A Lifetime Together
a Senryu8 total reviews
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the. Write A Senryu writing prompt contest. It's very romantic. :)
Good syllables count and connection between lines with great presentation and imagery. It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Excellent entry for the. Write A Senryu writing prompt contest. It's very romantic. :)
Good syllables count and connection between lines with great presentation and imagery. It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear mental picture.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Many thanks, Gypsy, for sharing and praising my senyru. Rod
Comment from Bill Schott
This senryu, A Lifetime Together, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, finds the happy couple still making it work after half a century. So cool.
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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This senryu, A Lifetime Together, presented with a 5-7-5 formatting, finds the happy couple still making it work after half a century. So cool.
Comment Written 12-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 12-Jun-2022
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Thank you, Bill, for your kind praise of my senyru.
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello. Well done on developing a meaningful verse with such strict constraints. Your choice of artwork is spot on and helps the poem have even more depth. Good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Hello. Well done on developing a meaningful verse with such strict constraints. Your choice of artwork is spot on and helps the poem have even more depth. Good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thank you very much, Melissa, for sharing and praising my senyru.
Comment from Theodore McDowell
Great response to the writing prompt. I love the description--nestled 'gainst my shoulder. The description paints a very detailed and vivid picture. Well done.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Great response to the writing prompt. I love the description--nestled 'gainst my shoulder. The description paints a very detailed and vivid picture. Well done.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much, Theodore, for sharing and praising my senyru. I am delighted you like the description of the couple.
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a beautiful poem of an enduring, loving relationship. I love the graphic you selected it is perfect for your piece. I like that you made the font large and brown. I would suggest you change the word nestled (past tense) to nestles (present tense). She is still presently doing the same actions from 50 years ago. I would suggest also centering the text under such a large graphic. It's a lovely poem.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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This is a beautiful poem of an enduring, loving relationship. I love the graphic you selected it is perfect for your piece. I like that you made the font large and brown. I would suggest you change the word nestled (past tense) to nestles (present tense). She is still presently doing the same actions from 50 years ago. I would suggest also centering the text under such a large graphic. It's a lovely poem.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Sandra, I really appreciate your comments about my senyru, and especially your suggestion. While writing it, I wavered between present and past tense. I chose NESTLED because it puts the camera?s focus more on the Speaker than his wife. Somehow this makes it more poignant to me.
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Okay, I enjoyed it.
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent senryu for the contest
that many of the "older" members will relate to. :)
Fifty years and still young at heart.
Nicely done with wonderful picture choice too.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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This is an excellent senryu for the contest
that many of the "older" members will relate to. :)
Fifty years and still young at heart.
Nicely done with wonderful picture choice too.
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Thank you very much, Robert, for sharing and praising my senyru. It was written as a tribute to my wife who?s put up with me for 52 years.
Comment from LisaMay
This is a nicely heart-warming presentation of enduring love. The illustrations makes a beautiful accompaniment as the couple walk towards their evening together, just as their past has been together.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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This is a nicely heart-warming presentation of enduring love. The illustrations makes a beautiful accompaniment as the couple walk towards their evening together, just as their past has been together.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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Lisa, I truly appreciate your kind praise of my senyru. I wanted to pay tribute to the woman I have been married to for 52 years.
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I'm sure she appreciates you too.
Comment from jessizero
This is so sweet and lovely. It would be so nice if I had someone to lean on for fifty years. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem here, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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This is so sweet and lovely. It would be so nice if I had someone to lean on for fifty years. Thank you for sharing this beautiful poem here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 10-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 10-Jun-2022
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I truly appreciate your kudos, jessizero. I have been married 52 years and wanted to pay tribute to the wonderful woman in my life. Many thanks for sharing my senyru.
