Eyes Bright With Promise
We pledged our future.14 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the My Significant Other writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your poem written in your own unique style about your life partner. You have a way with words that is captivating. Your writing flows naturally and it's easy to understand. Well done.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Excellent entry for the My Significant Other writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your poem written in your own unique style about your life partner. You have a way with words that is captivating. Your writing flows naturally and it's easy to understand. Well done.
Gypsy
"Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason".- Novalis
Comment Written 01-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thanks for reviewing.
Comment from Quoiky
Your writing was interesting. I was left with a feeling of wanting to smack the guy who broke your heart.
Don't worry, if it's meant to be.... it will be. Otherwise, there is something better out there for you.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Your writing was interesting. I was left with a feeling of wanting to smack the guy who broke your heart.
Don't worry, if it's meant to be.... it will be. Otherwise, there is something better out there for you.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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That guy certainly deserved a smack. Thanks for your comments.
Comment from C2
I enjoyed your poem and your choice to concentrate the rage and bitterness of the story in the last stanza which was an unexpected shift in tone. Good job!
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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I enjoyed your poem and your choice to concentrate the rage and bitterness of the story in the last stanza which was an unexpected shift in tone. Good job!
Comment Written 01-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Thanks for your review comments!
Comment from Bill Schott
This poem, Eyes Bright with Promise, starts out with a lilting tone and devolves into a bitter shot at the dog who left you and his female dog conspirator. I hope you found a better one.
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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This poem, Eyes Bright with Promise, starts out with a lilting tone and devolves into a bitter shot at the dog who left you and his female dog conspirator. I hope you found a better one.
Comment Written 01-Jul-2022
reply by the author on 03-Jul-2022
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Haven't found a better one yet - not looking. Too many dogs out there.
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello fellow writer a good day to you. I hope this review finds you well. As a poet/writer it is always interesting to see the different takes on these contest/writing prompts. I think your take is definitely a good one, a cautionary tale for the ladies. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Hello fellow writer a good day to you. I hope this review finds you well. As a poet/writer it is always interesting to see the different takes on these contest/writing prompts. I think your take is definitely a good one, a cautionary tale for the ladies. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reviewing. People don't usually apply cautionary tales to themselves, unfortunately for them.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Trying to critique a lovelorn post is difficult because I find myself asking questions regarding how what once was found to be a treasure is lost, and how the new person cannot ask themselves if the other left his first choice how secure can they be?
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Trying to critique a lovelorn post is difficult because I find myself asking questions regarding how what once was found to be a treasure is lost, and how the new person cannot ask themselves if the other left his first choice how secure can they be?
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Your query is valid. Clearly he'd not be someone to trust - 'the best indicator of future behaviour is past behaviour'.
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ain't that the truth!
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
You made me smile here and that last stanza is humorous and truthful. I enjoyed the sentiment and men who have a wondering eye are soon onto the next conquest and it is best to let them go as they are no use to us. I loved the rhymes, the metre was good in places, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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You made me smile here and that last stanza is humorous and truthful. I enjoyed the sentiment and men who have a wondering eye are soon onto the next conquest and it is best to let them go as they are no use to us. I loved the rhymes, the metre was good in places, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Yes indeed - trust, and being able to be trusted, are paramount.
Comment from Wendy G
Yes, your sadness shows through very strongly, and while she may be younger, she may not have made him any happier. Sometimes it's the thrill of the chase of a younger woman, (and to prove he is still attractive to them) more than any deep and lasting true love. Beautifully and powerfully written, with impressive rhyme and metre. Best wishes for yourcontest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Yes, your sadness shows through very strongly, and while she may be younger, she may not have made him any happier. Sometimes it's the thrill of the chase of a younger woman, (and to prove he is still attractive to them) more than any deep and lasting true love. Beautifully and powerfully written, with impressive rhyme and metre. Best wishes for yourcontest.
Wendy
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022
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Yes, I think the 'midlife crisis' kicked in with him. I should never have told him that I loved how our relationship fit us like a pair of slippers. I didn't mean at all that it was boring, just relaxed and comfortable, but he must've taken it wrong.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
There are so many younger women on the arms of older men. And it is sickening. All those bitches are only out for the fool's money. High maintenance bitches. I hate to say this, but that man is not worthy of a good woman. He thinks he has a trophy. Just wait and see, he will be all along, broke and sorry. You will have the last laugh.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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There are so many younger women on the arms of older men. And it is sickening. All those bitches are only out for the fool's money. High maintenance bitches. I hate to say this, but that man is not worthy of a good woman. He thinks he has a trophy. Just wait and see, he will be all along, broke and sorry. You will have the last laugh.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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I agree with you. Money isn't everything and neither is sex. I hope to have the last laugh but I've been waiting a while.
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I wish you the best.
Comment from dellsworthpoet
An interesting poem. And a good moral. Love is a flower, and like them needs care and tending to survive. The poem flows well. The language is melancholy as is fitting. The narrative stays on point. The end is a good tie up.
Suggestion:
to a young bitch on heat.
The term is usually bitch in heat.
Thanks for a good read.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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An interesting poem. And a good moral. Love is a flower, and like them needs care and tending to survive. The poem flows well. The language is melancholy as is fitting. The narrative stays on point. The end is a good tie up.
Suggestion:
to a young bitch on heat.
The term is usually bitch in heat.
Thanks for a good read.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review and nice comments. Where I live we use the term 'on heat', and an internet site I checked said so too... but it was a UK site so I guess I'll have to change it so Americans don't keep pointing it out.
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Either that or keep educating us on England's format. You are welcome and keep it as you will.
