Ohmie's Rough Years
The tumultuous '60s wreaked havoc.5 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
I was going to say you were taking a nostalgic walk through the days of the British Invasion, Wayne, but looks like Debbie gets a nod for some of this one too. lol You did a fine job of putting it all together, and now those songs are going to be playing in my head for the rest of the day. Well done.
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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I was going to say you were taking a nostalgic walk through the days of the British Invasion, Wayne, but looks like Debbie gets a nod for some of this one too. lol You did a fine job of putting it all together, and now those songs are going to be playing in my head for the rest of the day. Well done.
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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LOL. Yes, Debbie can give you the lyrics to just about any rock song of the sixties.. Thank you for the great review.
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
This was a really amusing Ohmie post. I imagine you and your wife had fun with this one, Wayne. I was surprised how unforced you managed to make it all sound. Clever. Kate xx
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This was a really amusing Ohmie post. I imagine you and your wife had fun with this one, Wayne. I was surprised how unforced you managed to make it all sound. Clever. Kate xx
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Yes, we did. It was fun, indeed!
I wanted to include a hundred more.
Thank you.
Comment from GTG345
This fictional novel almost seems more non-fictional the fictional it gives someone a understanding what some things happened during the 1960s. From the Cuban missile Crisis to Vietnam War to this long story about the effects of the Berlin wall in a fictionalized manner. Great Job! ( Just learned this year about the historical events in school)
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This fictional novel almost seems more non-fictional the fictional it gives someone a understanding what some things happened during the 1960s. From the Cuban missile Crisis to Vietnam War to this long story about the effects of the Berlin wall in a fictionalized manner. Great Job! ( Just learned this year about the historical events in school)
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you for the review and the stars.
Are you, perchance, related to Charles?
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no, not at all
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Ohmie spending the night with the Beatles and telling George to "Roll over..." then John getting his pencil and notebook, makes it sound like the Beatles introduced "Roll Over Beethoven". Chuck Berry wrote the song in 1956 and made it a hit the same year. John didn't need to make notes, all he had to do was listen to the record. But it is an intriguing way to introduce the direction of the rest of the story.
Oh my gosh, without Ohmie the Beatles would have never been. lol
A few suggestions:
1st Para, 4th sentence: Add "it" between "And" and "was"
4th Para, 3rd sentence: Add "that" between "mind" and "told"
5th Para: I know you already forewarned us about historical liberties, but you cite events spanning over 25 years. The Berlin Airlift was even before Ohmie was out of school; only about a year or two after he was born (1948/1949). But, Ohmie could have been around for the other events.
6th Para, 3rd sentence: Add either "of" or "in" between "friend" and "his"
9th Para, 1st sentence: "stage hand" should be "stagehand"
9th Para.: The Beatles had broken up, certainly not doing Germany gigs any more , by the time this must have taken place. Ohmie having graduated around 1964/1965 and then spending 4/5 years in University, this must have been about 1969/1970, no more Beatles.
19th Para, 1st sentence: Remove comma between "wrong" and "and"
19th Para, 2nd sentence: "voiding" should be "avoiding"
36th Para, 2nd sentence: "then" should be "the"
Oh my gosh Wayne. You have outdone yourself. What a trip down memory lane. Those were the years of "good music." I recognized every single reference. I am just so amazed Ohmie had such an impact on so many of the great ones.
I know I had a few "suggestions" but this still deserves a six-star rating, if for no other reason than for the free ticket back to my favorite era.
As usual, good job Wayne.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Ohmie spending the night with the Beatles and telling George to "Roll over..." then John getting his pencil and notebook, makes it sound like the Beatles introduced "Roll Over Beethoven". Chuck Berry wrote the song in 1956 and made it a hit the same year. John didn't need to make notes, all he had to do was listen to the record. But it is an intriguing way to introduce the direction of the rest of the story.
Oh my gosh, without Ohmie the Beatles would have never been. lol
A few suggestions:
1st Para, 4th sentence: Add "it" between "And" and "was"
4th Para, 3rd sentence: Add "that" between "mind" and "told"
5th Para: I know you already forewarned us about historical liberties, but you cite events spanning over 25 years. The Berlin Airlift was even before Ohmie was out of school; only about a year or two after he was born (1948/1949). But, Ohmie could have been around for the other events.
6th Para, 3rd sentence: Add either "of" or "in" between "friend" and "his"
9th Para, 1st sentence: "stage hand" should be "stagehand"
9th Para.: The Beatles had broken up, certainly not doing Germany gigs any more , by the time this must have taken place. Ohmie having graduated around 1964/1965 and then spending 4/5 years in University, this must have been about 1969/1970, no more Beatles.
19th Para, 1st sentence: Remove comma between "wrong" and "and"
19th Para, 2nd sentence: "voiding" should be "avoiding"
36th Para, 2nd sentence: "then" should be "the"
Oh my gosh Wayne. You have outdone yourself. What a trip down memory lane. Those were the years of "good music." I recognized every single reference. I am just so amazed Ohmie had such an impact on so many of the great ones.
I know I had a few "suggestions" but this still deserves a six-star rating, if for no other reason than for the free ticket back to my favorite era.
As usual, good job Wayne.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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You are too kind. Thank you. It was great fun writing.
And it appears that I uploaded a version before my edits. grrrrrrrrrrr.
Thank you for the stars, maybe my repairs will make it worthy.
Yes, I took HUGE timing liberty. I wanted to convince readers of 1960s chaos in as few words as possible.
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Yeah, I started getting too picky about timing. I just quit trying to figure out if Ohmie could have been there or not. After all, you did warn us, and this is fiction, and it was very fun.
The six-stars were well earned. I gave them because of your time machine effect, your knowledge of 60s/70s music and groups, and your tour of Ohmie through that wilderness.
Comment from Fleedleflump
I love this trip through encounters with various classic bands and singers as Ohmie unwittingly writes some of the most famous songs in history. I bet you had a lot of fun writing this, and I certainly enjoyed the read. The various regional accents came across well, too.
Some minor spag notes I scribbled as I was reading:
'He ignored the thing in the recesses of his mind told him to find a rock' - think this needs a 'that' after 'mind'.
'Abraham was the first real friend his entire life.' - I feel like we need 'of' or 'in' after 'friend'.
'"You'll need a new transistor," he said, but that might last the night."' - missing speech marks before 'but'.
'"I say let it be," Ohmie said gently setting his mug between notebooks.' - needs a comma before 'gently'.
'I heard you guys practicin' your Henry then 8th song' - there's a rogue 'n' in Henry the 8th :-)
Hope that helps.
Mike
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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I love this trip through encounters with various classic bands and singers as Ohmie unwittingly writes some of the most famous songs in history. I bet you had a lot of fun writing this, and I certainly enjoyed the read. The various regional accents came across well, too.
Some minor spag notes I scribbled as I was reading:
'He ignored the thing in the recesses of his mind told him to find a rock' - think this needs a 'that' after 'mind'.
'Abraham was the first real friend his entire life.' - I feel like we need 'of' or 'in' after 'friend'.
'"You'll need a new transistor," he said, but that might last the night."' - missing speech marks before 'but'.
'"I say let it be," Ohmie said gently setting his mug between notebooks.' - needs a comma before 'gently'.
'I heard you guys practicin' your Henry then 8th song' - there's a rogue 'n' in Henry the 8th :-)
Hope that helps.
Mike
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you. And you are right, it does help.
And yes, it was fun!
