The Amazing Heist
Viewing comments for Chapter 16 "The Heist..."A team of six plan their final heist.
6 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
Why do we always root for the crooks who are criminals. So we are hoping this line is true: "In less than an hour they would be rich, richer than anyone could imagine." Great idiom: "They were ready to fry this baby, toast up the day." At first I did not get why the wet suits."Were they going through the sewers. Now midway, I'm getting it...here we go. fasten your seatbelts readers. Good wordplay: "it was easy picking." So clever: "This was to allow the coinage to disperse to the ground any electricity." Another A+
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Why do we always root for the crooks who are criminals. So we are hoping this line is true: "In less than an hour they would be rich, richer than anyone could imagine." Great idiom: "They were ready to fry this baby, toast up the day." At first I did not get why the wet suits."Were they going through the sewers. Now midway, I'm getting it...here we go. fasten your seatbelts readers. Good wordplay: "it was easy picking." So clever: "This was to allow the coinage to disperse to the ground any electricity." Another A+
Comment Written 11-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 12-Aug-2022
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Thank you so very much, Liz for reading, reviewing and your fantastic comments. Ahaaa, you figure out the idea behind the heist. Thank you for the sixes.
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***big smiles***
Comment from lyenochka
Wow! That was fast! The wet suit idea was brilliant. Is there a final chapter next week? So glad you continued this book!
I really liked the expressive "they were ready to fry this baby, toast up the day." (Since it's a complete sentence, you might want to put a semicolon before this or make this a new sentence.)
there was a steady heart-beats on each of them. (heartbeat) singular because of "a."
coinage to disperse into the ground any electricity. (to ground any electricity?) ground as a verb not a noun??
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Wow! That was fast! The wet suit idea was brilliant. Is there a final chapter next week? So glad you continued this book!
I really liked the expressive "they were ready to fry this baby, toast up the day." (Since it's a complete sentence, you might want to put a semicolon before this or make this a new sentence.)
there was a steady heart-beats on each of them. (heartbeat) singular because of "a."
coinage to disperse into the ground any electricity. (to ground any electricity?) ground as a verb not a noun??
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Helene for reading, reviewing and your fantastic comments. I will fix those shortly. (smile) Hugs!
Comment from damommy
They think they've pulled the best heist ever. Only time will tell whether they're caught. Good details and characters. I came late to this story, but I'm looking forward to more.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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They think they've pulled the best heist ever. Only time will tell whether they're caught. Good details and characters. I came late to this story, but I'm looking forward to more.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Yvonne for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments. Mmm I don't think they will be caught. (smile)
Comment from royowen
It sounds so smooth, a brilliant heist, putting ot the guards was the master plan of the century, they would also be famous, and nobody would know who they were, assuming their work and planning was flawless. Not killing anyone was fantastic, beautifully written Alie, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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It sounds so smooth, a brilliant heist, putting ot the guards was the master plan of the century, they would also be famous, and nobody would know who they were, assuming their work and planning was flawless. Not killing anyone was fantastic, beautifully written Alie, blessings Roy
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Roy for reading, reviewing and your great comments. A hint from the author, lol, the plan is flawless, and not killing anyone was their motto.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent story about an exciting Heist. It was easy to visualize the robbery. Good plot and characters
development. A very entertaining story.
Blessed be,
Gypsy
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." --Picasso
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Excellent story about an exciting Heist. It was easy to visualize the robbery. Good plot and characters
development. A very entertaining story.
Blessed be,
Gypsy
"Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist." --Picasso
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Gypsy Blue Rose for reading, reviewing and your great comments. Blessed be n hugs!
Comment from Pantygynt
You have a clever idea for this but I did feel thathere was an imbalance of tell over show.
'The whole idea would be that they would use the van as a change site. A few blocks after the last bank made the regular deposit they would strike. 'From this point on the events described could have been shown by using dialogue to a greater extent. I think that would have brought alive.
How long did it take? That would have been another way of building tension through dialogue.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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You have a clever idea for this but I did feel thathere was an imbalance of tell over show.
'The whole idea would be that they would use the van as a change site. A few blocks after the last bank made the regular deposit they would strike. 'From this point on the events described could have been shown by using dialogue to a greater extent. I think that would have brought alive.
How long did it take? That would have been another way of building tension through dialogue.
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Pantygynt for reading, reviewing and your great comments. Sorry it didn't meet your expectations but I will try harder on the next chapter.
