Comment from giraffmang

Excellent

Hi Sandra,

nice work once again. The pacing is very good on this, so are the scene transitions.

Miles led her over to the table, pulling out a chair for her to sit on and have her breakfast. - i don't think you need the rest of the sentence after 'chair for her'. we know why she's there.

by that rapscallion,- I love that word. lol

'Your mind's made up! Your mind's made up!' he said, screaming like a banshee. He spat the words, - personally I'd reconsider 'screaming like a banshee'. It's a bit of a cliche and the description which comes after would more than make up for it's exclusion.

We won't be interrupted in here. Sarah is fussing about in the ballroom, also checking the dining table has been set correctly. Here,' He passed Miles his drink.- something doesn't feel right about the punctuation here around the end of the dialogue. I think it should be a full stop after Here, given there's a capital afterwards (it's not a speech tag either).

Now it was time to step into her emerald-green ball gown.- not sure you need to reference the colour again.

 Comment Written 30-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 30-Jun-2022

Thank you for another great review, Gareth. I've made all the changes you've suggested. You always manage to improve my writing. I'm glad you liked this one, too. Thanks, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from Contests

A seven star rating from the Contest Committee for the recognition this post has received from the FanStory community. While this was not a Contest Committee decision, the committee recognizes this achievement with a seven star review.

 Comment Written 07-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 07-Jun-2022

Thank you so very much!! :)) xx

Comment from Rosemary Everson1

Excellent

Sounds like another plot happening, in the midst of the introduction or announcement at the ball, will the homicide be solved? This is really a suspenseful story. I never thought you could solve a plot by having ghostly scenarios retraced.

 Comment Written 03-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 04-Jun-2022

I like to be different!! Lol. Thank you so much for reading this chapter, Rosemary, I really appreciated it. Warm hugs, Sandra xx

Comment from Annette R.

Excellent

Oh, the last line hooks the reader into waiting for the next installment. I have the develop the ability to do that. And the surprised ending of a poisoned husband with his realization of who did it. Nice touch.

 Comment Written 02-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022

Thank you so much for reading this chapter, and the lovely review. I'm so pleased you are enjoying my story! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from ShirleyT1

Excellent

I love your writing! The story line is fantastic, your characters are solid and portrayed well. The dialogue is well-written and believable. All the ingredients which make up a great chapter.

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022

Thank you so much for reading this part, Shirley, I'm so pleased you enjoyed it. Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx

Comment from l.raven

Exceptional

Hi Sandra, well...I'm certainly glad that Margot/Meg...
showed Miles the letter...BUTTTT...he didn't do anything about it...

I guess because of Margot's/Meg's birthday...I can wait...
just not happily...

and I'm a bit confused...but that didn't just start tonight...now!!!!...in your list of characters...Lord Crawley...Megs father...committed suicide...

in the gentleman's club...Lord Crawley keeled down and died...this family has more lives then a cat...

and I thought it was Richard Crawley...Gwen Crawley was going to do in...

so now lets see what Miles father will do about the party...
he doesn't sound to happy about...

and lets see how Meg is going to take it being a polygamist's after she says "I do"...and Margot says..."I do too"...

I started getting nerve when Margot/Meg looked in the mirror...wasn't sure there would be an image there...and Jane was standing there...so glad one showed up...

and I can't understand Bessie thinking something could go wrong...not to such a stable family...

well lets see what happens at the party...ad how Miles
deals with the letter...

I love this chapter my amazing friend...and love the story
told...always a twist you...very well written...another attention grabber...I loveeeee it...love you from this part of the world...to your side of the world...Linda xxoo

how are you doing you???...today was to last day to babysit...Donatta is off the school bus now for the summer...

and if everyone stays healthy...I'm going to work on my
house this summer...it needs my help...well...it's getting last...so you have sweet dreams...and God Bless you...
xxoo love you

 Comment Written 01-Jun-2022

---

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022

Aww, bless you, my dearest Linda, Lord Crawley is Richard (or was) After his father commited suicide after losing all his money, all that was left for Richard to inherit was the title.
Miles will be marrying Meg at Christmas, Margot (hopefully) will be back in her own time toasting chestnuts on an open fire, all alone and miserable.... That is, of course, if Bessie and Margot can stop Meg from being murdered in two weeks time!!!

I know what you mean, I think Bessie is worried about nothing. The party will be a great success. Lord Brandon will storm the party, grab Meg, kills Miles and Miles' mother with his trusty bow and arrow, and they both ride off on his trusty horse! Oh, now I've blown it, please don't spread this around, because I might get hate mail in the post!! 😂🤣😂🤣

I'm so pleased you will have some time to relax cleaning your home, I can't think of anything nicer than getting down on you hands and knees scrubbing out the scullery! lol. Seriously, do take some relaxing time and give that poor body of yours a chance to recover all the stress you've been through these last few months. (Year) I love you too much to see you hurting.

Thank you again, my wonderful friend, for the fun review and the golden star!! Love and hugs, my dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx ❤️❤️❤️

reply by l.raven on 01-Jun-2022

WOW...Lord Brandon knows how to shoot a
bow and arrow...I think I'll keep it a secret...I'll wait for the movie...

the last couple days were hard on Donatta and me... the 31st was a year from when Keith passed...and about 2 1/2 months from when my brother Michael passed...
after I went home on Memorial Day...it hit me hard...I felt so bad for Donatta...she texted today...and I could tell in her words...she was hurting...like you...I love her to much to see her hurt...and that means you too...
sigh...it will take time my amazing friend...but we will both find places in our hearts to keep the memories of our loved ones...

and you my very special friend...are always so very welcome...love you tooooooo many...
xxoo

reply by the author on 02-Jun-2022

I can't believe how fast the time has gone, you poor things. I'm so glad you have each other. You both understand how the other feels, there's no need for explanations, just being there, together, is enough. Stay strong, my dear friend, I'm sending you both a hug, and all the love in the world. 💞❤️ God hold's you both in His arms. xxxx

Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

Now I'm curious about what happened in the original timeline before Bessie and Margot traveled back into time. Did Meg's brother really find out from his wife first and let Miles's father know and die like that? I wonder when the sleuthing actually made a difference other than Margot's feelings for Miles and the Meg's father's letter.

 Comment Written 31-May-2022

---

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022

Hi Helen, you asked me about the 'Fib' Richard told told the two men he was sitting next to, after the last chapter, that was for Lord Brandon's benifit. Richard's wife and her loyal butler put hemlock in Richard's meal, and he realised that just before he took his last breath, calling her a murdering bit.. (bitch) Margot and Bessie are still trying to figure out who murdered Meg which is supposed to take place two weeks after the birthday party. So they haven't got long to go. The thing is, whoever did murder her, wasn't going to leave written clues, so they have to see who hated her that much s/he would want Meg dead. I can't tell you any more because that would give the game away. I think I'm going to have to write a chapter where Bessie and Margot go over the things they've learned already. Thanks so much for reading this chapter, Helen. You always make me think. Warm hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xx

reply by lyenochka on 01-Jun-2022

Yes, I think you explained Richard's fib very well in your reply last time. I was just curious if Richard was the tattletale in the untouched past. It would seem Miles's father planned Meg's murder in the unaltered past...

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022

You might be right, Helen!! Bessie and Margot are coming close to finding out. I'm not saying another word or you might finish the book for me!! Lol. xxxx

Comment from Carol Hillebrenner

Excellent

I was delighted by Lord Crawley's fate, what a nasty man, and captivated to the very end of the chapter. Margot/Meg has a lovely but no doubt trying evening confronting her. I look forward to the next chapter.

 Comment Written 31-May-2022

---

reply by the author on 01-Jun-2022

Thank you so much, Carol, I'm so pleased you liked this part. Yes, he did deserve all he got, he was a thoroughly nast man! Fun in the next part! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx

Comment from blondie560

Exceptional

Hi Sandra, I'm a little behind in my reviewing. These past two chapters are great. I chuckled when you used lily-livered. I connect that saying to old westerns, never would I think a Lord would use the term! The suspense in the story is maddening! I want to keep reading what happens at the party, what happens with the blowhard of a father Lord Brandon, a pompous ass. Now that Richard has died, can I cross him off my list of suspects? I thought he may have been so jealous of his sister, he'd do anything to stay on top.
I still think Bessie is a hoot though.
I hope all is well with you. We are finally having decent spring weather, though we've already had a few days in the 90s. Went from the furnace to the air conditioner in one day! Take care! Looking forward to the next chapter. Hugs :) Sally

 Comment Written 31-May-2022

---

reply by the author on 31-May-2022

Hi Sally. No apologies necessary, we all have a life outsite FS, but I'm so pleased you've read chapter 21 before this one. And super pleased you enjoyed them. Thanks, my friend, your review and the sixth star is so appreciated. I always enjoy your reviews. Have a lovely week in the sunshine!!! It's pouring with rain here!! :(( Love and hugs, dear friend. :)) Sandra xxx

Comment from alexisleech

Exceptional

Lol, I've got a funny feeling too! You are so good at stopping with a cliff-hanger, Sandra. I also loved the 'murdering bitch' reference. That could really put a spanner in the works - has that poor woman not suffered enough?
As always, I can't wait to find out what happens next!

Alexis xxx

 Comment Written 31-May-2022

---

reply by the author on 31-May-2022

Thank you so much, Alexis! I'm sure there are many women around who wish they had some hemlock growing in there gardens, or another plant that has those 'healing' powers!! I'm so glad you enjoyed this part, my friend. Thanks so much for the golden nugget, too!! Love and hugs, Sandra xx