Love Empowers
Two who become one are blessed24 total reviews
Comment from lyenochka
Oh, you told this story so beautifully! I can imagine how tempting it was after all, you were hoping to make a little money for the baby and that barker was just too good at his job. Ronnie loved you more than anything so the money didn't matter and your sincere and humble heart of telling the truth to him was one of the reasons he loved you so much!
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Oh, you told this story so beautifully! I can imagine how tempting it was after all, you were hoping to make a little money for the baby and that barker was just too good at his job. Ronnie loved you more than anything so the money didn't matter and your sincere and humble heart of telling the truth to him was one of the reasons he loved you so much!
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate your words and your time. I have lived a charmed -- if not charming (lol) life. ann
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You ARE charming, Ann! 💖💖
Comment from John Ciarmello
What a beautiful story, Ann. We've all been in those shoes at various fairs. I'm happy he was understanding of what happened to you that day. You may have been safer had you gone to the car show with Ronnie, lol. I love it! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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What a beautiful story, Ann. We've all been in those shoes at various fairs. I'm happy he was understanding of what happened to you that day. You may have been safer had you gone to the car show with Ronnie, lol. I love it! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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You are right -- the car show would have cheaper money-wise, but possibly not lesson-wise. Thanks for reading and commenting. ann
Comment from lancellot
It seems the meat of the story is what happened at the carnival, and how you lost your money to a barker. It is a good moral story and shows the honesty between you and Ronnie. I don't think you need much of the beginning as, it doesn't seem to add anything to your tale.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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It seems the meat of the story is what happened at the carnival, and how you lost your money to a barker. It is a good moral story and shows the honesty between you and Ronnie. I don't think you need much of the beginning as, it doesn't seem to add anything to your tale.
Comment Written 30-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Thanks for an honest review and I will certainly take every suggestion seriously. I do sometimes get wordy in wanting my readers to know my characters. Maybe knowing them that well is not key to the story. ann
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Annmuma a good day to you. I hope this review finds you well. As a poet/writer it is always interesting to see the different takes on these contest/writing prompts. I think your take is definitely a good one. We all need that kind of love, someone loving you even when you're at your worse. Good job and good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Hello Annmuma a good day to you. I hope this review finds you well. As a poet/writer it is always interesting to see the different takes on these contest/writing prompts. I think your take is definitely a good one. We all need that kind of love, someone loving you even when you're at your worse. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much for your words and your time in sharing them. I appreciate. ann
Comment from Fleedleflump
I absolutely adored reading this. Your gentle, natural storytelling style kept me there with you the whole time. I can feel those decades of love dripping from every word of this. It's beautiful.
Mike
Spag notes:
'"Do you need any money? No. I've got the ten dollars Daddy gave me' - looks like this needs a paragraph break and speech marks after 'Money'
'He stopped for a moment, three darts, and hit three balloons.' - I think you're missing the word 'threw' after 'moment,'
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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I absolutely adored reading this. Your gentle, natural storytelling style kept me there with you the whole time. I can feel those decades of love dripping from every word of this. It's beautiful.
Mike
Spag notes:
'"Do you need any money? No. I've got the ten dollars Daddy gave me' - looks like this needs a paragraph break and speech marks after 'Money'
'He stopped for a moment, three darts, and hit three balloons.' - I think you're missing the word 'threw' after 'moment,'
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Wait a minute -- I need my sunglasses -- 6 shiny stars!! Thanks so very much. I appreciate your time and your encouraging review. I agree with the 'mis-step' you mentioned and will make the correction. ann
Comment from Jay Squires
I loved your story, Ann. You have been indeed blessed.
Here are a few notes I made as I read along:
No sparks flew between he and Merilyn [No sparks flew between HIM and Merilyn]
I was blessed with forty years - until his unexpected death on January 6, 2003- of becoming one with one of the best men I've ever known. [If you will allow me a small suggestion here, Ann: You have two separate thoughts that shouldn't be battling each other, but do in this sentence. To me, the dominant sentence is the 40 blessed years you were married to your husband. As a matter of fact, seeing near the end of your delightful and heartfelt story, how forgiving your husband was ... I would almost suggest taking that first sentence and adding it as the last paragraph ... except for the last sentence ... something to the effect of, "Ronnie Muma, [?] the love of my life, died on Jan. 6, 2003.
Ann, please don't think I'm trying to rewrite your story for you. That's the furthest thing from my mind. I was merely trying to resolve that one sentence that troubled me, and then discovered after unbinding the two separate, and somewhat warring, subjects, that they might leave your reader -- at story's end -- with a feeling for the depth of your love for him.
Jay
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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I loved your story, Ann. You have been indeed blessed.
Here are a few notes I made as I read along:
No sparks flew between he and Merilyn [No sparks flew between HIM and Merilyn]
I was blessed with forty years - until his unexpected death on January 6, 2003- of becoming one with one of the best men I've ever known. [If you will allow me a small suggestion here, Ann: You have two separate thoughts that shouldn't be battling each other, but do in this sentence. To me, the dominant sentence is the 40 blessed years you were married to your husband. As a matter of fact, seeing near the end of your delightful and heartfelt story, how forgiving your husband was ... I would almost suggest taking that first sentence and adding it as the last paragraph ... except for the last sentence ... something to the effect of, "Ronnie Muma, [?] the love of my life, died on Jan. 6, 2003.
Ann, please don't think I'm trying to rewrite your story for you. That's the furthest thing from my mind. I was merely trying to resolve that one sentence that troubled me, and then discovered after unbinding the two separate, and somewhat warring, subjects, that they might leave your reader -- at story's end -- with a feeling for the depth of your love for him.
Jay
Comment Written 29-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 29-Jun-2022
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Jay, I sincerely appreciate every suggestion. Seeing a post from someone else's view is important to improving one's skill. thanks. so much.
ann
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I'm just thankful my review wasn't an interference -- or worse, that you were left with a feeling that I didn't like your writing. You are an excellent writer, Ann. you are skilled in your craft and a gifted storyteller. Keep that, if you jetison all else! Jay
Comment from mermaids
I enjoyed reading your story. The reader is right there with you at the Carnival and losing the money. I am glad your husband was not mad at you, the carnival games are tricky anyways. Excellent writing that holds the reader's interest and a smooth flow of story.
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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I enjoyed reading your story. The reader is right there with you at the Carnival and losing the money. I am glad your husband was not mad at you, the carnival games are tricky anyways. Excellent writing that holds the reader's interest and a smooth flow of story.
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much for reading and commenting. I appreciate both. ann
Comment from karenina
Another great story! Nothing better than these true accounts...
We all can relate to making an unwise decision...
You had me fully invested as that barker lured you to spend every last cent!
So glad your husband was good natured about it.
You set the path for a wondrous marital journey when you elected to tell the truth!
God Bless your marriage and these treasures memories!
Karenina
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Another great story! Nothing better than these true accounts...
We all can relate to making an unwise decision...
You had me fully invested as that barker lured you to spend every last cent!
So glad your husband was good natured about it.
You set the path for a wondrous marital journey when you elected to tell the truth!
God Bless your marriage and these treasures memories!
Karenina
Comment Written 28-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 28-Jun-2022
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Thank you very much for reading and for sharing your thoughts. I appreciate your time in doing both. ann
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What a great account you shared!
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Yeah, you gotta watch those carnies. They'll do anything
to get your money. Then you lose, but they make it seem
fair and square. Thank goodness the crowd and the police
were on your side. I'm glad you owned up to hubby, and still
loved you, Anne.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Yeah, you gotta watch those carnies. They'll do anything
to get your money. Then you lose, but they make it seem
fair and square. Thank goodness the crowd and the police
were on your side. I'm glad you owned up to hubby, and still
loved you, Anne.
Thanks for sharing and best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reading and for commenting. I appreciate your time in doing both. ann
Comment from Bill Schott
This article, Love Endures, is a great story about Ronnie and his instances of excellent husbanding when faced with the love of his life being human. So glad for your forty years together.
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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This article, Love Endures, is a great story about Ronnie and his instances of excellent husbanding when faced with the love of his life being human. So glad for your forty years together.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your kind words and your time in sharing them with me. ann
