Uncle Stan
My memories of my Uncle Stan during WWII.3 total reviews
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Ah yes, Michigan Avenue and Lincoln Park (I'm from Michigan)
A couple of observations.
1st Para: You start off talking directly to someone "You were only..." then in the 4th sentence, you change to third person:"...to wish him..."
Need Para spacing after "goodbye." in 1st paragraph
2nd Para, 6th sentence: Replace period at end of stopped with a comma
2nd Para. 6th sentence: "Kiss" should be "kissed"
3rd Para, 14th sentence: Change "shot" to "shoot"
Very nice tribute from a couple of innocent hearts to their big, strong uncle. Nicely done.
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Ah yes, Michigan Avenue and Lincoln Park (I'm from Michigan)
A couple of observations.
1st Para: You start off talking directly to someone "You were only..." then in the 4th sentence, you change to third person:"...to wish him..."
Need Para spacing after "goodbye." in 1st paragraph
2nd Para, 6th sentence: Replace period at end of stopped with a comma
2nd Para. 6th sentence: "Kiss" should be "kissed"
3rd Para, 14th sentence: Change "shot" to "shoot"
Very nice tribute from a couple of innocent hearts to their big, strong uncle. Nicely done.
Comment Written 26-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Thank you so much for the close read and the suggestions. No matter how many times I proofread, I miss things. Greatly appreciated.
Comment from RodG
I like how you introduce Uncle Stan, the Navy recruit, through a child's eyes. Especially noteworthy was you description of him in his uniform the day he left. He was so fortunate to survive that brutal war in the Pacific. Rod
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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I like how you introduce Uncle Stan, the Navy recruit, through a child's eyes. Especially noteworthy was you description of him in his uniform the day he left. He was so fortunate to survive that brutal war in the Pacific. Rod
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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The entire family was so happy when he returned home unhurt. Thank you for the read and feedback.
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Only one suggestion. What year did he leave and when did he return?
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Left 1942 returned 1945. Will edit. Thanks.
Comment from Bill Schott
This is a very nice letter that one would have liked to send to let that revered relative know that he was important and loved by those whom he defended and befriended.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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This is a very nice letter that one would have liked to send to let that revered relative know that he was important and loved by those whom he defended and befriended.
Comment Written 22-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Thank you for the feedback.
