thanks so much. I enjoy your input always!
Tina
Comment from leather
What a lovely arrangement of image, text, and background color. This poem meets all the requirements for the contest. I wish you the best with this entry.
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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What a lovely arrangement of image, text, and background color. This poem meets all the requirements for the contest. I wish you the best with this entry.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 09-Jul-2022
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I appreciate the good luck wishes. I may try more Bible stories. Putting them into 3 lines will be a challenge though! Thanks !
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I appreciate the good luck wishes. I may try more Bible stories. Putting them into 3 lines will be a challenge though! Thanks !
