One Thousand Cranes
Viewing comments for Chapter 56 "Melancholic Gray Sky"Gypsy's Favorites
23 total reviews
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
I like the new poem form you have created. It reminds me of Robert's cube16 form because of it's symmetry. I hope I will find it as useful for considerations of death as the Cube is for happier occasions such as birthdays and weddings. I hope the restrictions of when to use it don't block its popularity. Kate xx
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
  |
I like the new poem form you have created. It reminds me of Robert's cube16 form because of it's symmetry. I hope I will find it as useful for considerations of death as the Cube is for happier occasions such as birthdays and weddings. I hope the restrictions of when to use it don't block its popularity. Kate xx
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
-
Thank you very much, Kate. I appreciate your lovely review. I write it because I enjoy it, it's okay if others don't.
Hugs♡
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment from Fleedleflump
Fell winds spoil our supper,
death knells waft on the breeze,
incarcerating dread
within a grief-locked cell,
clamping our minds' thin weft
to flap - a flagged demise
I like it - cool form, and a beautiful pair of stanzas exploring the romance of the shade.
I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
|
Fell winds spoil our supper,
death knells waft on the breeze,
incarcerating dread
within a grief-locked cell,
clamping our minds' thin weft
to flap - a flagged demise
I like it - cool form, and a beautiful pair of stanzas exploring the romance of the shade.
I very much enjoyed the read.
Mike
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
-
Hello, Mike, I love your six feet under poem. You should post it. Thank you for the insightful feedback and excellent review. Hugs♡
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment from royowen
This is an excellent post, the language is brilliant my friend, I love it. A quite dark post, but all of us fell that way sometimes, the death of a family member, or friend, or child. This is beautifully written Gypsy, blessings Roy
Suggestion : (that) stands 'round (a) small casket. A missing article!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
|
This is an excellent post, the language is brilliant my friend, I love it. A quite dark post, but all of us fell that way sometimes, the death of a family member, or friend, or child. This is beautifully written Gypsy, blessings Roy
Suggestion : (that) stands 'round (a) small casket. A missing article!
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 01-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022
-
Thank you very much for your excellent review and insightful feedback. I'm used to doing away with articles in Japanese poetry. I understand what you're saying but I need 6 syllables and 'small' is needed. Hugs♡
Gypsy
-
A lot of people do, Eastern Europeans don?t have them in Slavic languages
