How Dare You!
Authors beware of offense.6 total reviews
Comment from Judy Lawless
This is my favourite in this series, Wayne, probably because I saw the movie. lol I suspect I was young enough to believe that line, "Love is never having to say you're sorry", but I might have interpreted it to mean you'd never do anything to your mate that would require an apology. In any event, I like the final version much better. It feels more like true love. Give your wife a hug. :)
A coupIe little spags: "I can bare(barely) see you, ..."
"She's brilliant a scholarship student" - put the 'a' before brilliant
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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This is my favourite in this series, Wayne, probably because I saw the movie. lol I suspect I was young enough to believe that line, "Love is never having to say you're sorry", but I might have interpreted it to mean you'd never do anything to your mate that would require an apology. In any event, I like the final version much better. It feels more like true love. Give your wife a hug. :)
A coupIe little spags: "I can bare(barely) see you, ..."
"She's brilliant a scholarship student" - put the 'a' before brilliant
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you.
Several reviewers have pointed out the bare thing. But it was Merlin's dialogue and my intent was to set him apart from regular people.
And Debbie thanks you!
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You?re welcome, Wayne. I accept bare, since it was intentional. :)
Comment from lyenochka
I'm glad you teamed up with your wife and it's fine when you give credit. Sometimes a writer might post what a grandchild wrote so it's not a broken rule if you acknowledge it.
I had to laugh at you pinpointing that ridiculous line (I've only seen the movie and heard the silly song based on that line.) I did like the rewrite.
Suggestions:
Help we slain literary characters. (us?) Seems like it should be the object of the verb 'Help.'
"But what," Merlin asked, totally perplexed. (what?)
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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I'm glad you teamed up with your wife and it's fine when you give credit. Sometimes a writer might post what a grandchild wrote so it's not a broken rule if you acknowledge it.
I had to laugh at you pinpointing that ridiculous line (I've only seen the movie and heard the silly song based on that line.) I did like the rewrite.
Suggestions:
Help we slain literary characters. (us?) Seems like it should be the object of the verb 'Help.'
"But what," Merlin asked, totally perplexed. (what?)
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thank you for the great review.
Comment from robyn corum
Wayne,
You are a goose. *smile* A silly, silly, silly one. I think every man in the world who depends on that sentence would have your head. hahaha All the women know it's stupid and cheesy and ridiculous. Absolutely so. Don't even know how it got to stay in that book, actually. It's beyond stupid. But I adore the fact that you and your wife worked together on this one. THAT made me smile. HUZZAH!
Some notes for you, if I may:
1.) Pardon me. I can bare(ly) see, you, let alone hear you.
--> remove the comma after 'see' please
2.) Merlin, the Wizard was beginning to grow
--> remove comma after 'Merlin'
3.) though not long past prior offense would have
--> delete 'prior'
4.) Eric Segal's, Jennifer Barrett."
--> no comma
--> you gotta get over this love affair with commas, dude
5.) She would not be closeted, compartmentalized.(")
6.) Shaking her head firmly, she replies, "No, Olliver. Love is just.
--> one 'l' in Oliver, please
I'm not so sure I like the new version either, but it's a change and it would be a nicer change. I think it might grow on me. hahahaha
Thanks a bunch! I'm still smiling. Hugs-
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Wayne,
You are a goose. *smile* A silly, silly, silly one. I think every man in the world who depends on that sentence would have your head. hahaha All the women know it's stupid and cheesy and ridiculous. Absolutely so. Don't even know how it got to stay in that book, actually. It's beyond stupid. But I adore the fact that you and your wife worked together on this one. THAT made me smile. HUZZAH!
Some notes for you, if I may:
1.) Pardon me. I can bare(ly) see, you, let alone hear you.
--> remove the comma after 'see' please
2.) Merlin, the Wizard was beginning to grow
--> remove comma after 'Merlin'
3.) though not long past prior offense would have
--> delete 'prior'
4.) Eric Segal's, Jennifer Barrett."
--> no comma
--> you gotta get over this love affair with commas, dude
5.) She would not be closeted, compartmentalized.(")
6.) Shaking her head firmly, she replies, "No, Olliver. Love is just.
--> one 'l' in Oliver, please
I'm not so sure I like the new version either, but it's a change and it would be a nicer change. I think it might grow on me. hahahaha
Thanks a bunch! I'm still smiling. Hugs-
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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You made our day!
Debbie and I have great fun working together.
Thank you for a great review.
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Grrr
These were embarrassing. Thanks for going to the trouble to point them out.
And to think, (comma) I find comma errors all the time in other's work.
Thanks again.
Comment from jessizero
I enjoyed this one, too! I'm not a big fan of Love Story, but I enjoyed your story. Thanks for continuing to share, and please keep it up. Best wishes to you.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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I enjoyed this one, too! I'm not a big fan of Love Story, but I enjoyed your story. Thanks for continuing to share, and please keep it up. Best wishes to you.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you. (and Shakespeare is coming.)
Comment from Kim Kinakin Tuckey
This was a great read. It was an interesting perspective on past literary works. I was vaguely familiar with some but those who are more knowledgeable would definitely appreciate. Great job!!
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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This was a great read. It was an interesting perspective on past literary works. I was vaguely familiar with some but those who are more knowledgeable would definitely appreciate. Great job!!
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Thank you!
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
These stories become more and more interesting as I read more of them. Maybe it's just that I am drawn further and further into the life of the court as we progress. I find it's a bit like peeling an onion, layer after layer is revealed, the possibilities seemingly unlimited. Much enjoyed this one. Kate xx
PS collaboration is not breaking the rules. We're all friends here, well nearly.
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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These stories become more and more interesting as I read more of them. Maybe it's just that I am drawn further and further into the life of the court as we progress. I find it's a bit like peeling an onion, layer after layer is revealed, the possibilities seemingly unlimited. Much enjoyed this one. Kate xx
PS collaboration is not breaking the rules. We're all friends here, well nearly.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 17-May-2022
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Yay! I was a bit worried. Thank you.
Yes, there a million killed off characters, but keeping the tone different is a bit of a challenge.
Thanks for the review.
(I got the nearly!)
