Dribbles And Drabbles
Viewing comments for Chapter 18 "Kahuna"A Collection Of Mini Stories
13 total reviews
Comment from Bill Schott
This seventy-five-word story, Kahuna, has the proper word count and captures the moment that Pam is reminded that there are sharks in the ocean. Mary already knows.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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This seventy-five-word story, Kahuna, has the proper word count and captures the moment that Pam is reminded that there are sharks in the ocean. Mary already knows.
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thsnks.
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
Excellent entry for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. It's pretty scary.
Good flash fiction about a mom get eaten by a shark....how scary.
It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear picture...
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid."-- Atticus
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Excellent entry for the 75 Word Story writing prompt contest. It's pretty scary.
Good flash fiction about a mom get eaten by a shark....how scary.
It flows well with descriptive words that paint a clear picture...
Good luck in the contest.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid."-- Atticus
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Mary should never have went swimming that day.
A couple of observations:
Last sentence: "dorsel" should be "dorsal"
2nd Para, 1st sentence: "awhile" should be "a while"
Frightening, but all too possible, tale.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Mary should never have went swimming that day.
A couple of observations:
Last sentence: "dorsel" should be "dorsal"
2nd Para, 1st sentence: "awhile" should be "a while"
Frightening, but all too possible, tale.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.. the catches and review.
Comment from Iza Deleanu
So did anybody died? I hope it was only a scare, oh, wait aloha was because you met a dolphin? Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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So did anybody died? I hope it was only a scare, oh, wait aloha was because you met a dolphin? Thank you for sharing and good luck with the contest and with your writings.
Comment Written 07-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from Wendy G
A very sad story but true to life. We have sharks off our coastline, and this sort of thing happens from time to time, although people generally realise very quickly because of screams and blood. Best wishes for your etry.
Wendy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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A very sad story but true to life. We have sharks off our coastline, and this sort of thing happens from time to time, although people generally realise very quickly because of screams and blood. Best wishes for your etry.
Wendy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from LisaMay
An idyllic visit to the beach to build sandcastles turns into a terror tale of a young mother being taken by a shark. Sharks terrify me, so your story is horrifying.
Maybe it could be classified as horror-thriller.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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An idyllic visit to the beach to build sandcastles turns into a terror tale of a young mother being taken by a shark. Sharks terrify me, so your story is horrifying.
Maybe it could be classified as horror-thriller.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Interesting short story but advise why titled Kahuna which is an island medicine man. Might be a little too late. You may have the why we're not privy to yet.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Interesting short story but advise why titled Kahuna which is an island medicine man. Might be a little too late. You may have the why we're not privy to yet.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Tuanks.
Comment from mermaids
It is very clear here what happened to Mary, she was lunch for a shark. Excellent story told in only 75 words. You create a clear picture of the beach and a feeling of terror comes forth at the end.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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It is very clear here what happened to Mary, she was lunch for a shark. Excellent story told in only 75 words. You create a clear picture of the beach and a feeling of terror comes forth at the end.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from LJbutterfly
You've done a fantastic job crafting a story in seventy-five words. The story begins by setting the scene, and building suspense from there. It leads to an end that is sad, but completes the story. Best wishes in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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You've done a fantastic job crafting a story in seventy-five words. The story begins by setting the scene, and building suspense from there. It leads to an end that is sad, but completes the story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks.
Comment from royowen
A great flash fiction, of course, in Australia that is too common, but this is a very good entry in this contest my friend, beautifully written a great ending in this post gives it an edge, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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A great flash fiction, of course, in Australia that is too common, but this is a very good entry in this contest my friend, beautifully written a great ending in this post gives it an edge, well done, good luck, blessings Roy
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Thanks... the review.
