Teddy Bear's Picnic
Greedy Ted gets a tummy ache. (5-7-5)18 total reviews
Comment from jessizero
This is a very cute 5-7-5 poem! I love the wordplay on the stuffed bear. I also like your rhymes. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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This is a very cute 5-7-5 poem! I love the wordplay on the stuffed bear. I also like your rhymes. Thank you for sharing this here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 06-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thanks Jessi!
Comment from Sugarray77
What a fun poem you have written for this prompt. I love the artwork you chose for this verse and think its so perfect. Well written and succinct.... good luck.
Melissa
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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What a fun poem you have written for this prompt. I love the artwork you chose for this verse and think its so perfect. Well written and succinct.... good luck.
Melissa
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Thanks for your comments, Melissa. I appreciate your review.
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Yup, it looks like "Ted" is stuffed in more ways than one. Can't "rebuff" the chef though, in fear of not getting the next meal. Teddy is going to be just fine.
Cute.
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Yup, it looks like "Ted" is stuffed in more ways than one. Can't "rebuff" the chef though, in fear of not getting the next meal. Teddy is going to be just fine.
Cute.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This humorous 5-7-5, Teddy Bear's Picnic, has the right set up and finds that the teddy bear has likely eaten all the food which has disappeared. Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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This humorous 5-7-5, Teddy Bear's Picnic, has the right set up and finds that the teddy bear has likely eaten all the food which has disappeared. Teddy, Teddy, Teddy.
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 06-Jun-2022
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Teddy showed no restraint.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
I liked it but scratch my head understanding line two. Time and again I say how difficult it is to write a review with so few words, or worse syllables but by George, you did well. Good work,
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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I liked it but scratch my head understanding line two. Time and again I say how difficult it is to write a review with so few words, or worse syllables but by George, you did well. Good work,
Comment Written 05-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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I hope you didn't get splinters in your fingers!
Interpretation of line 2: chef wouldn?t bear be rebuffed
chef = the provider of the food
wouldn't bear be rebuffed = wouldn't tolerate being rejected
Therefore, Teddy ate all the food .
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Oh, I see
Comment from harmony13
The author's words are sweet, funny, clear and creative. The
Teddy Bear does look stuffed! The poem flows and connects
well. The artwork is adorable and compliments this poem.
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The author's words are sweet, funny, clear and creative. The
Teddy Bear does look stuffed! The poem flows and connects
well. The artwork is adorable and compliments this poem.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
Comment from LateBloomer
Hello author, it looks like Teddy is quite stuffed. I think he's so stuffed that he's looking for his "cousin" Pooh Bear. Lovely photo choice. Good
5-7-5 format. Nice rhyme ... rebuffed and stuffed. A fun poem that made me smile. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
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Hello author, it looks like Teddy is quite stuffed. I think he's so stuffed that he's looking for his "cousin" Pooh Bear. Lovely photo choice. Good
5-7-5 format. Nice rhyme ... rebuffed and stuffed. A fun poem that made me smile. As this is a contest entry, I wish you good luck. LateBloomer
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
Comment from E. Denison
This is a very clever entry for the 5-7-5 humor contest, mystery writer. I am awarding six stars for a couple of reasons. 1) Humor is subjective, but this poem genuinely made me laugh. 2) You have used very clever and (I presume) intentional word choice for this brief work, which not only allows for a cute story to be told, but also promotes rhymes, and has so many teddy bear puns. "Ted, bear, stuffed" are the three I see on first read, so at least one per line. Fun paired image here as well to tell a complete story. Really well done. I wish you the best in the contest.
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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This is a very clever entry for the 5-7-5 humor contest, mystery writer. I am awarding six stars for a couple of reasons. 1) Humor is subjective, but this poem genuinely made me laugh. 2) You have used very clever and (I presume) intentional word choice for this brief work, which not only allows for a cute story to be told, but also promotes rhymes, and has so many teddy bear puns. "Ted, bear, stuffed" are the three I see on first read, so at least one per line. Fun paired image here as well to tell a complete story. Really well done. I wish you the best in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 05-Jun-2022
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I appreciate your glowing review!
Comment from Sandra Nelms-Ludwig
This is a cute and well-formatted poem. The graphic is perfect for the title. The background and font coloring are on point. The font being bold and larger is also good. The syllable count is correct. The second line is witty with the usage of bear as the verb. The only suggestion I have is try centering the text, so the overall look of the poem is not leftward heavy. Well-done, good luck in the contest.
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This is a cute and well-formatted poem. The graphic is perfect for the title. The background and font coloring are on point. The font being bold and larger is also good. The syllable count is correct. The second line is witty with the usage of bear as the verb. The only suggestion I have is try centering the text, so the overall look of the poem is not leftward heavy. Well-done, good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
Comment from C.A.Currie
So Cute! If cuteness brought points you surely would win - cute picture and really cute words!
Good luck in the contest!
Hugs & Sunshine from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
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So Cute! If cuteness brought points you surely would win - cute picture and really cute words!
Good luck in the contest!
Hugs & Sunshine from my heart to yours
~ Christine ~
Comment Written 04-Jun-2022
