Chasing Gnomes
Viewing comments for Chapter 3 "Chasing Gnomes Ch.3 - Cuppage"Dragon Dance Chronicles Book 1
16 total reviews
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Poor girl, tough like a sharpener and the boo-ho-ho of the taverns:) I like how you describe her surroundings and also the fact that she is out of resources, but hey doesn't matter luck will put her back on track. "
And it was home. At least, it had been for a couple of years. I'm not 'Rozlyn of Pennylast' or anything like that, but this place has served me well. There's always a merchant coming or going with a vulnerable wagon in need of protection or theft, or a scheming lady seeking fun or revenge. It's that kind of neighborhood - if you're not dead, you're a player. And if you're not playing, you're as much use to this town as a sandcastle gatehouse.:
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Poor girl, tough like a sharpener and the boo-ho-ho of the taverns:) I like how you describe her surroundings and also the fact that she is out of resources, but hey doesn't matter luck will put her back on track. "
And it was home. At least, it had been for a couple of years. I'm not 'Rozlyn of Pennylast' or anything like that, but this place has served me well. There's always a merchant coming or going with a vulnerable wagon in need of protection or theft, or a scheming lady seeking fun or revenge. It's that kind of neighborhood - if you're not dead, you're a player. And if you're not playing, you're as much use to this town as a sandcastle gatehouse.:
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much, Iza :-). I'm so happy you like this chapter. Rozlyn's luck definitely needs to change!
Mike
Comment from MissMerri
I wavered a bit in making my decision, since usually I reserve six stars for something with depth of meaning, but your writing is SO good and the humor you include tipped the scale from a five-plus to a six. It doesn't hurt that there is not a single typo in the whole piece either. Most people miss something, but evidently you did not. As for depth, this is evidently not intended to be deeply meaningful, but taken as a whole, might actually prove to be. I can't tell yet. So... six stars for excellent writing and editing and delightful humor, which I sincerely appreciate when I find it. ~ MM
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I wavered a bit in making my decision, since usually I reserve six stars for something with depth of meaning, but your writing is SO good and the humor you include tipped the scale from a five-plus to a six. It doesn't hurt that there is not a single typo in the whole piece either. Most people miss something, but evidently you did not. As for depth, this is evidently not intended to be deeply meaningful, but taken as a whole, might actually prove to be. I can't tell yet. So... six stars for excellent writing and editing and delightful humor, which I sincerely appreciate when I find it. ~ MM
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, my friend, for the vote of confidence and for telling me how much you enjoyed it :-). I do think comedy can create greater pathos than drama, if done well, and that gives opportunity for depth. I'm not going to promise anything, of course - my primary goal is to entertain - but I always look for meaning in everything I write.
Mike
Comment from papa55mike
I believe I've been in a couple of bars like that in my younger days. Things you don't forget. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I believe I've been in a couple of bars like that in my younger days. Things you don't forget. What a wonderfully written chapter. Best of luck with your book!
Have a great day, and God bless.
mike
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thanks for the great review, Mike :-). It's a lot of fun to write so I'm glad it is to read too.
Mike
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This is fantastic. Rozlyn's conversation with Benchmark is a feat of genius, and the idea of barbed wire toilet roll is a wonderful parting shot. I think you are at your peak with this book. Kate xx
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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This is fantastic. Rozlyn's conversation with Benchmark is a feat of genius, and the idea of barbed wire toilet roll is a wonderful parting shot. I think you are at your peak with this book. Kate xx
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much, Kate :-). I'm thrilled you enjoyed this chapter. It's such fun to write!
Mike
Comment from AnnieDawn
This really is a fun off the wall chapter to read although I almost skipped it after the first sentence. What threw me was a friend meeting a friend and throwing up in his face? That was a bit much. Could that be changed? The rest of the chapter was fun.
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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This really is a fun off the wall chapter to read although I almost skipped it after the first sentence. What threw me was a friend meeting a friend and throwing up in his face? That was a bit much. Could that be changed? The rest of the chapter was fun.
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Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Annie :-). And there I was, thinking it would be the barbed wire toilet roll that upset people! Thanks so much for the review and encouragement. I'll have a think about the opening paragraph - see whether there's a gentler way to ease readers into it.
Mike
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Nice work.
"Pay me when you collect your armour, or I'm keeping it as collateral. - closing quotes
it was a wretched hive of scum and villi- It was a hub of markets, - lower case 'It'
continuing to hide regardless. - maybe just me, but I feel like this phrase could use a comma after 'hide'
Best wishes.
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reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Nice work.
"Pay me when you collect your armour, or I'm keeping it as collateral. - closing quotes
it was a wretched hive of scum and villi- It was a hub of markets, - lower case 'It'
continuing to hide regardless. - maybe just me, but I feel like this phrase could use a comma after 'hide'
Best wishes.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 20-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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Thanks so much, Wayne - it doesn't matter how many times I comb through, I'm always blind to a couple of punctuation nits!
Mike
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Same here ... and worse!
