Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Sandra,

Nice work here once again. It's all moving on pretty well now as the plot develops.

be nice if they would stay for your sake.' Joshua grinned.

'You should see your face, Miles! - Personally, I'd have the second piece of dialogue following straight after grinned without the separation into a new paragraph. At first glance, it feels like a change in speaker.

 Comment Written 01-Jul-2022

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reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022

Thank you, Gareth, for another really nice review and suggestion. I've joined the two sentences. I had it as one paragraph to start, but was told it was too long, and it needed to be split. I've looked at other books, and really, I don't think it's any longer than most. Thanks for picking up on that one. I'm glad you still like the story, thanks, Gareth. Warm hugs, Sandra xx

reply by giraffmang on 01-Jul-2022

It's not longer, not by a long stretch. One of the issues on-site is that there's a lot of bad habits developed here and this is one of them. People are used to short pieces and splitting it up can work effectively for flash because you wouldn't use long pieces of dialogue to keep the plot moving.

Always go with your own instincts first.

reply by the author on 01-Jul-2022

Thanks for that. I will. I have learned a lot from Fanstory, and need to learn a lot more. I have a huge file in my MSWord files called 'Gareths helpful lessons.' It comes out a lot. Thanks for all these reviews, you're a great help. xx

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

treated very nasty by the lady named Gwendolyn. You can tell I love your story. When reading a person surely can get into the written plots. Best of luck with this story. It is a Dosey!

 Comment Written 22-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 22-Jun-2022

Aw, Rosemary, what a lovely thing to say, you've put the biggest smile on my face. Thank you so very much. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Sanku

Exceptional

You ended this with the nasty Gwen visiting Meg keeping us in more suspense .Miles character comes out strongly and Even Meg's .The way she apologised and asked the guests to stay making Miles proud of her. I liked the way you let the reader learn about it also....

 Comment Written 16-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 16-Jun-2022

Thank you so very much for this lovely review, Sanku, and the shiny star! I hope you didn't miss out on the payout? I'm so glad you enoyed this part. We are getting closer to finding answers to Margot and Bessie's questions. Stay tuned. :)) Warm hugs, my friend, Sandra xx

Comment from estory

Exceptional

I thought you did a great job with this chapter. I liked the scene at the beginning where Meg fixes the tense and explosive interchange with Lord Crawley, I think it shows her love for Miles and it legitimizes his love for her. You are also tying up some loose strings, giving Crawley the motivation for murdering Meg, and we now know when and how he will try to do it through the time travelling. And then you closed out the chapter with that tense interchange with Gwendollyn, and set us up for more suspense in that the brother is now dead and meg has more problems to deal with even as others get solved. estory

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022

Thank you so very much, estory, for this fabulous review! I'm delighted you enjoyed this chapter. Yes, more problems to sort out, as well as find the would-be-murderer. Thank you hugely for that lovely gold star, my friend, that is so kind of you!! Warm hugs, Sandra xxx

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Bravo! It never fails to amaze me how you manage to incorporate so many twists and tales to make every chapter even more interesting. I had felt some sympathy for Gwendolyn before she managed to get rid of her horrible husband, but now I'm not so sure. Is she still under suspicion for his murder after his dying words? I can't wait to find out!

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022

Thank you so much, my dear Alexis, for this fabulous review and the shining gold star! I think Gwendolyn rather enjoys being nasty after all she's been through. We could add her to the list of suspects! Hmm! Thanks, dear friend!! Love and hugs, Sandra xxx

Comment from Fleedleflump

Excellent

This is very well written, as I'm coming to expect. I enjoyed the dialogue, which carries enough character to know who's speaking at any given moment. It was always clear what's happening, too (not as easy as some people think!).

I very much enjoyed the read.

Mike

Spag notes:

'Bessie stood up, returning to the window and stared out across the garden.' - either needs a comma after 'window' or 'stared' needs to be 'staring'

'Please, sit, I'll call' - I feel like it should be a full stop after 'sit' rather than a comma.

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022

Thank you so much for this lovely review, Mike, and the pick-ups. I've put the comma after 'window' it felt natural there.
I looked at the second point, and decided it needed altering a little. This is how it reads:
?Lady Gwendolyn? This is an unexpected surprise. Please, won?t you sit and make yourself comfortable? I?ll call for refreshments.?

I'm not sure if I need a comma there now, or not. Thank you for this - it was really helpful. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra

Comment from l.raven

Exceptional

HI Sandra, I must say...Margot is starting to look pretty
impressive in Meg's body...and Miles is feeling the heat...

but I think Bessie is right...in the mean time...until Miles finds the parcel...
until the name of the would-be murderer is found, and the date Meg's murder took place, has passed...take no chances...so you and your ð??µ better get on the ball...
and find the killer...their counting on you two...

and it's good thing Margot didn't sip wine with Gwen...
not a healthy habit for anyone to get into...

BUT did she really have to come and tell Meg her brother passed...or was she just sticking it to Meg...she wasn't in the will...Margot was right...Gwen was just showing her true colors...

now let's see the hand that gets played next...what Miles
next move will be when he finds the parcel...you and your ð??µ have any ideas???...

your story gets better by each chapter my amazing friend...
this well be an awesome book you...I love reading it...it just needs to be longer...seems just as you get to a good part...you and your ð??µ stop writing...I love your story told beautiful you...Very well written...much love from over here...to over there...Linda xxoo ð???ð??¼ð?¤?ð???ð???ð??·ð???

 Comment Written 15-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022

Thank you so much, dear Linda! You're right about sipping wine with Gwendolyn, I think she is enjoying this murder lark with her butler. Lol. I might have to write another book about 'The Lady and the Butler' with Bessie as the detective!! YES!!! That will have to come after the next lot I've got lined up!! LOL. (I hope I live long enough to complete them all!!)

Thanks so much for your lovely review and the golden star, my dear friend, now to find out who Meg's murderer is in this story! Gwendolyn - Lord Brandon - Mr Crankston-Smythe, or the chimney sweep! Hmmm!
Love you to bits, my friend. Sending a humongous hug across the pond. xxxx Sandra xxx

reply by l.raven on 15-Jun-2022

hey...you never know my amazing friend...I wouldn't count on the chimney sweep...
but there's a big chance it could have been the butler...

I was trying to put your muses picture up...
and it works sometimes...and sometimes it doesn't...
where I wrote ...so you and your 🐵 better get on the ball...
and you and your 🐵 have any ideas...
and you and your 🐵 stop writing...

you beautiful girl are so very welcome...
ALWAYSSSSSSS...love forever...and ever and ever...💓🤗🌷💕🐵🥰🌼🙏 Linda xxoo

Comment from rspoet

Exceptional

Hello Sandra,
Yes, Margot/Meg came through the ordeal with flying colors. I wonder if Meg
would have been so adept at handling the situation.
Miles will be in for quite the surprise when he reads the letters in the package.
Bessie's plan seems like a good one. That should be an interesting scene.
And then there is Lady Gwendolyn, the secret murderer. Readers will assume she is the one, but my money is on Mr Cranky, he has the most to lose.
Another fine chapter in the Murder mystery story of Sandra Stoner-Christie- Mitchell.
Best wishes to all.
Robert

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022

I love my new name! 😊

It's funny how everyone is trying to guess who the murderer is! I'll let you into a secret, it's the chimney sweep!!! Don't tell Pam! LOL.
Thank you so much for another lovely review, Robert, and the sunny golden star! I always appreciate you, your support, and your fun reviews. Thanks, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear

Excellent

Realistic, outspoken, frank and daring taletelling, readers could not assume much; appealing and interesting; the thematic progression with plot development is naturally balanced; ending is curious; well said, well done, post god speed more, share post not 4 self-joy-pride but 4 God and readers worldwide Alcreator Litt Dear (DR)

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022

Thank you so much, Alcreator Litt Dear, for another lovely review and your continued support. I'm delighted that you are enjoying my story! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra

Comment from dmt1967

Excellent

This is another great chapter and I enjoyed reading it very much. I am glad Meg's brother got killed as he seemed a horrid man. Thank you for sharing and have a great week.

 Comment Written 14-Jun-2022

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reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022

Thank you, Jackie, I'm so pleased you enjoyed this part. I'm getting closer to finding out whodunnit!! Lol. Have a lovely day, my friend. Warm hugs, Sandra xx