After The End
a new beginning?28 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I missed this one. What a clever, well written story, Gareth. You tease us with your words and let our own minds fill in the blanks. I'm not going to write what I understand this young man to be about, just that he does seem to have put some hope into Father Black's heart. That's all we need to start believing again. Great writing, of course, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I missed this one. What a clever, well written story, Gareth. You tease us with your words and let our own minds fill in the blanks. I'm not going to write what I understand this young man to be about, just that he does seem to have put some hope into Father Black's heart. That's all we need to start believing again. Great writing, of course, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Well done. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 27-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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It's intentionally a little ambiguous. Sometimes I like to see what folk think. lol Many thanks, Sandra.
Comment from Terry Broxson
An interesting fiction. I love the dialogue. I like the creative way you let the readers fill in for themselves some of what is happening, very well done. Check the paragraph "The young smiled again" next to the last sentence, "He gave you lot" I think you mean "your" lot. Excellent work. Terry.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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An interesting fiction. I love the dialogue. I like the creative way you let the readers fill in for themselves some of what is happening, very well done. Check the paragraph "The young smiled again" next to the last sentence, "He gave you lot" I think you mean "your" lot. Excellent work. Terry.
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks Terry. G
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This piece is of course well written and as usual some of the best this site has to offer. It is thought-provoking and thoroughly entertaining and a joy to read. Father Black is like so many of us, lost in a world where doubt reins the day. I knew the ending would be something like that. Where Black ends up alone with his thoughts. This is deep, and all its readers will ponder it and remember it long after they are done reading it.
Thank you for this treat for the mind and soul.
Jesse
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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This piece is of course well written and as usual some of the best this site has to offer. It is thought-provoking and thoroughly entertaining and a joy to read. Father Black is like so many of us, lost in a world where doubt reins the day. I knew the ending would be something like that. Where Black ends up alone with his thoughts. This is deep, and all its readers will ponder it and remember it long after they are done reading it.
Thank you for this treat for the mind and soul.
Jesse
Comment Written 24-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks for the thoughtful read and response, Jesse. Very much appreciated. G
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You're welcome, G. I meant every word of it...sincerely.
Have a fun weekend,
Jesse
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
This is a really well-written and interesting story. Every time a little information is given, there are more questions that arrive to make me wonder. I can't decide if it is religious or supernatural or what, but it's good.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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This is a really well-written and interesting story. Every time a little information is given, there are more questions that arrive to make me wonder. I can't decide if it is religious or supernatural or what, but it's good.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, Carol. It's a little ambiguous intentionally. G
Comment from Fleedleflump
I do enjoy these sorts of scenes - where the writer trusts the reader to decide what's happening and doesn't feel the need to explain every detail. Loved the heavy descriptions early on, earthing Father Black by describing his physical connection to the world, giving us contrast with the young man who makes no sound.
Also enjoyed the subtle clue at the end, when the stranger became a young-looking man.
I thought this was brilliant :-).
Mike
Spags and thoughts:
'Father Black stared at the man seated beside him. Confusion writ large on his face.' - if we're in Father Black's PoV (which I believe we are) then this feels like an external description of him. Would it be better for him to internally acknowledge his confusion?
'Fickle even on occasion.' - I'd be inclined to put a comma after 'even'
'He cleared his throat, "And what' - as it's an action rather than a speech tag, I'd be inclined to a full stop instead of the comma.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I do enjoy these sorts of scenes - where the writer trusts the reader to decide what's happening and doesn't feel the need to explain every detail. Loved the heavy descriptions early on, earthing Father Black by describing his physical connection to the world, giving us contrast with the young man who makes no sound.
Also enjoyed the subtle clue at the end, when the stranger became a young-looking man.
I thought this was brilliant :-).
Mike
Spags and thoughts:
'Father Black stared at the man seated beside him. Confusion writ large on his face.' - if we're in Father Black's PoV (which I believe we are) then this feels like an external description of him. Would it be better for him to internally acknowledge his confusion?
'Fickle even on occasion.' - I'd be inclined to put a comma after 'even'
'He cleared his throat, "And what' - as it's an action rather than a speech tag, I'd be inclined to a full stop instead of the comma.
Comment Written 23-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, Mike, another great and thoughtful review. G
Comment from Pearl Edwards
A great story, well told, G. You had me alongside Father Black all the time, wondering, as he did, what will happen next. Why was he there in that church. One thing ends and another begins. Enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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A great story, well told, G. You had me alongside Father Black all the time, wondering, as he did, what will happen next. Why was he there in that church. One thing ends and another begins. Enjoyed it,
cheers,
valda
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks, as always. G
Comment from Spitfire
Once again, your word choice and images conjure up an empty world devoid of spirituality (examples: dim interior, dropping temperature, dull paint and layer of dust on the statue of Mary) Thought provoking conversation between the priest and Satan. The idea of God taking his toys and going home is jarring. Father Black--a last name that reinforces emptiness and doubts in his mind.
A perceptive story suitable for the world today.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Once again, your word choice and images conjure up an empty world devoid of spirituality (examples: dim interior, dropping temperature, dull paint and layer of dust on the statue of Mary) Thought provoking conversation between the priest and Satan. The idea of God taking his toys and going home is jarring. Father Black--a last name that reinforces emptiness and doubts in his mind.
A perceptive story suitable for the world today.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks for the careful and intuitive read. G
Comment from LJbutterfly
The end of the story expresses the message. Believers are to "Spread the Word." Your creative title, "After the End," tells us when the story takes place and what the story is about. Father Black, a doubting priest, was left behind. I enjoyed the delicate way you described Father Black's actions so we could see and feel his uncertainty. I enjoyed that you let me into the scene.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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The end of the story expresses the message. Believers are to "Spread the Word." Your creative title, "After the End," tells us when the story takes place and what the story is about. Father Black, a doubting priest, was left behind. I enjoyed the delicate way you described Father Black's actions so we could see and feel his uncertainty. I enjoyed that you let me into the scene.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Many thanks for the great response. G
Comment from tfawcus
I enjoy the way you tantalise with glimpses, leaving it to your reader to create his own meaning from the inexplicit and unspoken. The main character is well-drawn and the dialogue between him and the unidentified younger man finely tuned. This, as with so much of your writing, is a story that invites several rereadings.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I enjoy the way you tantalise with glimpses, leaving it to your reader to create his own meaning from the inexplicit and unspoken. The main character is well-drawn and the dialogue between him and the unidentified younger man finely tuned. This, as with so much of your writing, is a story that invites several rereadings.
Comment Written 22-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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I do like to make folk think. I'm not a fan of dumbing down. Not to everyone's taste I know but it keeps me happy! lol Many thanks, Tony. G
Comment from Ric Myworld
As always, the writing is outstanding and of the kind that puts us to thinking, or maybe wondering is a better word. But thinking or wondering is a good place to start. Wish I had a six. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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As always, the writing is outstanding and of the kind that puts us to thinking, or maybe wondering is a better word. But thinking or wondering is a good place to start. Wish I had a six. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 21-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022
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Always appreciated, Ric. Cheers G
