Pioneers of My People
Viewing comments for Chapter 8 "Martin Pioneers In America"Vignettes of my ancestors who made me who I am.
16 total reviews
Comment from Theodore McDowell
I'm loving your exploration into your roots. It makes for interesting reading and you present it in a very straightforward and well-written manner. Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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I'm loving your exploration into your roots. It makes for interesting reading and you present it in a very straightforward and well-written manner. Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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That you so much for the review and comments. It is good to know that others beside my family find this interesting. I really appreciate the six stars.
Beth
Comment from Gert sherwood
BethShelby
your chapter Pioneers of My People of how you
Traced the maternal side of your husband's family.
I can see that you did do a bit of searching about your husband's family.
Kept my interest.
Gert
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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BethShelby
your chapter Pioneers of My People of how you
Traced the maternal side of your husband's family.
I can see that you did do a bit of searching about your husband's family.
Kept my interest.
Gert
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Gert. I appreciate your review and comments.
Beth
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BethShelby
You are most welcome
Gert
Comment from Iza Deleanu
Wow you have such a interesting family tree, I wish I knew where I am from and who knows since somedays I feel royalty maybe there is a Queen there hiding between the lines:). Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Wow you have such a interesting family tree, I wish I knew where I am from and who knows since somedays I feel royalty maybe there is a Queen there hiding between the lines:). Thank you for sharing and good luck with your writings
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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I think you're likely to find some royalty. I think we all have a little. Every American president claims royalty in their ancestry and they are no better than the rest of us. They've just dug around and found it.
Comment from jp88
Hello,
I enjoyed that read. It's interesting to read, a curious little tale to follow. And I generally like a bit of family history, regardless of whose family. Nicely succinct, not overly descriptive, with nice details and fleshed out with curious anecdotes. Lovely and engaging.
There are a few minor issues / typos detailed below. Remember though, a lot of this is subjective, so of course feel absolutely free to disregard anything I say :)
"in this country" - this is challenging, given that you haven't said which country we're in yet.
"was becoming of a very prosperous business" - do you mean "was becoming a very ..."
"There, he met he met the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner named Susannah Chiles, and they were soon married." - I would be careful with the phrasing here as that indicates the plantation owner was named Susannah.
"These were connections which would prove useful to the rambunctious Joseph." - I would avoid too much passive writing. How about "These connections would prove..."?
"Joseph, Sr. and Susannah had nine children." - I understand why, given that we'll hear about his younger son in the next sentence, but having never specified that he is Joseph Sr, it reads as if that suddenly is about his dad.
"Merle, born in 1901, and was the next to the youngest of five girls." - the "and" can be deleted. Also "next to the youngest"? Does that mean the second youngest?
"She was only thirty-one and Merle was five when she died." - you see, in the sentence above that you already say that the mother had died, so in this sentence, you don't need the "when she died" anymore because it's already clearly implied.
"The grandmother. Louisa Martin, held the family together." Is the period on purpose, or should it be a comma?
"makes up the DNA that runs through our veins." - alright, so I'm a biologist, which is why I struggle with that :). But I would recommend "makes up the DNA in every cell of our body" instead.
"Having decended from" I think "Descending from" would fit better?
"Sitll it is fun" - Typo?
"of what went before" - "of what went on before" perhaps?
"changes the potancy of our DNA" - from a scientific point of view, I'm not sure what you would mean here?
"DNA, It is an interesting" - should be "it" maybe?
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reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Hello,
I enjoyed that read. It's interesting to read, a curious little tale to follow. And I generally like a bit of family history, regardless of whose family. Nicely succinct, not overly descriptive, with nice details and fleshed out with curious anecdotes. Lovely and engaging.
There are a few minor issues / typos detailed below. Remember though, a lot of this is subjective, so of course feel absolutely free to disregard anything I say :)
"in this country" - this is challenging, given that you haven't said which country we're in yet.
"was becoming of a very prosperous business" - do you mean "was becoming a very ..."
"There, he met he met the daughter of a wealthy plantation owner named Susannah Chiles, and they were soon married." - I would be careful with the phrasing here as that indicates the plantation owner was named Susannah.
"These were connections which would prove useful to the rambunctious Joseph." - I would avoid too much passive writing. How about "These connections would prove..."?
"Joseph, Sr. and Susannah had nine children." - I understand why, given that we'll hear about his younger son in the next sentence, but having never specified that he is Joseph Sr, it reads as if that suddenly is about his dad.
"Merle, born in 1901, and was the next to the youngest of five girls." - the "and" can be deleted. Also "next to the youngest"? Does that mean the second youngest?
"She was only thirty-one and Merle was five when she died." - you see, in the sentence above that you already say that the mother had died, so in this sentence, you don't need the "when she died" anymore because it's already clearly implied.
"The grandmother. Louisa Martin, held the family together." Is the period on purpose, or should it be a comma?
"makes up the DNA that runs through our veins." - alright, so I'm a biologist, which is why I struggle with that :). But I would recommend "makes up the DNA in every cell of our body" instead.
"Having decended from" I think "Descending from" would fit better?
"Sitll it is fun" - Typo?
"of what went before" - "of what went on before" perhaps?
"changes the potancy of our DNA" - from a scientific point of view, I'm not sure what you would mean here?
"DNA, It is an interesting" - should be "it" maybe?
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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I really appreciate you taking the time to go over this and make suggestion that would make this read better. I think I corrected all that you mention except the last one and I wonder if you could suggest a better way of saying this. What I was hoping to say was for each generation we go back there are less cms across fewer segments of our DNA that show up. Can you suggest a better way to word that or should I just omit it.
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I'd be happy to brainstorm that with you, but are you sure they decrease over time? Why would they? As we become more globalised they would increase, I would guess? Plus the incorporations from attacks on our immune systems usually just increase the bases in our chromosomes.
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I just going by Ancestry.com The more generations back a cousin is their is less cms and over fewer segments of matching DNA meaning a fourth cousin is less related than a second cousin. I assumed that meant the DNA was less potent but I'm sure I didn't word it correctly.
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I'd agree that it would be less matching, but not really less centimorgans. It has nothing to do with potency of DNA per se, more "diversity" - it is that diversity that makes humans better adapted to life. It's one of the reasons why incest can become problematic, because once too much diversity is lost the likeliness of heritable diseases coming through increases.
So basically, the more diverse the more potent, if you want to think about it that way, because it confers resistances. Though in all honestly, you'd never describe DNA as potent.
Does that make sense?
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What if I said "Every generation we go back doubles the amount of lines and adds so much diversity to our DNA. By four generations back you have 64 different lines mixing in possible traits you might inherit.
Comment from Ric Myworld
Yes, it's kind of neat to learn about our ancestors, even those we probably wouldn't have liked much in the first place, but in the long haul, it the person we have become that matters most. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Yes, it's kind of neat to learn about our ancestors, even those we probably wouldn't have liked much in the first place, but in the long haul, it the person we have become that matters most. LOL. Thanks for sharing another fine chapter.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you Ric. I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have like that Englishman who thought no woman was high class enough for his son.
Beth
Comment from Lloyd T. Okoko
The objective correlative of your work reminisces the genealogy and pioneers of Martin in America.
The work highlights "their pompous ancestors as opposed to their down- to-earth living.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with a family history.
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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The objective correlative of your work reminisces the genealogy and pioneers of Martin in America.
The work highlights "their pompous ancestors as opposed to their down- to-earth living.
The work earns its texture through its effective use of anecdotes synonymous with a family history.
Excellent work. Bravo.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 08-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much for a great review and comments. I appreciate it.
Beth
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Remain Blessed.
