Don't Be So Subservient
Denise's position after marriage (50-word dribble)13 total reviews
Comment from dragonpoet
Lisa,
This is a witty piece of short fiction which tells us that there are some times when it is good to be subservient. But one should not have total control over the other in a relationship. That is not truly what a marriage is. I like the artwork.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Lisa,
This is a witty piece of short fiction which tells us that there are some times when it is good to be subservient. But one should not have total control over the other in a relationship. That is not truly what a marriage is. I like the artwork.
Congrats on placing third in the contest.
Keep writing and stay healthy.
Joan
Comment Written 11-Jun-2022
reply by the author on 15-Jun-2022
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Thanks for reviewing!
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No problem, Lisa.
Joan
Comment from robyn corum
LM,
How 'bout, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? hahahaha Sounds like she knows when it's safe to follow behind. If she tried to stay beside him in this case, it might lead to disaster. This was a fun little piece. Thanks for the smile!
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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LM,
How 'bout, MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS? hahahaha Sounds like she knows when it's safe to follow behind. If she tried to stay beside him in this case, it might lead to disaster. This was a fun little piece. Thanks for the smile!
Comment Written 18-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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You are right - friends shouldn't meddle with a comment like that.
I used to like getting out into the smooth water beside the boat when I waterskied, rather than the choppy water at the back.
Comment from LJbutterfly
"Denise's position after marriage" This is a creative introduction to your story considering the twist at the end. A friend of mine recently married and asked for my advice since I've been married 100 years. I advised, "Don't listen to friends." Way to go Denice. Let Hubby drive the boat. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
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"Denise's position after marriage" This is a creative introduction to your story considering the twist at the end. A friend of mine recently married and asked for my advice since I've been married 100 years. I advised, "Don't listen to friends." Way to go Denice. Let Hubby drive the boat. Great story. Best wishes in the contest.
Comment Written 17-May-2022
Comment from lyenochka
Lol. I knew there would be a punchline at the end. You always know how to set us up and then we wait for the final sentence. At least, that was for a fun reason and not that they were clearing out mines where going ahead would be noble. Best wishes in the contest!
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Lol. I knew there would be a punchline at the end. You always know how to set us up and then we wait for the final sentence. At least, that was for a fun reason and not that they were clearing out mines where going ahead would be noble. Best wishes in the contest!
Comment Written 16-May-2022
reply by the author on 16-May-2022
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Clearing mines is a very good reason to go last!
I had a friend whose husband always wanted her to walk behind him on forest tracks, in case there were cobwebs across the path. He'd seen how she freaked out one day when she walked into a spiderweb and got it across her face.
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Lol. Another good reason to follow behind someone.
Comment from jessizero
This was adorable. I didn't see the ending coming, and that made it even more special. Thank you for sharing your dribble flash fiction here, and best wishes to you.
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This was adorable. I didn't see the ending coming, and that made it even more special. Thank you for sharing your dribble flash fiction here, and best wishes to you.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
Comment from Jesse James Doty
This is very funny. I love the punch line where she is skiing on water skis follow behind the groom who is in the powerboat. A very clever and telling look inside the world where many people tell the bride how to be with the groom. It is up to the couple in question, I believe. They must decide how they want to live and how subservient one should be toward the other. Not anyone else on the sidelines. This is definitely food for thought.
Thanks for sharing such a lighthearted romp in the hay with a married couple. I am happy to have a few laughs at their expense.
Jesse
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This is very funny. I love the punch line where she is skiing on water skis follow behind the groom who is in the powerboat. A very clever and telling look inside the world where many people tell the bride how to be with the groom. It is up to the couple in question, I believe. They must decide how they want to live and how subservient one should be toward the other. Not anyone else on the sidelines. This is definitely food for thought.
Thanks for sharing such a lighthearted romp in the hay with a married couple. I am happy to have a few laughs at their expense.
Jesse
Comment Written 15-May-2022
Comment from Michele Harber
Very cute, Lisa May, and I never expected the ending. I'll be entering the contest myself, when I build up enough site dollars, but my entry is serious, so we'll see which direction the judges go. Good luck. (FYI, I tried to waterski once. I couldn't even stand up. My husband managed to stand briefly, but he said it felt like his shoulders were being pulled from their sockets. Perhaps we'll just stick to miniature golf as our sport of choice.)
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Very cute, Lisa May, and I never expected the ending. I'll be entering the contest myself, when I build up enough site dollars, but my entry is serious, so we'll see which direction the judges go. Good luck. (FYI, I tried to waterski once. I couldn't even stand up. My husband managed to stand briefly, but he said it felt like his shoulders were being pulled from their sockets. Perhaps we'll just stick to miniature golf as our sport of choice.)
Comment Written 15-May-2022
Comment from Dolly'sPoems
My Grandkids are experts at the old waterskiing! You made me smile here Lisa, good humour and a fine dribble flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x
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My Grandkids are experts at the old waterskiing! You made me smile here Lisa, good humour and a fine dribble flash fiction for the contest, love Dolly x
Comment Written 15-May-2022
Comment from Mary Vigasin
As you have shown in other writing, you have a remarkable talent for pulling the rug out with an ending that goes in an entirely different direction or surprises your reader.
Well, you have done it again in this story which led to an unexpected clever ending.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
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As you have shown in other writing, you have a remarkable talent for pulling the rug out with an ending that goes in an entirely different direction or surprises your reader.
Well, you have done it again in this story which led to an unexpected clever ending.
Good luck in the contest.
Best wishes,
Mary
Comment Written 15-May-2022
Comment from Debbie Pope
I had no idea where this dribble was headed. Personally, I have a friend with some mental issues who looks for controlling men. So, that is where my mind went. Then I thought that maybe the woman was foreign and was loyal to old marriage notions. Water skiing was a nice surprise.
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I had no idea where this dribble was headed. Personally, I have a friend with some mental issues who looks for controlling men. So, that is where my mind went. Then I thought that maybe the woman was foreign and was loyal to old marriage notions. Water skiing was a nice surprise.
Comment Written 15-May-2022
