haiku - paradise
a haiku17 total reviews
Comment from Mark D. R.
Bill,
You created a good combo with your artwork and verse. I too use Cleo's artwork for many of my FS posts.
Of course, I like your alliterative flourishes.
Mark
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
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Bill,
You created a good combo with your artwork and verse. I too use Cleo's artwork for many of my FS posts.
Of course, I like your alliterative flourishes.
Mark
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Mark
Comment from kahpot
These words and artwork certainly provide a wonderful image (wish I was there) it looks so serene, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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These words and artwork certainly provide a wonderful image (wish I was there) it looks so serene, very well written and presented, best wishes for your contest****kahpot
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thank you, kahpot
Comment from judiverse
Great use of alliteration in this--"Warm waters wash" and "palms and palmettos. This gives a lovely image. I'm kind of stuck about the word "onto." It seems awkward at the end of the line. The picture really sets the mood. Best of luck in the contest. judi
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Great use of alliteration in this--"Warm waters wash" and "palms and palmettos. This gives a lovely image. I'm kind of stuck about the word "onto." It seems awkward at the end of the line. The picture really sets the mood. Best of luck in the contest. judi
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Didn't like it either, but not enough to change it.
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Try to come up with a descriptive word. judi
Comment from Pam (respa)
-Nice image and presentation, Bill.
-A well written haiku with effective
nature and seasonal imagery.
-I like the satori line in the beginning,
followed by the images of the water and trees.
-Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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-Nice image and presentation, Bill.
-A well written haiku with effective
nature and seasonal imagery.
-I like the satori line in the beginning,
followed by the images of the water and trees.
-Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Pam.
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You are welcome, Bill.
Comment from Wendy G
Nice one. Very summery feel. Excellent use of alliteration in the second and third lines. Do you need another syllable in the middle line? Or is this a different type of Haiku? Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Nice one. Very summery feel. Excellent use of alliteration in the second and third lines. Do you need another syllable in the middle line? Or is this a different type of Haiku? Best wishes for your entry in the contest.
Wendy
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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The challenge notes that the syllable count is not absolute. : )
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
Tropical islands are in our dreams, specially in winter when we need a warm blanket around us. Your words created a warm and ambient atmospheric, much enjoyed Bill, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Tropical islands are in our dreams, specially in winter when we need a warm blanket around us. Your words created a warm and ambient atmospheric, much enjoyed Bill, love Dolly x
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Dolly
Comment from Gert sherwood
Scott your haiku - paradise
now that would be paradise where you can lay around and feel
warm waters wash onto you. Best to you in the contest
Gert
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Scott your haiku - paradise
now that would be paradise where you can lay around and feel
warm waters wash onto you. Best to you in the contest
Gert
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Gert
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You are most welcome Bill
Gert
Comment from Mary Vigasin
A wonderful image to give your reader. The name is appropriate, warm waters, palms is truly paradise. I truly enjoyed your haiku.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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A wonderful image to give your reader. The name is appropriate, warm waters, palms is truly paradise. I truly enjoyed your haiku.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Mary.
Comment from Spitfire
"Good work with creating a mental image. excellent use of alliteration with lines two and three. The picture complements this well. The trees look as if they are waving hello.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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"Good work with creating a mental image. excellent use of alliteration with lines two and three. The picture complements this well. The trees look as if they are waving hello.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks, Shari
Comment from Verna Cole Mitchell
Lovely poem illustrated beautifully with Cleo's art. I enjoyed, not only your imagery, but also your use of alliteration. This is a haiku worth remembering. I hope it does well in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Lovely poem illustrated beautifully with Cleo's art. I enjoyed, not only your imagery, but also your use of alliteration. This is a haiku worth remembering. I hope it does well in the contest.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Verna
