The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 27 "The Return Chapter 27"Erotic Turmoil
36 total reviews
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
Catching up again. lol
This is gathering a fair amount of pace now. It's moving nicely.
deliberately mis-pronouncing his name,- you don't need the hyphen here.
'You don't have to go straight away ... do you? I was hoping--' - I'm not so sure on the dash here. if it's that she was cut off that's cool but it doesn't feel like that. i got the impression she was trailing off, being suggestive, in which case the ellipses may be a better choice.
All the best
G
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Hi Sandra,
Catching up again. lol
This is gathering a fair amount of pace now. It's moving nicely.
deliberately mis-pronouncing his name,- you don't need the hyphen here.
'You don't have to go straight away ... do you? I was hoping--' - I'm not so sure on the dash here. if it's that she was cut off that's cool but it doesn't feel like that. i got the impression she was trailing off, being suggestive, in which case the ellipses may be a better choice.
All the best
G
Comment Written 28-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jul-2022
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Hi Gareth. so sorry I have been so long replying. I knocked a cup of coffee over my laptop! It didn't like it. I had to go and buy an new keyboard to put on top of the laptops one. Nightmare! But at least I didn't have to buy a new one. £9 for the keyboard, it just about right at that moment. Lol. Now I will be able to work through these edits you've kindly done for me. Thank you, big time, my friend. I'll go over that sentence with the dash. Thanks, my wonderful friend. I won't be posting tomorrow, unless I work through the night! Humongous hugs. :) Sandra
Comment from Sanku
Bessie and her poker did a lot to terrorise the evil man .Serves him right and it was very funny.I am wondering what will happen when meg returns to the present.
I have been away and so I read two chapters at a stretch..
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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Bessie and her poker did a lot to terrorise the evil man .Serves him right and it was very funny.I am wondering what will happen when meg returns to the present.
I have been away and so I read two chapters at a stretch..
Comment Written 10-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jul-2022
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I did enjoy writing this chapter. I'm so pleased you have caught up, the next part has been posted. I can't give you any clues about Margot's future, just enough to tell you she will be happy. :)) Thank you for the sixth star, Sanku, that is really nice of you. More hugs, my friend. Sandra xxx
Comment from dmt1967
(When Lord Brandon marched into the reception room, his foul mood was immediately apparent. The atmosphere cooled to somewhere below freezing. Roger Crankston-Smythe was already regretting his decision to come.) For a start hook, in my opinion, this is very telling. Maybe, (Lord Brandon marched into the reception room with a scowl plastered on his red, blotchy face... Roger Crankston-Smythe took a step backwards and rubbed a hand over his face. With his mouth turned down, he gave a heavy sigh.)
Bessie laughed, and, delighted with the result, followed him out(, and left.) I don't think you need the last bit and, by (deleting) it, it makes the sentence more dramatic, in my opinion.
Another great chapter and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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(When Lord Brandon marched into the reception room, his foul mood was immediately apparent. The atmosphere cooled to somewhere below freezing. Roger Crankston-Smythe was already regretting his decision to come.) For a start hook, in my opinion, this is very telling. Maybe, (Lord Brandon marched into the reception room with a scowl plastered on his red, blotchy face... Roger Crankston-Smythe took a step backwards and rubbed a hand over his face. With his mouth turned down, he gave a heavy sigh.)
Bessie laughed, and, delighted with the result, followed him out(, and left.) I don't think you need the last bit and, by (deleting) it, it makes the sentence more dramatic, in my opinion.
Another great chapter and thank you for sharing. Have a great weekend.
Comment Written 08-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jul-2022
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I like the beginning you've written, and will keep it!! It does pack more of a punch. Thank you so much for this, Jackie, I'm gratefully accepting all the help I can get. You can never get too much. When will I see the next chapter of yours???? Love and hugs, my friend. :) Sandra
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It is very hard to get enough points on here to post them which is why it is so slow lol. I, unlike some writers on here, am like you and think that reviewers should be paid more than 1 or 50 cent to read such long chapters but I am reviewing like mad and hope to post the next chapter at the end of this week.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, the suspects are coming out of the woodwork. You did a
great job with this chapter, Sandra. Everything is starting to fit
together--esp the horrid characters of Miles' family. It's great
that he has none of their hateful personalities, as far as we know.
Well, Mr. Crankey implicated himself and Lord Brandon. who else
may be involved? Bessie was hilarious with the poker scene. I hope
you add more of her humor in the remaining chapters. The talk
Bessie and Margot had was filled with great details. Miles' reaction
to the letter was perfect. Bessie knows Margot is deeply in love with
Miles. All this makes me wonder what will happen with Margot's
love life when she returns to the here and now. I believe she will
find her true love with?????possibly a descendant of MIles????
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more, Jan
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Well, the suspects are coming out of the woodwork. You did a
great job with this chapter, Sandra. Everything is starting to fit
together--esp the horrid characters of Miles' family. It's great
that he has none of their hateful personalities, as far as we know.
Well, Mr. Crankey implicated himself and Lord Brandon. who else
may be involved? Bessie was hilarious with the poker scene. I hope
you add more of her humor in the remaining chapters. The talk
Bessie and Margot had was filled with great details. Miles' reaction
to the letter was perfect. Bessie knows Margot is deeply in love with
Miles. All this makes me wonder what will happen with Margot's
love life when she returns to the here and now. I believe she will
find her true love with?????possibly a descendant of MIles????
Thanks for sharing. I look forward to reading more, Jan
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you so very much for another lovely review, dear Jan, and the golden star. I really appreciate your support, my friend, it means so much to me. Margot has to leave Meg soon, there is only a few days left for Bessie and her to find Meg's murderer and stop him/her. We have to see what Miles does when he has all the evidence of foul play in his hands. Love and hugs, my dear friend. :) Sandra xxx
I'm sorry it's taken me a while to reply, Jan, I'm so tired at the moment. But, I think I'm passed the worst, and can only get better now.
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🐈⬛🙏❤️
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is an excellent chapter, Sandra. You've done a great job of introducing all of these intriguing things, like the letter and conversations, that seem to be bringing us toward some solving of the mysteries. If there were any writing errors, others must have found them, because I see none in this reading.
Don't push yourself too hard! Hugs
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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This is an excellent chapter, Sandra. You've done a great job of introducing all of these intriguing things, like the letter and conversations, that seem to be bringing us toward some solving of the mysteries. If there were any writing errors, others must have found them, because I see none in this reading.
Don't push yourself too hard! Hugs
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Judy, for your lovely review and the sixth gold star. I'm so pleased you enjoyed this chapter. I've had some errors picked up for me, and was so very grateful to those reviewers for pointing them out. I will never forget all the caring and amazing friendships that have been given me while I've felt so poorly. I am getting there, slowly. Which is good. Your kindness and support has been so nice, Judy, thank you for being such a good friend. Love and hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Action may appear fun, fun to someone, what about the effect, reaction, reality is tougher and more decisive than fiction, none can challenge, everything is not acting, thinking has its own realm and if acted has reaction and that make consequence; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Action may appear fun, fun to someone, what about the effect, reaction, reality is tougher and more decisive than fiction, none can challenge, everything is not acting, thinking has its own realm and if acted has reaction and that make consequence; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jul-2022
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Thank you so much, Alcreator Litt Dear, for reading and adding your thoughts of this chapter. I really appreciate them. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Cindy Warren
Oh, that was fun! I loved the part where Bessie tapped him with the poker. I can imagine the look on his face, and he must have come close to peeing on himself. He'll be shaking in his boots the rest of the night, and imagine his dreams when he eventually falls asleep!
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Oh, that was fun! I loved the part where Bessie tapped him with the poker. I can imagine the look on his face, and he must have come close to peeing on himself. He'll be shaking in his boots the rest of the night, and imagine his dreams when he eventually falls asleep!
Comment Written 05-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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I enjoyed writing that part, Cindy, Bessie deserved some fun, and Lord Brandon deserved what she did. I actually thought of having him pee himself! lol. Thanks so much for this lovely review and the golden sixth star, my friend. I really appreciated them both. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
Such an interesting chapter and quite amusing as Bessie dropped the fireplace poker. Is it possible Meg is a half-sister to Miles? Looking forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Such an interesting chapter and quite amusing as Bessie dropped the fireplace poker. Is it possible Meg is a half-sister to Miles? Looking forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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Thank you, Carol, for another lovely review. I don't think Meg's mother even liked Miles' father, so no, they aren't blood related at all. We'll see what happens after Miles has read all the incriminating papers the two women have found. I'm glad you enjoyed the poker play. :)) Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from estory
You had a great comic scene there with Bessie brandishing that hovering poker at Brandon, after the solicitor sets him for it with that story of having seen the old man's ghost. It was a great Ghost and Mrs. Muir moment. Then there was ever widening intrigue as Miles considers the letter in the picture and we start sorting out who really killed Meg. estory
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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You had a great comic scene there with Bessie brandishing that hovering poker at Brandon, after the solicitor sets him for it with that story of having seen the old man's ghost. It was a great Ghost and Mrs. Muir moment. Then there was ever widening intrigue as Miles considers the letter in the picture and we start sorting out who really killed Meg. estory
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jul-2022
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I'm glad you enjoyed that part, estory, I had fun writing it. I loved The Ghost and Mrs Muir. Thank you so much for this lovely review, my friend, I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
Are you not feeling well? Sounds like the virus...like your story so much and I hope that you'll continue writing the chapters. Have you decided how many chapters are in this book? So good!
This chapter is bringing to light many things. The elderly ancestors or friends of Miles have committed some deadly acts. Probably it will come out in the open before anything else happens.
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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Are you not feeling well? Sounds like the virus...like your story so much and I hope that you'll continue writing the chapters. Have you decided how many chapters are in this book? So good!
This chapter is bringing to light many things. The elderly ancestors or friends of Miles have committed some deadly acts. Probably it will come out in the open before anything else happens.
Comment Written 04-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 04-Jul-2022
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I've caught Covid for the second time, and it's hit me harder this time around. But I think I'm over the worst of it now, thank goodness. Thank you so much for another lovely review, and yes, I'm continuing with my story, and won't stop until it's finished. You've really made my day, Rosemary, telling me how much you like it. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xxx