Unravelled - the story of me
the unvarnished truth34 total reviews
Comment from C. Gale Burnett
I've been gone a bit going through some medical issues and this particular post was the first I chose to read. Autobiographies draw me in because there is usually something within another's life that I can relate to, learn from and/or gain strength from.
Your writing skill is exceptional in every way. As I read through, I feel a genuineness in you, the writer, along with hesitancy in sharing such intimate feelings. I believe writing an autobiographical story is harder than any other type writing that one could choose, in that you're exposing yourself and actually 'reliving' your past experiences, and that can mean in some cases re-facing some pretty difficult demons and traumas. In your young years, you've experienced more than many people will even have experienced in a lifetime.
The imagery in your sampling of opening paragraphs was awesome. If any of these were used to begin a book, I would have not put the book down but would have continued reading.
Congrats on your special recognition! Well deserved.
Gale
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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I've been gone a bit going through some medical issues and this particular post was the first I chose to read. Autobiographies draw me in because there is usually something within another's life that I can relate to, learn from and/or gain strength from.
Your writing skill is exceptional in every way. As I read through, I feel a genuineness in you, the writer, along with hesitancy in sharing such intimate feelings. I believe writing an autobiographical story is harder than any other type writing that one could choose, in that you're exposing yourself and actually 'reliving' your past experiences, and that can mean in some cases re-facing some pretty difficult demons and traumas. In your young years, you've experienced more than many people will even have experienced in a lifetime.
The imagery in your sampling of opening paragraphs was awesome. If any of these were used to begin a book, I would have not put the book down but would have continued reading.
Congrats on your special recognition! Well deserved.
Gale
Comment Written 01-Oct-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece. G
Comment from dragonpoet
Wow, what a varied life you've lived. I can't imagine living in Northern Ireland in so much terrorist activity. About the cult, I don't think I could ever start and maintain a cult, let alone be in one. It sounds like it has a good chance of being an interesting biography. It you are afraid of not being able to write it maybe you should have someone co write it with you. You did a good job with the synopsis.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Wow, what a varied life you've lived. I can't imagine living in Northern Ireland in so much terrorist activity. About the cult, I don't think I could ever start and maintain a cult, let alone be in one. It sounds like it has a good chance of being an interesting biography. It you are afraid of not being able to write it maybe you should have someone co write it with you. You did a good job with the synopsis.
Congrats on placing second in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy
Joan
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Many thanks, Joan. GMG
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Don't mention it, GMG.
Joan
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
Whew! What a hellacious three-story starter. I liked how you set up this story into three different traumatic events. I must return to your portfolio and read more of your writings. The font size could be a bit larger, but otherwise I have nothing but praise to offer for this piece. By no means have your life been mundane.
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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Whew! What a hellacious three-story starter. I liked how you set up this story into three different traumatic events. I must return to your portfolio and read more of your writings. The font size could be a bit larger, but otherwise I have nothing but praise to offer for this piece. By no means have your life been mundane.
Comment Written 23-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 09-Oct-2022
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I usually write in 12 point as this is the industry standard but I think on site I use 14 - 16. Many thanks. GMG
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The industry standard is too small for most of the senior writers and readers on this site. I am one of them. The eyes do not get better as one ages. I typically do not use lower than a 20. You are welcome.
Comment from lyenochka
Well, I hope you do continue to write your memoir, G-man! Your presentation of the material was surprising with shocking snippets to start with and hook the reader, then you explained with the details. I do remember some of the stories but not about Avril. Congrats on your Second Place Prize!
One comment:
Unless comma rules are different in UK English, I'd remove the first two commas in the part below because "cult" is the direct object of those present active verbs:
"starting, and maintaining, a cult,"
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Well, I hope you do continue to write your memoir, G-man! Your presentation of the material was surprising with shocking snippets to start with and hook the reader, then you explained with the details. I do remember some of the stories but not about Avril. Congrats on your Second Place Prize!
One comment:
Unless comma rules are different in UK English, I'd remove the first two commas in the part below because "cult" is the direct object of those present active verbs:
"starting, and maintaining, a cult,"
Comment Written 22-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 23-Sep-2022
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Many thanks for checking this out. Not sure if I'll write more, dpends on how bored I get! lol Much appreciated.
GMG
Comment from John Ciarmello
Hi, G, I didn't get a chance to read this when it was posted, and I'm sorry I missed it, but here I am! I want to extend congrats on your second-place win. However, it seems inconsequential after reading about these pieces of your life. Sensational! Best, JohnC
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Hi, G, I didn't get a chance to read this when it was posted, and I'm sorry I missed it, but here I am! I want to extend congrats on your second-place win. However, it seems inconsequential after reading about these pieces of your life. Sensational! Best, JohnC
Comment Written 20-Sep-2022
reply by the author on 21-Sep-2022
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Many thanks for going back and checking this one out, John. G
Comment from JamesW019
That was painfully real. Sometimes you can tell when people are writing from personal experience or making things up, and the amount of detail and care you put into each line of those hooks told me they all came from experience before you said they did. I think an autobiography of someone who isn't from the US and lived a different life would be a welcome story, and one people definitely haven't read too much of
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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That was painfully real. Sometimes you can tell when people are writing from personal experience or making things up, and the amount of detail and care you put into each line of those hooks told me they all came from experience before you said they did. I think an autobiography of someone who isn't from the US and lived a different life would be a welcome story, and one people definitely haven't read too much of
Comment Written 16-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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It's certainly been different. Many thanks. G
Comment from Terry Broxson
You tell a compelling nonfiction story and I think it will do well in this contest. Good luck. I have only one suggestion. I offer it up as a headline: GIFTED WRITER ADOPTS BIGGER FONT TO HELP OLD READERS! Exceptional work. Terry.
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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You tell a compelling nonfiction story and I think it will do well in this contest. Good luck. I have only one suggestion. I offer it up as a headline: GIFTED WRITER ADOPTS BIGGER FONT TO HELP OLD READERS! Exceptional work. Terry.
Comment Written 14-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 20-Jun-2022
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I used a size 14, industry standard is 12. usually I use 16 if it's not too long! lol Got to keep folk guessing.... Many thanks G
Comment from Sugarray77
Hello Gareth. You always do such stellar writing that I expected and was rewarded with your lovely work. Your personal attachment to each line gave it a depth and resonance that struck a chord with me and I am sure with your other readers as well. I hope you do pursue the book about your life. It will be therapeutic, if nothing else. Well done, as always.
Melissa
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Hello Gareth. You always do such stellar writing that I expected and was rewarded with your lovely work. Your personal attachment to each line gave it a depth and resonance that struck a chord with me and I am sure with your other readers as well. I hope you do pursue the book about your life. It will be therapeutic, if nothing else. Well done, as always.
Melissa
Comment Written 09-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Many thanks, Melissa. G
Comment from LisaMay
Your life story will definitely sound like a fiction novel due to your wide range of unusual experiences that seem to come from a vivid imagination but are your own lived reality. Some people lead boring lives and want to write about it; some cram a lot into their lives and you obviously are one of these, still young at 49 so we can expect plenty more to happen. You tell a great story with a deft touch.
I lived in London in 1977 and as an Australian, with no experience of sectarian violence and bombings, became acutely aware of the IRA's activities. Also the wariness and prejudice against Irish.
I'm not surprised you got emotional while recalling these events - they would've had a major impact on you.
Observations:
I always thought the expression was 'derring-do'.
(from the Internet: 'The expression logically should be "feats of daring-do" because that's just what it means: deeds of extreme daring. But through a chain of misunderstandings explained in the Oxford English Dictionary, the standard form evolved with the unusual spelling "derring-do," and "daring-do" is an error.)
I don't think the number two hundred needs a hyphen (well over two-hundred others)
Avril survived but it was along hard road back for her. (separate 'along' into 2 words)
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Your life story will definitely sound like a fiction novel due to your wide range of unusual experiences that seem to come from a vivid imagination but are your own lived reality. Some people lead boring lives and want to write about it; some cram a lot into their lives and you obviously are one of these, still young at 49 so we can expect plenty more to happen. You tell a great story with a deft touch.
I lived in London in 1977 and as an Australian, with no experience of sectarian violence and bombings, became acutely aware of the IRA's activities. Also the wariness and prejudice against Irish.
I'm not surprised you got emotional while recalling these events - they would've had a major impact on you.
Observations:
I always thought the expression was 'derring-do'.
(from the Internet: 'The expression logically should be "feats of daring-do" because that's just what it means: deeds of extreme daring. But through a chain of misunderstandings explained in the Oxford English Dictionary, the standard form evolved with the unusual spelling "derring-do," and "daring-do" is an error.)
I don't think the number two hundred needs a hyphen (well over two-hundred others)
Avril survived but it was along hard road back for her. (separate 'along' into 2 words)
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Many thanks for the great response to this piece. I'm not sure if I'll do more of not. I need to think about it. Many thanks. G
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
I hope you do write your story, not only will it be good for you to actually get it all down and out, it will give the readers a chance to see the other side of the terrible times that occurred in Northern Ireland. It's a period in history they don't want to see repeated for the sake of their families and all the children. (born and unborn) Your three beginnings would pull anyone in to read the rest, and probably wouldn't stop reading until the end. This is a great entry into the share your story contest and I wish you the best of luck. :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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I hope you do write your story, not only will it be good for you to actually get it all down and out, it will give the readers a chance to see the other side of the terrible times that occurred in Northern Ireland. It's a period in history they don't want to see repeated for the sake of their families and all the children. (born and unborn) Your three beginnings would pull anyone in to read the rest, and probably wouldn't stop reading until the end. This is a great entry into the share your story contest and I wish you the best of luck. :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 08-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 13-Jun-2022
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Many thanks as always, Sandra.
