Jasper the Unfriendly Ghost
a change of tune9 total reviews
Comment from judiverse
I'm glad you chose a humorous take on the subject. Much needed. Best of luck in the contest. I'm glad things worked out for Jasper and Jude. They became friends even after Jasper caused him to fall off his bike. They were able to share a laugh over it. Would that certain parties today could solve their differences so amicably! Very enjoyable, and a good subject for children. judi
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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I'm glad you chose a humorous take on the subject. Much needed. Best of luck in the contest. I'm glad things worked out for Jasper and Jude. They became friends even after Jasper caused him to fall off his bike. They were able to share a laugh over it. Would that certain parties today could solve their differences so amicably! Very enjoyable, and a good subject for children. judi
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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thanks a lot, Judi. appreciate your kind words!
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
What a fun story. I liked how you maintained the "supposed convention" of ghosts being in sheets. You did a lot of things that were unique. Letting Jude see Jasper, Mom inviting Jasper in the house to "get fixed up." All in all, it was just a cute ghostly fantasy.
Nicely done.
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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What a fun story. I liked how you maintained the "supposed convention" of ghosts being in sheets. You did a lot of things that were unique. Letting Jude see Jasper, Mom inviting Jasper in the house to "get fixed up." All in all, it was just a cute ghostly fantasy.
Nicely done.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 24-Jun-2022
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thanks, Gary. What a neat review. I appreciate that you liked those things.
I love to write for kids; I guess because I'm sort of a kid at heart. :)
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the Supernatural Encounter writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Excellent entry for the Supernatural Encounter writing prompt contest.
I enjoyed reading your story. It moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand and follow. Good character development.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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thank you, ma'am! Glad you liked it.
Comment from Teri7
This is a very cute and very well written story you have penned for the Supernatural Encounter writing prompt. You used very good descriptive words. I loved the way it started and ended. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This is a very cute and very well written story you have penned for the Supernatural Encounter writing prompt. You used very good descriptive words. I loved the way it started and ended. Best wishes in the contest. love and blessings, Teri
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Teri. Writing for kids is what I do everyday. Love it. I appreciate your very kind words about my story, and your good wishes.
Thanks again,
Katharine
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a sweet story and makes sense. A child might like to read this and would certainly smile at the outcome. Well written. I'd skip telling about Casper because modern children don't know who he was, but that is just an opinion. The story is about Jasper, who is most unfriendly. Best of luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This is a sweet story and makes sense. A child might like to read this and would certainly smile at the outcome. Well written. I'd skip telling about Casper because modern children don't know who he was, but that is just an opinion. The story is about Jasper, who is most unfriendly. Best of luck in the contest.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Well, the child's mom or dad might might say, Oh yeah, I remember Casper the Friendly Ghost, and tell the child that he was a helpful ghost, etc, but thanks for reading and for your good wishes.
Comment from Heather Knight
This would make a lovely children's book just by adding some illustrations. Or a great tool for a story-telling session.
I still remember watching Casper when the kids were little. I loved that film!
I think your story is great because it uses language that children can easily understand, has a moral, but is not preachy (according to experts children and young adults hate that, they are more intelligent than we realise).
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This would make a lovely children's book just by adding some illustrations. Or a great tool for a story-telling session.
I still remember watching Casper when the kids were little. I loved that film!
I think your story is great because it uses language that children can easily understand, has a moral, but is not preachy (according to experts children and young adults hate that, they are more intelligent than we realise).
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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thanks, Heather, for your lovely comments and for the 6. I love to write for children. Most times, it wouldn't hurt if adults learned from them, too. :)
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I love to read and write children?s books. A couple of years ago, I discovered verse novels and now they?re my favorite genre. They usually deal with very interesting topics but aren?t for tiny kids. Middle grade and young adults, mostly.
You?re right. We can learn a lot from kids and we should.
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good for you! I love to write in verse. I do it so much, sometimes I think in verse - which is fun.
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I can?t rhyme! At all. These little novels are written in free verse, which is the only kind of poetry I dare write. I?ll answer your other comment tonight or tomorrow. I?m on my phone now and I prefer writing at my desk.
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BTW, I wish I could think in verse.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Aww, I loved this! You write simply enough for children to enjoy the story, but with enough undertone and relatability, it works for any age. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
Spag note:
'One day Jasper was flying, invisibly, beside a little boy, named Jude, who was on his bike, headed home.' - I think the commas need redistributing in this sentences. I'd suggest something like: 'One day, Jasper was flying - invisibly - beside a little boy named Jude, who was on his bike, headed home.'
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Aww, I loved this! You write simply enough for children to enjoy the story, but with enough undertone and relatability, it works for any age. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
Spag note:
'One day Jasper was flying, invisibly, beside a little boy, named Jude, who was on his bike, headed home.' - I think the commas need redistributing in this sentences. I'd suggest something like: 'One day, Jasper was flying - invisibly - beside a little boy named Jude, who was on his bike, headed home.'
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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thanks, Mike.
Your version does read better and I may change it, but one time when I used dashes, or whatever they're called, in a situation like this, I was told to use commas. There ARE a lot of commas in that sentence.
However, many thanks for your very nice comments. They are much appreciated.
Katharine
Comment from lyenochka
This is such a cute story! And it's perfect for kids because it shows we can be kind even when someone has been unkind to us and that can develop into lasting friendships! Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This is such a cute story! And it's perfect for kids because it shows we can be kind even when someone has been unkind to us and that can develop into lasting friendships! Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Helen.
I love writing for kids and sometimes, we parents can learn something from the stories, too :)
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is an excellent cautionary tale that will appeal to children. The vocabulary is suitable for youngsters, and the amount of action is well-adjusted to the length. Kate xx
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This is an excellent cautionary tale that will appeal to children. The vocabulary is suitable for youngsters, and the amount of action is well-adjusted to the length. Kate xx
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Kate! You really know how to get a lot said, succinctly! And very nice things, indeed! I really appreciate them.
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