You missed
100 word dash23 total reviews
Comment from joann r romei
This was great, and a complete story in just a short amounts of words, I can feel the tension in every word and step of the way. I did not see any errors, ty for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This was great, and a complete story in just a short amounts of words, I can feel the tension in every word and step of the way. I did not see any errors, ty for sharing.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Awesome review, Joann. I enjoyed the challenge. Thank you for reading.
God bless!
Comment from Malcolm Rothery
A good 100-word story - just a couple of issues:
I think it should be .."...she cried as pain and blood...." and "...saturated..." to keep the tense consistent.
After "....asshole!" maybe say "she yelled" as "she said" does not match with the exclamation mark which signifies anger. Or just lose the exclamation mark.
Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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A good 100-word story - just a couple of issues:
I think it should be .."...she cried as pain and blood...." and "...saturated..." to keep the tense consistent.
After "....asshole!" maybe say "she yelled" as "she said" does not match with the exclamation mark which signifies anger. Or just lose the exclamation mark.
Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Awesome, thank you. I appreciate the help Malcolm and the time you took to review my work.
God bless!
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello mystery writer I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your 100 word dash with us. To tell a story in so few words is a challenge that I think you executed well. Good job and good luck.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Hello mystery writer I hope this review finds you well. Thank you for sharing your 100 word dash with us. To tell a story in so few words is a challenge that I think you executed well. Good job and good luck.
Comment Written 19-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you for the awesome review, my friend.
God bless!
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
This is a good flash, you did a creative job with the prompt.
I think an image or photo to accompany it would have added
extra texture and dimension to the story. Your writing is descriptive,
however, as with most flash fiction stories, this reads a little awkwardly.
Thanks for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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This is a good flash, you did a creative job with the prompt.
I think an image or photo to accompany it would have added
extra texture and dimension to the story. Your writing is descriptive,
however, as with most flash fiction stories, this reads a little awkwardly.
Thanks for sharing.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you for taking the time to review my work and helpful tips. I tried to find a pic on line but couldn't find one. Any suggestions?
God bless!
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Any photo or illustration featuring a bow and arrow, definitely incorporate red, symbolizes blood. This site has a ton of artwork, or online has endless images as well. I would search.. bloody bow and arrow, or a woman dripping blood. How that helps.
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I found a picture of a bloody hand opening a white door, like the bathroom. I think it looks cool. Thanks again for all your help.
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Looks great!!!
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
She got revenge. With one shot. Was it her husband? It sounds like the husband tried to kill her. He must have thought he killed her. This would be a heck of a situation. Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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She got revenge. With one shot. Was it her husband? It sounds like the husband tried to kill her. He must have thought he killed her. This would be a heck of a situation. Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 19-May-2022
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Thank you for the awesome review, Carolyn. I may have to go further with this one. Did the arrow strike the assailant? Was it the husband, thief or serial killer? Not sure myself as of yet lol.
God bless!
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You have a triller here. You are welcome.
Comment from Jannypan (Jan)
Well, this was scary as all get out, Mystery Author.
You did a great job with your entry considering the
limited words allowed. You told a complete little
story with vivid imagery.
Best wishes, Jan
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Well, this was scary as all get out, Mystery Author.
You did a great job with your entry considering the
limited words allowed. You told a complete little
story with vivid imagery.
Best wishes, Jan
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you, Jan. I appreciate the awesome review, my friend.
God bless!
Comment from jessizero
This was a great 100 word story. It met all of the requirements and was very interesting, too. I was half afraid that the husband was the killer. Thank you so much for sharing your story here, and best wishes.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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This was a great 100 word story. It met all of the requirements and was very interesting, too. I was half afraid that the husband was the killer. Thank you so much for sharing your story here, and best wishes.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you, Jessizero for the awesome review. I enjoyed the challenge.
God bless!
Comment from giraffmang
Hi there,
the nose which is always nice.
!00 words right on
"Think, Sadie." She whispered - she, following speech tags are lower case unless a proper noun or name.
"You missed my heart, asshole!" She said above a whisper, - she.
Sadie is remarkably calm and pain-free it seems given there's a knife buried in her shoulder.
The mechanics of using that compound bow would have her in a lot of pain.
I get what you're going for here but it doesn't add up.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Hi there,
the nose which is always nice.
!00 words right on
"Think, Sadie." She whispered - she, following speech tags are lower case unless a proper noun or name.
"You missed my heart, asshole!" She said above a whisper, - she.
Sadie is remarkably calm and pain-free it seems given there's a knife buried in her shoulder.
The mechanics of using that compound bow would have her in a lot of pain.
I get what you're going for here but it doesn't add up.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you, GMG for the awesome advice. I revised and reposted. If you would like to take a look I would be honored. Thank you.
God bless!
Comment from Bill Schott
This one-hundred-word story, You Missed, has the required word count, but I feel it is cobbled from a longer story which may help identify the stabee, the slob in the bathroom who may or may not be receiving a well-deserved arrow in the torso, and a bit of a reason why all this is happening.
I found this:
"Think, Sadie(,)" (s)he whispered...
"You missed my heart, asshole!" (s)he said...
When the dialog ends with a period and is joined with a speaker tag, the period reverts to a comma and the speaker tag completes the sentence.
On the same token, if the dialog ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, it remains that way, but the speaker tag word is lower case, as it is within the same sentence.
Happy day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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This one-hundred-word story, You Missed, has the required word count, but I feel it is cobbled from a longer story which may help identify the stabee, the slob in the bathroom who may or may not be receiving a well-deserved arrow in the torso, and a bit of a reason why all this is happening.
I found this:
"Think, Sadie(,)" (s)he whispered...
"You missed my heart, asshole!" (s)he said...
When the dialog ends with a period and is joined with a speaker tag, the period reverts to a comma and the speaker tag completes the sentence.
On the same token, if the dialog ends with a question mark or exclamation mark, it remains that way, but the speaker tag word is lower case, as it is within the same sentence.
Happy day.
This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you, Bill, for the awesome help in this review. This is why I love this site. People like you who help one better their craft.
God bless!
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
Nice job! I keep telling folks it is possible to tell an entire story in these few words -- and you just proved it. *smile*
Just a couple of clean up spots:
1.) "Think, Sadie(,)" (s)he whispered, noticing a knife buried deep in her left shoulder.
2.) "You missed my heart, asshole!" (s)he said above a whisper,
Here's my favorite (cut and paste) website to remind yourself about punctuation for dialogue. I have it bookmarked so I can return to it easily AND pass it on easily (like this). You may want to do that too.
http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/
Thanks and good luck!
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Dear Mystery Writer,
Nice job! I keep telling folks it is possible to tell an entire story in these few words -- and you just proved it. *smile*
Just a couple of clean up spots:
1.) "Think, Sadie(,)" (s)he whispered, noticing a knife buried deep in her left shoulder.
2.) "You missed my heart, asshole!" (s)he said above a whisper,
Here's my favorite (cut and paste) website to remind yourself about punctuation for dialogue. I have it bookmarked so I can return to it easily AND pass it on easily (like this). You may want to do that too.
http://theeditorsblog.net/2010/12/08/punctuation-in-dialogue/
Thanks and good luck!
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Robyn, you rock young lady! Thank you for the awesome review and much needed help. The website will be well used.
God bless!
