Prelude to First Date
A father hates to see his daughter start dating.20 total reviews
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
Kudos to Mom for the sly diversion. Charming story--I've read the three chapters in reverse order, but my enjoyment was not in the least diminished! Cheers. LIZ
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Kudos to Mom for the sly diversion. Charming story--I've read the three chapters in reverse order, but my enjoyment was not in the least diminished! Cheers. LIZ
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 27-Jun-2022
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Thank you Elizabeth. I appreciate the review no matter which way you read them. It was the first time I'd written enough scrips to rated as a script writer.
Beth
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I had to come and read the prelude. How many fathers are like that? Mine actually took me to the cinema and waited until we'd gone in, before he left. And, he was right there when we came out at the finish of the film. Dads can be so possessive. Lol. Now going to read the next part. I enjoyed this part. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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I had to come and read the prelude. How many fathers are like that? Mine actually took me to the cinema and waited until we'd gone in, before he left. And, he was right there when we came out at the finish of the film. Dads can be so possessive. Lol. Now going to read the next part. I enjoyed this part. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you Sandra, I found out from the reviews, there were other fathers like mine. My mom was on my side. Unfortunately, I haven't learned to write fiction. LOL
Beth
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
This Humour script has a very grave issue, fact, cause, concern of filial love, affection, fatherly decisiveness about romance and dating, and moreover action and reaction, characters are so realistic with descriptive dramatic progression; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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This Humour script has a very grave issue, fact, cause, concern of filial love, affection, fatherly decisiveness about romance and dating, and moreover action and reaction, characters are so realistic with descriptive dramatic progression; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 23-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the review and comments. I continue to appreciate your input.
Beth
Comment from Spitfire
A great start. You open up with an external conflict between daughter and father. You cleverly fit in the date's background. Mother's shrewd move about the cows show her to be daughter's best supporter.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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A great start. You open up with an external conflict between daughter and father. You cleverly fit in the date's background. Mother's shrewd move about the cows show her to be daughter's best supporter.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the review and comments. I intended this to be a one time piece for the contest but people seem to think I should add more. I guess the the second one before the first. It pretty close to what my first day was like.
Beth
Comment from lyenochka
Lol! I think I recognize you and Evan and your parents in this scene! That was really smart of your mom and you to leave just then! Best wishes in the contest!
Comments:
asked if I'd go out with him? (probably a period not a question mark)
No but it's almost two o'clock. (No,)
notices Lucy holding a brush. (Betsy? was holding the brush, right?)
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Lol! I think I recognize you and Evan and your parents in this scene! That was really smart of your mom and you to leave just then! Best wishes in the contest!
Comments:
asked if I'd go out with him? (probably a period not a question mark)
No but it's almost two o'clock. (No,)
notices Lucy holding a brush. (Betsy? was holding the brush, right?)
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Thank you Helen, It was pretty close but my mom didn't lie to get dad out of the house. He did go to the back pasture, but I think it was because he dreaded having to confront my date like he'd threatened to do. Than for seeing the spags.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a fun scene of first dates with the suspicious dad doubting anyone would be worthy or trustworthy to take his daughter out. Dad is right, of course.
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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This is a fun scene of first dates with the suspicious dad doubting anyone would be worthy or trustworthy to take his daughter out. Dad is right, of course.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Thank you Bill. If Dad had his way daughter would never date.
Beth
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
You did a great job with your contest entry, Beth.
Your script looks and reads great. The set instructions
are clear, the characters are believable for the time
period, and the mother was wise. Your words are
descriptive and create great imagery. The image is
perfect, too.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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You did a great job with your contest entry, Beth.
Your script looks and reads great. The set instructions
are clear, the characters are believable for the time
period, and the mother was wise. Your words are
descriptive and create great imagery. The image is
perfect, too.
Best wishes in the contest, Jan
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Thank you Jan, I appreciate the review and comments.
Beth
Comment from Gert sherwood
A father hates to see his daughter start dating.
Prelude to First Date
BethShelby
I smile of how you described how you met you first date.
I thought it was a bit to long, but I did enjoy reading what took place on your first date I will be waiting for next post.
Gert
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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A father hates to see his daughter start dating.
Prelude to First Date
BethShelby
I smile of how you described how you met you first date.
I thought it was a bit to long, but I did enjoy reading what took place on your first date I will be waiting for next post.
Gert
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022
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Thank you Gert. I'm sorry if it was a bit long. Have all those name tags and descriptions makes it see longer. I'm appreciate the review.
Beth
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Beth
You are most welcome
Gert
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nicely written. Good dialogue.
She not an idiot. - (She's) not an idiot.
Not sure lying to George is such a good plan.
Good luck in the contest, even though it's technically not a date. (yet)
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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Nicely written. Good dialogue.
She not an idiot. - (She's) not an idiot.
Not sure lying to George is such a good plan.
Good luck in the contest, even though it's technically not a date. (yet)
Best wishes.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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Thank you Wayne, It is never a good idea to lie. Thank you for catching that spag.
Beth
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is a good prelude to a first date, Beth, especially for the time period. You've done a good job of introducing your characters and creating enough interest for us to want to know more. Good luck in the contest.
I did catch a few minor spags: "She not a(an) idiot."
"He wrote her (a) long letter."
"He(He's) planning to get a job in Jackson."
"If we're going to make (it) to the movie in time..."
"Matt holds the door for Betsy and the two of (them) exit to right."
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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This is a good prelude to a first date, Beth, especially for the time period. You've done a good job of introducing your characters and creating enough interest for us to want to know more. Good luck in the contest.
I did catch a few minor spags: "She not a(an) idiot."
"He wrote her (a) long letter."
"He(He's) planning to get a job in Jackson."
"If we're going to make (it) to the movie in time..."
"Matt holds the door for Betsy and the two of (them) exit to right."
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 21-Jun-2022
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Thank you Judy. I appreciate the review and comments and all the help you've given me with spag. I would like to nominate you for a great reviewer but I have this month.
Beth
