Comment from lyenochka

Excellent

I'm sad reading this now as I know how much horror you have been through trying to protect your grandchildren. But this could have been about your great-granddaughters. Hope all is resolved for your family now.

 Comment Written 02-Sep-2022

Comment from Realist101

Excellent

Hi Carol...I'm hoping the kids are ok??? We have two grands and this would be heartwrenching. But excellent flash style. Absolutely terrifying! Let us know how everyone is?

 Comment Written 27-Jun-2022

Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell

Excellent

I didn't see this one, Carol. That is every mother's worst nightmare, that or a kidnapping. I know this is true because you've written about your family's traumas. Is this a recent one? Well done and good luck in the contest, my friend. Love and hugs, and please come back! Sandra xxxx

 Comment Written 28-May-2022

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reply by the author on 29-May-2022

Not to worry about it! My befuddled brain posted it in the wrong contest which turned out to be blind and a few quickly explained I hadn't followed the rules. Contacted Tom and got it fixed but not much readership after that. I probably shouldn't have even wrote it though it seemed like a reoccurring nightmare in my life. Thank you for your review and kind thoughts. Unfortunately it was recent and got very messy, but that's life I guess... at least in my family. Ugh!

Hugs, love and lots of love, Carol

reply by Sandra Stoner-Mitchell on 29-May-2022

I hate it that you are still going through all this trauma, Carol, you should be leading a more relaxing life now, writing and doing your own thing. Keep your spirits up, dear friend. Do you have my email address? It would be nice just to chat. Love always, my friend. xxxx Sandra

reply by the author on 29-May-2022

topflt4@aol.com

Comment from joann r romei

Excellent

This was intense, I felt the contrast and tension from experiencing joy then terror, and especially regarding loving children and family. No errors noted.

 Comment Written 19-May-2022

Comment from Jannypan (Jan)

Excellent

Your contest entry was intense, Carol. You did
a great job with the limited number of words
allowed. From what I've read you've shared
on FS, I believe I have some understanding where
this entry was based. I pray you can deal with the
issue and stay on FS.
Welcome back, Jan

 Comment Written 18-May-2022

Comment from giraffmang

Good

Hi there,

This was going well. Right wordage, right on the nose. Characters in there, setting too, a lot of tension and conflict but sadly, no resolution, which is a requirement of the competition.

All the best
GMG

 Comment Written 18-May-2022

Comment from Wendy G

Excellent

This gave me goose bumps as I read. It's well written, but I didn't feel there was a resolution at the end. The children are still missing. However your writing is powerful and descriptive. Best wishes for your entry.
Wendy

 Comment Written 18-May-2022

Comment from LJbutterfly

Excellent

I hate that phone call. I've gotten a few in my lifetime. Just when you're sitting back in peace and solitude, the phone rings. My last one was in December. I took a deep breath, got dressed, and went to the hospital. Life can change in a flash. Best wishes in the contest.
BTW, welcome back.

 Comment Written 17-May-2022

Comment from robyn corum

Average

Dear Mystery Writer,

This is definitely a horrible situation - but I'm sorry to say it's not a story so I'm not sure it will qualify for the contest. You mostly have a moment-in-time, I think. The contest calls for a complete story - with a beginning, middle (climax), and a satisfying conclusion. You have certainly set us up with an intriguing beginning, but then the piece stops short. The reader has no idea what happens - so there is no resolution.

I strongly suggest an edit. Thanks and good luck!

This rating does not count towards story rating or author rank.
The highest and the lowest rating are not included in calculations.

 Comment Written 17-May-2022

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reply by the author on 17-May-2022

Sorry I accidentally posted in the wrong contest. It belonged in the true story flash due in 10 days... Pure brain fog I believe! Thanks for pointing it out... I wrote Tom ... otherwise I guess I'll just delete it.

reply by robyn corum on 17-May-2022

Have you entered the true story flash yet?

reply by the author on 17-May-2022

I had reserved it and I guess my brain is so fried I didn't realize I was posting in the wrong one. Oh well! It really doesn't matter. I can't even believe I attempted to write something. Thanks!

Comment from lancellot

Excellent

Hmm, a vivid tale. you did a good job setting an initial tranquil scene, and then gave enough information so the reader has a understanding of what happened, while you crashed into a dark and saddening scene switch.

Good job.

(")A terrified voice screamed, "Mom, they've taken my kids."

- remove

 Comment Written 17-May-2022