Mystery in a Candy Dish.
I never imagined.......27 total reviews
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
What a clever boy, he'll go far! Lol. There has to be a moral there somewhere, not sure what, though! This is just precious, and it will be sure to do well in the contest. Well done, and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
What a clever boy, he'll go far! Lol. There has to be a moral there somewhere, not sure what, though! This is just precious, and it will be sure to do well in the contest. Well done, and good luck! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Sandra, for the stars and comments. That little boy, who is my son, grew up to be a firefighter.
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There you go, he did go far!! Bless him. xx
Comment from John Ciarmello
Ha! that sounds like a typical solution to satisfy a greed attack of a young person. This was an honest and refreshing read. I loved it! I hope in your story you got your jellybeans, lol.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
Ha! that sounds like a typical solution to satisfy a greed attack of a young person. This was an honest and refreshing read. I loved it! I hope in your story you got your jellybeans, lol.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you for your review and all the stars.
Yes, I did get my jellybeans because I only used up half a bag when I filled the dish.
Comment from Fleedleflump
Ick! So you're left with a rainbow coloured, medley-flavoured ball of sugary chaos! I love that you presented and solved a mystery within 75 words, and made me smile at the same time. I very much enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
Ick! So you're left with a rainbow coloured, medley-flavoured ball of sugary chaos! I love that you presented and solved a mystery within 75 words, and made me smile at the same time. I very much enjoyed the read :-)
Mike
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much. I enjoyed your comments.
Comment from JoannaN
This flash fiction is funny. Children have truly quirky ideas :). The structure is well-organized, with one paragraph for setup, and one for resolution.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
This flash fiction is funny. Children have truly quirky ideas :). The structure is well-organized, with one paragraph for setup, and one for resolution.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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I want to thank you for this review. I appreciate knowing that it was well-organized. It took a lot of work to get it into its present state. More than one would ever expect for such a limited word count. Thank you once again.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Oh my, I could see this happening. Kids come up with all sorts of ideas. You have written a great humorous story. Thank you for sharing. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
Oh my, I could see this happening. Kids come up with all sorts of ideas. You have written a great humorous story. Thank you for sharing. Have a great day.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Carolyn, for your review and all the stars.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Dawn Munro
AaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is priceless -- yep, I can visualize the scene, and imagine it could truly happen. I have just one, very small suggestion -- "I went for (a) one..." -- incorrect grammatically. Instead, "I went for one..." = no "a". You will need to add a word somewhere else, however, to keep to the requirements for the contest. But this is a clever, enjoyable little story.
Best of luck in the contest!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
AaaaaaaaaaaaHAHAHAHAHA!!! This is priceless -- yep, I can visualize the scene, and imagine it could truly happen. I have just one, very small suggestion -- "I went for (a) one..." -- incorrect grammatically. Instead, "I went for one..." = no "a". You will need to add a word somewhere else, however, to keep to the requirements for the contest. But this is a clever, enjoyable little story.
Best of luck in the contest!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I don't know how I overlooked that 'a' in there. It is gone now, and I added a replacement word. Thank you for your review.
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You are most welcome. (It happens -- I've done the same. Good luck!)
Comment from Lisa Tepp
Ewww! Great job of getting a smile in so few words. Everything was to the point, enabling you to get a great, gross visual into the story as well. Bravo!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
Ewww! Great job of getting a smile in so few words. Everything was to the point, enabling you to get a great, gross visual into the story as well. Bravo!
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you for the review and all the stars--the comments too. By design, it had to be to the point. I guess that's a good thing.
Comment from royowen
Heh heh, I love that, licking one's sweeties so that no one else can partake of them sounds like a good idea, particularly since Covid, we are all a bit shy of being infected, beautifully written my friend, a great post, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
Heh heh, I love that, licking one's sweeties so that no one else can partake of them sounds like a good idea, particularly since Covid, we are all a bit shy of being infected, beautifully written my friend, a great post, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Roy. Coming from you, that is a high compliment.
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Bless you
Comment from Bridge
Ha! ha! Very smart of your son I must admit. My 13yr old son would love the idea but he is not fond of jelly beans. Very well written. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
Ha! ha! Very smart of your son I must admit. My 13yr old son would love the idea but he is not fond of jelly beans. Very well written. All the best to you in the contest.
With regards
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review and all the stars.
I think this tactic might work with chocolate, but don't tell your son.
Comment from Susan Newell
Are you sure this is fiction? :-) A terrific bit of flash and ultimately believable. I would suggest changing your description line so it doesn't reveal the story in advance. You could just say something like, "I never suspected," or anything else that doesn't solve the mystery.
Sue
I asked my young son why the jelly beans looked that way? -- not a question: a statement that should end with a period.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
Are you sure this is fiction? :-) A terrific bit of flash and ultimately believable. I would suggest changing your description line so it doesn't reveal the story in advance. You could just say something like, "I never suspected," or anything else that doesn't solve the mystery.
Sue
I asked my young son why the jelly beans looked that way? -- not a question: a statement that should end with a period.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Sue, so much for your review and especially for your comments.
This is a true story. My son was very selfish as a young person. I just didn't feel right about saying it was true when it was a fiction contest.
He is somewhat better now.
Thank you so much for your observations; they are both valid and helpful.
I' M GOING TO TRY TO NOMINATE YOU AS A REVIEWER.
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You are very welcome. Lots of people enter true stories in the flash fiction contests.