Nightmare
a seventy-five-word story24 total reviews
Comment from Regina Elliott
Oh gosh, what a sad flash
fiction story with a cliffhanger. You crafted this
quite well, Bill. I think I recall
it won the contest. My
congratulations to you. Have
a creative week. Blessings
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Oh gosh, what a sad flash
fiction story with a cliffhanger. You crafted this
quite well, Bill. I think I recall
it won the contest. My
congratulations to you. Have
a creative week. Blessings
Comment Written 29-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 29-Aug-2022
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Thanks, Regina, for giving this a look.
Comment from dragonpoet
Bill,
These few words give a strong image of the guilt and loneliness of this man show seems to be the sole survivor of a car accident that took the rest of his family. It is so sad. He will need a lot of help to get through this.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Bill,
These few words give a strong image of the guilt and loneliness of this man show seems to be the sole survivor of a car accident that took the rest of his family. It is so sad. He will need a lot of help to get through this.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 16-Aug-2022
reply by the author on 16-Aug-2022
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Thank you, Joan.
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No problem, Bill.
Joan
Comment from kahpot
Very well written, it must be scary when one finally wakes and the reality of what has happened sinks in, an excellent read, and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Very well written, it must be scary when one finally wakes and the reality of what has happened sinks in, an excellent read, and best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thanks, kahpot.
Comment from judiverse
Good job of keeping in the present tense throughout. You succeed in presenting a poignant story in this flash fiction entry. "Alone" seems to be the key word. We can only speculate on what happened, but it would seem that the wife and children are dead, and under tragic circumstances. He thinks of hugs and kisses in his dream, but in real life it is too late. Very compelling, and best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Good job of keeping in the present tense throughout. You succeed in presenting a poignant story in this flash fiction entry. "Alone" seems to be the key word. We can only speculate on what happened, but it would seem that the wife and children are dead, and under tragic circumstances. He thinks of hugs and kisses in his dream, but in real life it is too late. Very compelling, and best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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The reviewing is about fifty/fifty that readers see the tragedy in his waking alone. Some even saw the story as humorous. I see the awakening as the beginning of the nightmare.
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You surely engaged the readers if they had different takes on the story. judi
Comment from Ric Myworld
This piece really hits home with me, having woke up to the reality of, "surprise," you're in the hospital, twice. But I guess, it sure beats the alternative. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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This piece really hits home with me, having woke up to the reality of, "surprise," you're in the hospital, twice. But I guess, it sure beats the alternative. LOL. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 19-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 19-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Ric.
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
This is a scary write and if we are ever hospitalised we know what this feeling is like and in the end we battle illness all by ourselves and I have been there and it is not nice, a poignant write Bill, you are forever uncovering our emotions, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This is a scary write and if we are ever hospitalised we know what this feeling is like and in the end we battle illness all by ourselves and I have been there and it is not nice, a poignant write Bill, you are forever uncovering our emotions, love Dolly x
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Dolly.
Comment from lancellot
Hmm, you have a very interesting story concept. I wonder if this isn't more of someone narrating to the readers, rather than showing us and interacting with us.
Like I said the concept of being the lone survivor of a house fire is good. It will touch many and may carry the day.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Hmm, you have a very interesting story concept. I wonder if this isn't more of someone narrating to the readers, rather than showing us and interacting with us.
Like I said the concept of being the lone survivor of a house fire is good. It will touch many and may carry the day.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Seventy-five words.
Comment from Sally Law
Fantastic offering in flash fiction. Gripping and compelling all the way to the horrid end. A winner, I see. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
In the bag,
Sal :))
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Fantastic offering in flash fiction. Gripping and compelling all the way to the horrid end. A winner, I see. Sending you my best today as always and best wishes for the upcoming contest.
In the bag,
Sal :))
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Sal.
Comment from LJbutterfly
This is a great seventy-five word flash story, but it's sad when you wake up from a nightmare and find that reality is another nightmare. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This is a great seventy-five word flash story, but it's sad when you wake up from a nightmare and find that reality is another nightmare. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thanks, LJ
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Thanks, LJ
Comment from Mary Vigasin
This short story gives an emotional punch. You show hector's dream nightmare of pain and fire and reaching for his family and the next nightmare, he wakes up alone.
Brilliantly done.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes
Mary
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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This short story gives an emotional punch. You show hector's dream nightmare of pain and fire and reaching for his family and the next nightmare, he wakes up alone.
Brilliantly done.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes
Mary
Comment Written 18-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 18-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Mary