The piece of yarn
a gift of love20 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This supernatural story, The Piece of Yarn, is a fun alternative to keep a child happy, especially if one is feeling less special than they ought.
  |
This supernatural story, The Piece of Yarn, is a fun alternative to keep a child happy, especially if one is feeling less special than they ought.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
Comment from dmt1967
This is a good story but I felt some of the dialogue was a bit wooden like the start hook between the girl and her father. Plus, you have opted words that are needed to make the sentences make sense. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a good weekend.
 |
This is a good story but I felt some of the dialogue was a bit wooden like the start hook between the girl and her father. Plus, you have opted words that are needed to make the sentences make sense. Good luck in the contest and thank you for sharing. Have a good weekend.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
Comment from tfawcus
I love this yarn, Iza! It is just the sort of tale a father might spin to his daughter, full of fun and mystery. It is so much more comforting to be curled up in front of the fire in a tight ball than to come with no strings attached.
 |
I love this yarn, Iza! It is just the sort of tale a father might spin to his daughter, full of fun and mystery. It is so much more comforting to be curled up in front of the fire in a tight ball than to come with no strings attached.
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
Comment from leather
This was an easy and engaging read. I wonder about the word "hunt" in the fourth line from the bottom--did you mean 'hunt' or 'haunt'?
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
This was an easy and engaging read. I wonder about the word "hunt" in the fourth line from the bottom--did you mean 'hunt' or 'haunt'?
Best wishes.
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Hi thank you so much for your kind review, the correction and your best wishes:)
Comment from estory
This is a cute, personalized take on the old stork bringing the babies story, and I think it captures something of the personalities of your family, that sense of humor. It also connects that work ethic through generations, that labor of love that is the bedrock of all families. Interesting take on the old fairy tale estory
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
This is a cute, personalized take on the old stork bringing the babies story, and I think it captures something of the personalities of your family, that sense of humor. It also connects that work ethic through generations, that labor of love that is the bedrock of all families. Interesting take on the old fairy tale estory
Comment Written 25-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much for your original review:) I really enjoyed:)
Comment from LJbutterfly
Wow! This story is so unusual and creative. I was held spellbound, wondering what the dad would say next. The little girl was mailed to her dad as a piece of yarn. I am shocked. This story HAS to win. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
Wow! This story is so unusual and creative. I was held spellbound, wondering what the dad would say next. The little girl was mailed to her dad as a piece of yarn. I am shocked. This story HAS to win. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Hi thank you so much for taking a chance on this little story. Unfortunately we didn't won, but we made it to the 3rd place:)
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
That's quite a yarn you've told us! Engaging story and I appreciate the large font, as sometimes these things are hard to read.
There were some punctuation issues, but I believe another reviewer pointed that out.
Good luck with the contest.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
That's quite a yarn you've told us! Engaging story and I appreciate the large font, as sometimes these things are hard to read.
There were some punctuation issues, but I believe another reviewer pointed that out.
Good luck with the contest.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Hi Pam thank you so much for taking a chance on this story, I really appreciated:)
Comment from sandra roth
I liked the way it was written. It was easy to follow and flowed nicely. the ending was cute and left it open for another story or an addition to this one. had a cute ending. The idea was different, which made it unique. some of it might be a little confusing if it was written as a children's story, but still enjoyable.
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
|
I liked the way it was written. It was easy to follow and flowed nicely. the ending was cute and left it open for another story or an addition to this one. had a cute ending. The idea was different, which made it unique. some of it might be a little confusing if it was written as a children's story, but still enjoyable.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 25-Jun-2022
-
Thank you so much Sandra:)
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
What a great "yarn baby" tale.
Several observations:
Para 4, 1st sentence: I haven't seen (Yay) spelled with an (e) before but maybe it's not a problem.
Para 4, 3rd sentence: Add paragraph space after (dad.")
Para 6, 6th sentence: Need a closing quotation mark after (said:) This to close from the opening quotation mark before (No!)
Para 8, 1st sentence: Need space between (mumbled.) and (")
Para 10, 3rd sentence: Change (where) to (were)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Add (that) between (is) and (possible)
Para 15, 1st sentence: Change (that) to (than)
So that' where they come from. I would have never guessed.
Funny story
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
|
What a great "yarn baby" tale.
Several observations:
Para 4, 1st sentence: I haven't seen (Yay) spelled with an (e) before but maybe it's not a problem.
Para 4, 3rd sentence: Add paragraph space after (dad.")
Para 6, 6th sentence: Need a closing quotation mark after (said:) This to close from the opening quotation mark before (No!)
Para 8, 1st sentence: Need space between (mumbled.) and (")
Para 10, 3rd sentence: Change (where) to (were)
Para 13, 1st sentence: Add (that) between (is) and (possible)
Para 15, 1st sentence: Change (that) to (than)
So that' where they come from. I would have never guessed.
Funny story
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
Comment from Wendy G
That was interesting - and definitely very different from the usual, which makes it refreshing to read. I like the connection between yarn and a story which is a yarn. Best wishes.
Wendy
|
That was interesting - and definitely very different from the usual, which makes it refreshing to read. I like the connection between yarn and a story which is a yarn. Best wishes.
Wendy
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
