Life's Work
A flash fiction contest entry.30 total reviews
Comment from Fleedleflump
It's a dangerous business, inventing things that will cost large companies billions in revenue :-). I loved the style of this - almost a summary, but with enough character details to engage and tell the whole tale within the tight confines of the contest. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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It's a dangerous business, inventing things that will cost large companies billions in revenue :-). I loved the style of this - almost a summary, but with enough character details to engage and tell the whole tale within the tight confines of the contest. I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Mike,
Thanks for the kind review. I agree with you that it borders on a summary and I worried about that. I glad you think it overcame that potential flaw. I always appreciate sound feedback from quality writers! Much appreciated.
C2
Comment from JoannaN
This Flash fiction is well crafted and gripping. It could even become a starting point for a longer story (a novel or a script). The character of Billy is well-described and the story is coherent and clear.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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This Flash fiction is well crafted and gripping. It could even become a starting point for a longer story (a novel or a script). The character of Billy is well-described and the story is coherent and clear.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Joanna,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for the generous review. Much appreciated!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Oh my, the so-called investor/partner murdered him. I see this is fiction, but probably happened many times. This is a great story. It seemed real. Thank you for sharing your story. Have a great day.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Oh my, the so-called investor/partner murdered him. I see this is fiction, but probably happened many times. This is a great story. It seemed real. Thank you for sharing your story. Have a great day.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Carolyn,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for your. kind review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from Shirley McLain
What a sad ending to your story, and unless you do something with this story, the killer will get away. You did a great job and I didn't see any errors. Have a great evening. Shirley
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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What a sad ending to your story, and unless you do something with this story, the killer will get away. You did a great job and I didn't see any errors. Have a great evening. Shirley
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Shirley,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for your kind review.
Comment from leather
Interesting story. I kept wondering why the police hadn't contacted Mrs, Smallwood and why Mrs. Smallwood didn't contact the police about the briefcase. This almost seems like it needs another 100 words to finish it off. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Interesting story. I kept wondering why the police hadn't contacted Mrs, Smallwood and why Mrs. Smallwood didn't contact the police about the briefcase. This almost seems like it needs another 100 words to finish it off. Best wishes.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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I assumed that the Mexican police were bought off by whoever was behind the murder. Also, in my mind (which I failed to establish in the writing) this took place in the late seventies which made it harder to communicate. Easily could have been a longer piece. I?m new to this flash fiction exercise and find almost everything I sit down to write for them turns into a bigger piece?which is fun but?thanks for the review and feedback! Always appreciated.
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Ah, yes. I have heard about the Mexican police--that must have been it.
I have tried three of these 'flash' pieces and they are not as easy as one might think.
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Ah, yes. I have heard about the Mexican police--that must have been it.
I have tried three of these 'flash' pieces and they are not as easy as one might think.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Murder at the blink of an invention, what a tragic way to say good bye to life. It's not funny to end up in bath tub and the injustice to be rolled out as suicide. Thank you for sharing nd good luck with your writings.
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Murder at the blink of an invention, what a tragic way to say good bye to life. It's not funny to end up in bath tub and the injustice to be rolled out as suicide. Thank you for sharing nd good luck with your writings.
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Iza,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for your kind review.
C2
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was exceptional, and I don't have a six left. You've written a whole story with a sad ending. Of course he didn't commit suicide, the man who was meeting him killed him and stole his plans! What a swizz! Well done, this is a great contest entry. Good luck! :)) Sandra
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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That was exceptional, and I don't have a six left. You've written a whole story with a sad ending. Of course he didn't commit suicide, the man who was meeting him killed him and stole his plans! What a swizz! Well done, this is a great contest entry. Good luck! :)) Sandra
Comment Written 13-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 14-Jun-2022
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Sandra,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for your kind review. So glad you enjoyed it.
C2
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
A wonderful flash!!! This is one of my favorite genres to both read and write. You were successful at building tension then releasing it in the last sentence, which is the key to a great flash.
Your writing is descriptive and concise leading the reader to the stories conclusion.
Flashes tend to read in an awkward way, this does not. Well done!
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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A wonderful flash!!! This is one of my favorite genres to both read and write. You were successful at building tension then releasing it in the last sentence, which is the key to a great flash.
Your writing is descriptive and concise leading the reader to the stories conclusion.
Flashes tend to read in an awkward way, this does not. Well done!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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K.L.,
Thank you for reading my little drama and for your kind review! Glad you enjoyed it!
Comment from Pam Lonsdale
Well, this story isn't far-fetched at all! You've done a great job, in a few words, of showing us who this man was - his passion and dreams - then yanking it away in your fine surprise of an ending. Great job!
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Well, this story isn't far-fetched at all! You've done a great job, in a few words, of showing us who this man was - his passion and dreams - then yanking it away in your fine surprise of an ending. Great job!
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reading my little drama Pam and for the kind review!
Comment from Wayne Fowler
Oh, what a shame. That was just awful!
Hah! Good story. Well written.
More realistic if he was found in a Texas Motel 6 after a meeting with oil company execs.
Best wishes.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Oh, what a shame. That was just awful!
Hah! Good story. Well written.
More realistic if he was found in a Texas Motel 6 after a meeting with oil company execs.
Best wishes.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Wayne,
Thanks for reading my little drama and for the kind review!
C2
