Little Girl Stolen
A Child is Abducted.41 total reviews
Comment from Ric Myworld
I don't know how I could have missed this story, but I'm glad I finally found it in the contest listing. I met a daughter and two grandchildren yesterday for the first time that I didn't know I had. The tangled webs most of us weave. LOL. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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I don't know how I could have missed this story, but I'm glad I finally found it in the contest listing. I met a daughter and two grandchildren yesterday for the first time that I didn't know I had. The tangled webs most of us weave. LOL. Thanks for sharing and good luck in the contest!
Comment Written 05-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 05-Aug-2022
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Thank you. Ric, but up against you and Lee, not much chance for this nonfiction guy.
By the way I posted the final part of my four-part fiction "The Sperm Donor." My first longer fiction story. The notes at the end of part IV, give a shout out to you and the other guys who I interviewed because I used the techniques you all discussed in your interviews. Terry.
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I'm right there with you brother, I just follow around trying to pick up Lee's crumbs. I've been out of town a few days so I'm about 40 reviews behind, but I'll be checking your final part out soon as I can. Have a wonderful weekend!
Comment from MissMerri
Wow! What a story! This is very well-told, making the sequence of events so clear and understandable. The way it is told is very matter-of-fact, almost like a newspaper account, but knowing it was a member of your family makes it so frighteningly real. Thanks for sharing this story. It gives us so much to think about, and to be grateful for as well.
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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Wow! What a story! This is very well-told, making the sequence of events so clear and understandable. The way it is told is very matter-of-fact, almost like a newspaper account, but knowing it was a member of your family makes it so frighteningly real. Thanks for sharing this story. It gives us so much to think about, and to be grateful for as well.
Comment Written 04-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 04-Aug-2022
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MM, thank you for reading this and taking the time to consider all the nominees for story of the month. Terry.
Comment from Pearl Edwards
This reminds me of a story of a neighbour when I was a teenager, only the mum was Australian and the father, took the children (two) back to his home America when the marriage broke up. Same thing it was about 30 years before she saw them again. It's sad isn't it that this can happen in families, but your story at least had a happy ending. Nicely told Terry.
cheers.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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This reminds me of a story of a neighbour when I was a teenager, only the mum was Australian and the father, took the children (two) back to his home America when the marriage broke up. Same thing it was about 30 years before she saw them again. It's sad isn't it that this can happen in families, but your story at least had a happy ending. Nicely told Terry.
cheers.
Comment Written 13-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Pearl, thank you for the six stars, kind words, and wonderful review!!! Terry,
Comment from J.R. Michael
Whoa! What a ride. I really enjoyed the way you formatted your story; especially the decision to place the conversations alternately to advance the story. It really immerses the reader. Thanks for sharing such a drama filled familial story.
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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Whoa! What a ride. I really enjoyed the way you formatted your story; especially the decision to place the conversations alternately to advance the story. It really immerses the reader. Thanks for sharing such a drama filled familial story.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jul-2022
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J.R., thank you for the six-star review!! I am delighted you liked the story. Terry.
Comment from Jay Squires
You write a fascinating tale, Terry. It reads like a mystery, without the ticking clock. You are a hard person to be helpful to. Your writing is so doggone good. If I were to focus on a part of the craft that your story might benefit from, though, it would be the balance between dialogue transitions. By staying with the same structure throughout you can tend to develop an unfortunate echo. I'm speaking of your tendency to begin each started dialogue with the speaker identifying the other by name. I feel that should only rarely be done, but in any event it is a question of balance. Instead you might begin one with the likes of, {Yyvonne studied me for a moment.}==> then follow without the name. These are all things you know, but sometimes we get caught up in the writing and "lose the reader's ears". The one place you did use this device, you used the present tense, when, before and after, you had used the past: {Yvonne laughs, "It was a bit sneaky, but ..." }
When I look back at what I wrote, it all seems a tad picayune, but I'm going by gut reaction, and I thought you might gain by reading from my perspective. But ... from the standpoint of readership ... don't change a friggin' thing, my friend. It has to do with your warmth and authenticity as a writer. People dig it. I dig it!
Jay
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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You write a fascinating tale, Terry. It reads like a mystery, without the ticking clock. You are a hard person to be helpful to. Your writing is so doggone good. If I were to focus on a part of the craft that your story might benefit from, though, it would be the balance between dialogue transitions. By staying with the same structure throughout you can tend to develop an unfortunate echo. I'm speaking of your tendency to begin each started dialogue with the speaker identifying the other by name. I feel that should only rarely be done, but in any event it is a question of balance. Instead you might begin one with the likes of, {Yyvonne studied me for a moment.}==> then follow without the name. These are all things you know, but sometimes we get caught up in the writing and "lose the reader's ears". The one place you did use this device, you used the present tense, when, before and after, you had used the past: {Yvonne laughs, "It was a bit sneaky, but ..." }
When I look back at what I wrote, it all seems a tad picayune, but I'm going by gut reaction, and I thought you might gain by reading from my perspective. But ... from the standpoint of readership ... don't change a friggin' thing, my friend. It has to do with your warmth and authenticity as a writer. People dig it. I dig it!
Jay
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Jay, love your reviews and would be stupid not to consider anything you offer!!! Terry.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
What a story. You never know what your family has hidden from you. They were raised in a different era. Most people let their pride stand in the way. They worried too much about the neighbors or other snobby family members.
It is a shame this happened to this child. I have a question about my mother having another child. On my birth certificate, it indicates my
mother had another child before me. She claimed it was a typo. This was in 1953, and as far as I knew, I was the first.
My mother is deceased. At the gathering before the funeral, I confronted my moms only living sibling sister. She claimed mom did not have another child before me. I enjoyed reading your story.
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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What a story. You never know what your family has hidden from you. They were raised in a different era. Most people let their pride stand in the way. They worried too much about the neighbors or other snobby family members.
It is a shame this happened to this child. I have a question about my mother having another child. On my birth certificate, it indicates my
mother had another child before me. She claimed it was a typo. This was in 1953, and as far as I knew, I was the first.
My mother is deceased. At the gathering before the funeral, I confronted my moms only living sibling sister. She claimed mom did not have another child before me. I enjoyed reading your story.
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Carolyn, thank you for reading and reviewing! That is an interesting story you told. There might be some birth records in your state that could confirm it. If you knew the year or approximate year, you might be able to prove it. Terry
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I would know the year. And I will give it a try. Also, when she was eighteen, she said she had a blood transfusion. I confronted her about it and asked what for. She said she did not remember. There is something covered up. My mother had a great memory.
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Interesting let me know how you come out, it might be a really good short story for you. Terry.
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Yes, thank you.
Comment from Fleedleflump
This is obviously a fascinating family story - the kind of drama we never expect to find when we look into our histories. What fascinated me most, though, was being able to see both sides of the issue. I love how philosophical Jacque is about things and in considering people's motivations. The world is very much a sea of grey :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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This is obviously a fascinating family story - the kind of drama we never expect to find when we look into our histories. What fascinated me most, though, was being able to see both sides of the issue. I love how philosophical Jacque is about things and in considering people's motivations. The world is very much a sea of grey :-)
Mike
Comment Written 12-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jul-2022
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Mike, thank you for reading and reviewing. The world is grey, and I tend to think she may be right about her grandmother, Terry.
Comment from lyenochka
Oh my goodness! What a story. The relationship between those relatives gives me a headache! So your Aunt Yvonne married Willis while she was still married to Jack? How did the Abilene court records deal with that and the divorce?
But I'm so glad that Jacque (normally the girl's name is Jacquie) was able to understand and accept that her grandmother meant that kidnapping for good but her life with her alcoholic father must have been awful.
I liked your storytelling style with interviewing like in the TV shows that switch from interview to interview.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Oh my goodness! What a story. The relationship between those relatives gives me a headache! So your Aunt Yvonne married Willis while she was still married to Jack? How did the Abilene court records deal with that and the divorce?
But I'm so glad that Jacque (normally the girl's name is Jacquie) was able to understand and accept that her grandmother meant that kidnapping for good but her life with her alcoholic father must have been awful.
I liked your storytelling style with interviewing like in the TV shows that switch from interview to interview.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Yvonne married Willis a couple of years after the divorce; sorry I did not make that clear. I was born in 1946, the year Jacque was taken, no one ever told me or my little brother. I did remember meeting Willis in the early 50s while they were married. I did not put in the story but Yvonne was married four times. Her sister who lived in Abilene was married 11 times that we know about, and my mother, once. Terry.
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Oh my - such a complicated love life! I'm glad your mom just once!
Comment from Anne Johnston
Thank you for sharing this story, you have told it well. How devastating it must have been for the mother to not know where here daughter was for so many years. Glad they were able to get back together again.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Thank you for sharing this story, you have told it well. How devastating it must have been for the mother to not know where here daughter was for so many years. Glad they were able to get back together again.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Anne, Thank you for the review! It was a sad story for Yvonne's family. Terry.
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You are welcome
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Terry hope you're enjoying your day. Thanks for sharing another fine story with us, you sure have a lot of entertaining, interesting, and learning moment stories in you portfolio, great job as always, love a happy ending.
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Hello Terry hope you're enjoying your day. Thanks for sharing another fine story with us, you sure have a lot of entertaining, interesting, and learning moment stories in you portfolio, great job as always, love a happy ending.
Comment Written 11-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jul-2022
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Sir, I am delighted that you enjoy the stories!! Terry.