Reviews from

Show, Don't Tell - part VIII

the colour purple

22 total reviews 
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
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Fantastic post!! I am guilty as charged for writing in this
stylistic manner. I overcomplicate rather than simply.
Your post is a refresher on what not to do. Thank you for
another installment.

 Comment Written 18-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    We all do it from time to time. lol It's an occupational hazard. Many thanks. G
Comment from robyn corum
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Gareth,

More lovely information that almost every writer I ever knew needs to learn. I wish there was a section for stuff we could 'pin' to the top. Not bookcase for ourselves but store somewhere on FS for everyone. In the toolbar, under 'Read', they should have a section on stuff members have composed on writing well AND on getting around the site. Oh, well.

A note - or q:
descriptions can easily lip into overwrought and distracting prose
--> slip?

Thanks!

 Comment Written 17-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    Yep, I've always thought something like that would be advantageous. Many thanks robyn. G
Comment from Wayne Fowler
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Excellent advice. Well presented. Thank you.
Your comment about fresh eyes is 100%. When I'm in left brain mode, I can't see the most obvious blunder. I've skipped over 'od' when wanted 'of' countless times. I feel the idiot when it's pointed out. Then again, when I'm on the right side as I review someone else, I feel I can see everything.
I'm waiting for your piece on cliches and over-used metaphors and similes.
Best wishes.

 Comment Written 17-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    It's so much easier seeing it other writing as your brain doesn't auto-correct like it does when it's your own! lol Many thanks Wayne. Always appreciated. G
Comment from DeboraDyess
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Ouch! I'm so sure I've done this! Thank you for bringing it back to mind.
(Right now I'm stripping a novel down... Yuck! It's tedious and painful and necessary.)
If I may...
~ Not familiar with purple prose. >> Not familiar with purple prose?
You're right about balance, of course. But that 'show, don't tell' thing has gotten to be so pervasive that it becomes obnoxious! lol Thanks for shedding light.
Blessings,
Deb

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    I've been stripping my novel for years now. I must actually finish it! lol Many thanks G
Comment from juliaSjames
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The key word I take away from this post is "balance", although that's subjective isn't it? The point about adjectives is well taken, as are the other issues you raise for consideration and guidance.
However from time to time I have experimented with what I would call "poetic prose" in which I deliberately use purple prose for evocative impact.
It was fun. But I think it would only work in fairly short pieces.

Thanks for your kindness in helping us as members of this writing community to improve our skills

Stay safe and blessed

Julia




 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    Many thanks for your thoughts on this one. We all do the over-writing at some point I reckon. lol Much appreciated. G
Comment from Jay Squires
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Another fine article, G. And yes, it is easier to see it in another's writing and be blind to the same in one's own. I will be interested in your evaluation of the judge's "purple prose" in Cha 11 & 12 of Fanny Barnwarmer.

Only one thing you might want to look at if it wasn't already pointed out:

Here's a few tips on how to do just that. [Here are a few tips]

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    I'll be reading anyway. I love it, as you know. G
Comment from joann r romei
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Hello, this was wonderful, I am guilty of this, haha, I think it was a style of writing pre television era. A time when readers had all the time in the world to devote to a novel.

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    I still prefer to read older novels rather than newer ones as I find newer ones quite boring, if I'm honest. They're all quick reads, no matter their length. lol Many thanks G
Comment from Judy Lawless
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Thanks again for another very useful posting about Show Don't Tell, G. I've fallen behind in reading all of these, but plan to go back to catch up on what I've missed, before I get into the second editing of my novel. All of these tips are much appreciated.

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    I read a lot... that's my excuse for these. lol
Comment from royowen
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I have read heavily embellished language, particularly in poetry, and thought to
myself, "what was that all about" but have really enjoyed the well written simple poem that were natural and easy to read, not overly ambiguous and abstractly obscure, you're right, language should be highly descriptive but normal, well dine, blessings Roy

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    I love simple poetry, it's usually the most effective. Put emotion on the page, not rhetoric. G
Comment from Katherine M. (k-11)
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Oh sigh! You can only post 3 more pieces this week, or I can't do them justice. The only thing I didn't like about this post is that you expect me to count how many words I use in a sentence. I already spend my whole life counting. How many steps to reach the supermarket today? And how many more to come back? did the difference correlate with the number of items I bought? how many tasks per unit of pleasure? How many words did I write / edit / translate? how many minutes did I read ? how many minutes did I brush my teeth? how many times did I cycle my left ankle? and the right? how many FS points did I gain? and pumps? and that's just how many things I can think of in a minute and a half... my head is exploding with all this counting. I can't count more. Instead I assess sentences by number of lines. More than one and a half (minimal counting) and I examine. Kate xx

 Comment Written 16-May-2022


reply by the author on 23-May-2022
    If by assessing lines works for you, good stuff. It's all a little subjective and sometimes longer sentences can break up the shorter ones! lol