Shy Young Love
Holding hands while walking in the park.12 total reviews
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
I see young lovers in the park regularly and I always smile and remember my own youth and wonderful it was to be in love and carefree, you captured the essence of it here Lisa, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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I see young lovers in the park regularly and I always smile and remember my own youth and wonderful it was to be in love and carefree, you captured the essence of it here Lisa, much enjoyed, love Dolly x
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks Dolly. I see them and feel envious.
Comment from LateBloomer
Hi Lisa, your poem is so endearing. I can feel the wonder of young love.
Good internal rhyming and alliteration. Well-chosen photo. Good luck. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Hi Lisa, your poem is so endearing. I can feel the wonder of young love.
Good internal rhyming and alliteration. Well-chosen photo. Good luck. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks. I see young love and feel envious.
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Those were the days, my friend.
Big-teeth smile. LateBloomer
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'... we thought they'd never end.'
Comment from Debbie Pope
This poem certainly fulfills the description of the ABC poem contest. It has the letter requirement, and it displays personal feeling. It has an interesting flow with the internal rhymes and internal punctuation. Having a period in the middle of a line makes the thoughts more real to me.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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This poem certainly fulfills the description of the ABC poem contest. It has the letter requirement, and it displays personal feeling. It has an interesting flow with the internal rhymes and internal punctuation. Having a period in the middle of a line makes the thoughts more real to me.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review feedback Debbie.
Comment from Jesse James Doty
Wow, I read this not even noticing that it was an ABC poem. It was engaging and romantic and all the things necessary for a great poem.
The flow was smooth and the rhymes worked well. The picture suits the piece and I bet you took it yourself, am I right?
Thanks for sharing this well-written poem.
Jesse
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Wow, I read this not even noticing that it was an ABC poem. It was engaging and romantic and all the things necessary for a great poem.
The flow was smooth and the rhymes worked well. The picture suits the piece and I bet you took it yourself, am I right?
Thanks for sharing this well-written poem.
Jesse
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review feedback Jesse.
Comment from Mary Vigasin
You capture that wonderment and excitement of that first "love." Cleverly written in the way you used the ABC requirement by rules, but also you avoided using the natural tendency to go off the top of the alphabet.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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You capture that wonderment and excitement of that first "love." Cleverly written in the way you used the ABC requirement by rules, but also you avoided using the natural tendency to go off the top of the alphabet.
Good luck in the contest.
Mary
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your review feedback Mary.
Comment from Pantygynt
In addition to the alphabetical element required by this contest, you have worked internal rhyme into the first four lines of your poem and alliteration on the 'W' into the the last line. Clever poetry.
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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In addition to the alphabetical element required by this contest, you have worked internal rhyme into the first four lines of your poem and alliteration on the 'W' into the the last line. Clever poetry.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reviewing!
Comment from Michele Harber
Nicely done ABC poem. You do an excellent job of "wrapping" your lines so they keep a certain rhythm, while allowing you to start the next line with the proper letter. Your mid-line rhymes are an excellent and differentiating touch.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Nicely done ABC poem. You do an excellent job of "wrapping" your lines so they keep a certain rhythm, while allowing you to start the next line with the proper letter. Your mid-line rhymes are an excellent and differentiating touch.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your comments. Is that wrapping called 'enjambment'?
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They're similar. Wrapping is visual. It literally just means that the line or sentence wraps around from one line to the next on the page. Wrapping is an automatic feature of word processors, and one that you did manually to suit your poem.
Comment from Wendy G
Very nice! Delicate and romantic, you've caught that young love perfectly (I must be a bit old too remember!) There's a sense of light, and anticipation and joy. Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Very nice! Delicate and romantic, you've caught that young love perfectly (I must be a bit old too remember!) There's a sense of light, and anticipation and joy. Best wishes for your entry!
Wendy
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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I'm too long in the tooth to remember also. I had to rely on imagination.
Comment from royowen
The best thing I can remember I can remember about young love, was the sheer heaviness of it, it was the next best thing to the purity of being touched by God, beautifully written, good luck, blessings, Roy
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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The best thing I can remember I can remember about young love, was the sheer heaviness of it, it was the next best thing to the purity of being touched by God, beautifully written, good luck, blessings, Roy
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Heaviness? Must be different for guys - it made me skip about lightly.
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I really meant headiness, my interpretive text thought different Jenny,
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Oh yes - that makes all the difference, not heavy at all.
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Yep
Comment from Whitewave
Lisa,
This is a clever use of the ABC format and just the right picture for shy young love, holding hands while walking through the park. Your verse, indeed, seems to whisper words of wonderment.
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Lisa,
This is a clever use of the ABC format and just the right picture for shy young love, holding hands while walking through the park. Your verse, indeed, seems to whisper words of wonderment.
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 11-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your positive words.
