The Amazing Heist
Viewing comments for Chapter 13 "Dinner and a Surprise."A team of six plan their final heist.
12 total reviews
Comment from Liz O'Neill
I lost track of my sections to read...I'm back...I like how you repeated merrier: "drink and be merry and merrier." This makes me think of a time we were all supposed to bring our favorite part of our Thanksgiving .That's a funny story for another time: "Each person was to bring their favorite steaks or pork chop." this is a perfect plan: "The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get to choose just the right piece." An interesting ending
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
I lost track of my sections to read...I'm back...I like how you repeated merrier: "drink and be merry and merrier." This makes me think of a time we were all supposed to bring our favorite part of our Thanksgiving .That's a funny story for another time: "Each person was to bring their favorite steaks or pork chop." this is a perfect plan: "The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get to choose just the right piece." An interesting ending
Comment Written 26-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 26-Jun-2022
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Thank you so much Liz for reading, reviewing and your amazing comments.
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***smile***
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***Joy***
Comment from Alcreator Litt Dear
Though it was a normal dinner party, well organized and planned, there was a surprise for having a repeat of another baby shower, something unusual and additional but personal; well said, well done; post god speed more; positively encouraging editing, negatively not wording, forgiving errors of theist-good authors-writers. Free Mem. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
Though it was a normal dinner party, well organized and planned, there was a surprise for having a repeat of another baby shower, something unusual and additional but personal; well said, well done; post god speed more; positively encouraging editing, negatively not wording, forgiving errors of theist-good authors-writers. Free Mem. ALCREATOR LITT DEAR (D R)
Comment Written 21-May-2022
reply by the author on 22-May-2022
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Thank you so much for reviewing and your fantastic comments and the six stars, wow.
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this post. This is well written, well composed and presented. You were able to build anticipation until the very end. I liked the twist.
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
I enjoyed reading this post. This is well written, well composed and presented. You were able to build anticipation until the very end. I liked the twist.
Comment Written 20-May-2022
reply by the author on 21-May-2022
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Thank you so much K.L. for reviewing and your great comments.
Comment from Elizabeth Emerald
I see I came in mid book. I wonder how I missed the prior chapters. This sounds like a pleasant interlude--tantalizes for what is to come!
[with the thought that were==>SO THAT THERE WOULD BE] enough for everyone.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
I see I came in mid book. I wonder how I missed the prior chapters. This sounds like a pleasant interlude--tantalizes for what is to come!
[with the thought that were==>SO THAT THERE WOULD BE] enough for everyone.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you so much Elizabeth for review and your kind comments and suggestions.
Comment from royowen
There's nothing better than getting together with friends Alie, and to top it off, there was a baby shower to usher into the world a new baby, a new life to bless us with. I love your writing my friend, you write of new places and friends and happenings, we wouldn't otherwise know about, well done, blessings Roy
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
There's nothing better than getting together with friends Alie, and to top it off, there was a baby shower to usher into the world a new baby, a new life to bless us with. I love your writing my friend, you write of new places and friends and happenings, we wouldn't otherwise know about, well done, blessings Roy
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Roy for reviewing and your fantastic comments. Blessings.
Comment from lyenochka
How fun! You show us a group of friends who know how to party and care for one another. I liked how you repeated "enough" in the quantity brought by everyone. And I also liked how the different groups naturally separated into the topic that was being discussed. I think there will be a very happy baby shower. I like that both men and women are at this party. I don't know why they separate into just women at baby showers. So glad you are keeping this book going!!
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
How fun! You show us a group of friends who know how to party and care for one another. I liked how you repeated "enough" in the quantity brought by everyone. And I also liked how the different groups naturally separated into the topic that was being discussed. I think there will be a very happy baby shower. I like that both men and women are at this party. I don't know why they separate into just women at baby showers. So glad you are keeping this book going!!
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Helene, for enjoying this one. I happen to agree that both the men and women should have a baby shower together. It's just that you inspired me to finish this one. I figure a chapter a week should do it, lol. Blessings, smiles n hugs!
Comment from Gert sherwood
An amazing heist.
A chapter in the book The Amazing Heist
Dinner and a Surprise
.
aryr
Sounds like everyone brought their favorite food (now that is clever)
I'm hungry. I find your writing well done, you kept me wanting to read more. Along with the surprise baby shower.
Question are you going to write about the heist?
Gert
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
An amazing heist.
A chapter in the book The Amazing Heist
Dinner and a Surprise
.
aryr
Sounds like everyone brought their favorite food (now that is clever)
I'm hungry. I find your writing well done, you kept me wanting to read more. Along with the surprise baby shower.
Question are you going to write about the heist?
Gert
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Gert for reviewing and your great comments. Other than the last two chapters about food, lol, it has been about each person's particular talent, so now I will get back to it.
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aryr you are welcome
Gert
Comment from Gypsy Blue Rose
I enjoyed reading your chapter. The story moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand.
Check this sentence....
"The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get (to) choose just the right piece."
Well done, my friend. Blessed be.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
I enjoyed reading your chapter. The story moved along nicely and the plot was easy to understand.
Check this sentence....
"The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get (to) choose just the right piece."
Well done, my friend. Blessed be.
Gypsy Blue Rose
"The poet waits quietly to paint the unsaid." - Atticus
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you Gypsy Blue Rose for reviewing and your fantastic comments and suggestions. Blessed be n hugs.
Comment from Judy Lawless
I'd forgotten that I reviewed the last posting in the book, Ali. I will definitely have to make time to go back to read from the beginning because it seems to be an intriguing story.
There isn't much action in this chapter, but you've done a good job describing the cooperation in bringing this sumptuous meal together.
A couple little spags: "Lucy made sure there was(were) enough dressings..."
"everyone could get (to) choose"
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
I'd forgotten that I reviewed the last posting in the book, Ali. I will definitely have to make time to go back to read from the beginning because it seems to be an intriguing story.
There isn't much action in this chapter, but you've done a good job describing the cooperation in bringing this sumptuous meal together.
A couple little spags: "Lucy made sure there was(were) enough dressings..."
"everyone could get (to) choose"
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you so much Judy for reviewing and your kind comments. I will fix those in a moment.
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You're most welcome, Ali.
Comment from robyn corum
Alie,
Very cool! I always love new stories - and I have no idea how I missed so much of this one. Obviously - as I told Sandra this morning - my madness during April and my detox during the first part of May had me miss a lot more than I realized. --sigh-- But at least I'm starting to get back in the swing of things now.
You have an intriguing premise and an interesting night here with this surprise baby shower. How very, very nice!! I like it!! And a night out with friends grilling and having some fun is always fun. Yay!
Some notes are below -- If you'll permit me to say so, I think you're making one of the simplest mistakes a writer can make - and it's showing up throughout this whole piece. Please remember that once you are finished with your draft - whether you want to or not - you MUST read through it OUT LOUD, one word at a time, SLOWLY.
That way, I promise, you will catch most of the nits that I am going to point out below. You will be so proud of yourself when YOU find the mistakes instead of having others point them out to you. I promise.
I have a challenge for you. If you STOP reading my comments RIGHT NOW. And go back up to your story and read it. Out loud. One. Word. At. A Time. Slowly. No. Rush.
I wonder how many of the nits that I have marked below would you catch BEFORE you see what I have written?? Go READ and SEE. STOP here and GO LOOK.
No, really. Go look. You are a good writer. But you can always get better, right??? So, GO.
What did you find? Anything? A few things? DID YOU DO IT?????
Notes:
1.) Henry showed up with a several bottles of red and white wine
--> delete 'a'
2.) decided to bring two large salads with the thought that were enough for everyone.
--> edit??
3.) Meanwhile Belinda and Paul showed (up) with enough potatoes for everyone.
4.) The salads which started in large bowls, were in individual bowl
--> The salads were divided into individual bowls
5.) Lucy made sure there were enough dressing(s) for every taste palette.
--> OR -- was enough dressing
6.) The steaks and chops had little flags to designate that the right people.
--> The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get choose just the right piece.
7.) The group sat around a large table which was large enough to seat them all.
--> Thankfully, the table was large enough to seat the whole group.
So, I have to give you a lower rating, when you prolly could have fixed most of these, I feel sure. Always, always - look at the post before you show it to us. Right? Girl, I BELIEVE in YOU!!!! I may believe in you MORE than YOU believe in you. You've got to put in that work. Just writing the first draft is not the whole thing. EVeryone can do that. WRITERS are the ones who do the overtime. YES??
You can do it. YOU can do it. I know you can. You're my girl.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
Alie,
Very cool! I always love new stories - and I have no idea how I missed so much of this one. Obviously - as I told Sandra this morning - my madness during April and my detox during the first part of May had me miss a lot more than I realized. --sigh-- But at least I'm starting to get back in the swing of things now.
You have an intriguing premise and an interesting night here with this surprise baby shower. How very, very nice!! I like it!! And a night out with friends grilling and having some fun is always fun. Yay!
Some notes are below -- If you'll permit me to say so, I think you're making one of the simplest mistakes a writer can make - and it's showing up throughout this whole piece. Please remember that once you are finished with your draft - whether you want to or not - you MUST read through it OUT LOUD, one word at a time, SLOWLY.
That way, I promise, you will catch most of the nits that I am going to point out below. You will be so proud of yourself when YOU find the mistakes instead of having others point them out to you. I promise.
I have a challenge for you. If you STOP reading my comments RIGHT NOW. And go back up to your story and read it. Out loud. One. Word. At. A Time. Slowly. No. Rush.
I wonder how many of the nits that I have marked below would you catch BEFORE you see what I have written?? Go READ and SEE. STOP here and GO LOOK.
No, really. Go look. You are a good writer. But you can always get better, right??? So, GO.
What did you find? Anything? A few things? DID YOU DO IT?????
Notes:
1.) Henry showed up with a several bottles of red and white wine
--> delete 'a'
2.) decided to bring two large salads with the thought that were enough for everyone.
--> edit??
3.) Meanwhile Belinda and Paul showed (up) with enough potatoes for everyone.
4.) The salads which started in large bowls, were in individual bowl
--> The salads were divided into individual bowls
5.) Lucy made sure there were enough dressing(s) for every taste palette.
--> OR -- was enough dressing
6.) The steaks and chops had little flags to designate that the right people.
--> The steaks and chops had little flags designating their cooked temps so everyone could get choose just the right piece.
7.) The group sat around a large table which was large enough to seat them all.
--> Thankfully, the table was large enough to seat the whole group.
So, I have to give you a lower rating, when you prolly could have fixed most of these, I feel sure. Always, always - look at the post before you show it to us. Right? Girl, I BELIEVE in YOU!!!! I may believe in you MORE than YOU believe in you. You've got to put in that work. Just writing the first draft is not the whole thing. EVeryone can do that. WRITERS are the ones who do the overtime. YES??
You can do it. YOU can do it. I know you can. You're my girl.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you so much Robyn, for reviewing and your amazing comments. I have copied and pasted your comments which I will look at later. Thank you for caring.
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I do care. I hope you know that. You are one of my fav, fav people here. I hope you know how I meant my comments to be taken. Hugs-
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Oh, I really appreciate it.