I'm Bored!!
Every Parent's Nightmare10 total reviews
Comment from LisaMay
I'm pleased your poem did well in the contest. I see RSPoet helped with your iambic metre. Where stresses fall always manages to confuse me.
I enjoyed your poem's topic. When I was a kid I would never admit to being bored in case mum gave me a job to do. I learnt that one very quickly!
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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I'm pleased your poem did well in the contest. I see RSPoet helped with your iambic metre. Where stresses fall always manages to confuse me.
I enjoyed your poem's topic. When I was a kid I would never admit to being bored in case mum gave me a job to do. I learnt that one very quickly!
Comment Written 17-May-2022
reply by the author on 18-May-2022
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Thanks for your willingness to help. Like you, iambic metre gives me the willies but I thought I'd give it a go.
Geoff
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I wonder if it's because we are Australian and our accent isn't quite 'english'?
Comment from Sarah Tummey
I enjoyed this. Well done for fitting it into the rhyme scheme perfectly, and I can just imagine a parent encouraging a bored child to do their chores.
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I enjoyed this. Well done for fitting it into the rhyme scheme perfectly, and I can just imagine a parent encouraging a bored child to do their chores.
Comment Written 16-May-2022
Comment from Debi Pick Marquette
Cute poem and might have been fun for children's poems contest too.
Love the picture and sentiments how children get bored so easily..
Great poem and fun to read. Thanks and good luck in good luck in the contest
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Cute poem and might have been fun for children's poems contest too.
Love the picture and sentiments how children get bored so easily..
Great poem and fun to read. Thanks and good luck in good luck in the contest
Comment Written 16-May-2022
Comment from GARY MACLEAN
Perfection. All syllables in the right place at the right time and in the correct rhyming pattern. Not an easy thing to do with so few lines and syllables available. Moms have a way of finding something to do don't they?
Well said
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Perfection. All syllables in the right place at the right time and in the correct rhyming pattern. Not an easy thing to do with so few lines and syllables available. Moms have a way of finding something to do don't they?
Well said
Comment Written 16-May-2022
Comment from mortman
Really enjoyed this. The lines flowed well and the underlying truth and humor made it that much more enjoyable. Probably something everyone can relate to even if you don't have kids. Good luck in the contest.
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Really enjoyed this. The lines flowed well and the underlying truth and humor made it that much more enjoyable. Probably something everyone can relate to even if you don't have kids. Good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Thanks for your review and the six. Much appreciated.
Comment from robyn corum
Dear Mystery Writer,
You're absolutely right. This is probably a pet peeve of every kid in every nation everywhere across the globe. Why is it that when you tell a parent you are bored - without fail -- they will offer you a JOB to do? hahaha
I had forgotten about that. hahaha Fun stuff! Thanks!
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Dear Mystery Writer,
You're absolutely right. This is probably a pet peeve of every kid in every nation everywhere across the globe. Why is it that when you tell a parent you are bored - without fail -- they will offer you a JOB to do? hahaha
I had forgotten about that. hahaha Fun stuff! Thanks!
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Thanks for your review. I think giving a job is definitely a "Mum" thing.
Comment from Tom Horonzy
Of the six so far read I like this one so far as the best. Good luck. I'm weighing whether to join in. Maybe I am the kid in the picture at this hour. Oops. I've been handed a vacuum. She says, "take the hint, grandpa."
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Of the six so far read I like this one so far as the best. Good luck. I'm weighing whether to join in. Maybe I am the kid in the picture at this hour. Oops. I've been handed a vacuum. She says, "take the hint, grandpa."
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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They always have a habit of handing vacuum lol. Glad you enjoyed.
Comment from rspoet
This is an excellent entry for the minute contest
with exact rhymes and correct syllables.
The iambic meter is off, but that is not usually enforced.
EX:
Toys are scattered around my room could be something like:
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM (Capital letters are stressed syllables)
My TOYS are SCATtered 'ROUND my Room
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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This is an excellent entry for the minute contest
with exact rhymes and correct syllables.
The iambic meter is off, but that is not usually enforced.
EX:
Toys are scattered around my room could be something like:
da DUM da DUM da DUM da DUM (Capital letters are stressed syllables)
My TOYS are SCATtered 'ROUND my Room
Good luck in the contest.
Robert
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Thanks for your review. I have made changes as suggested.
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Even after making the changes the poem was returned with the following decision:
DECISION: The rules clearly state that each entry needs to use iambic meter, has to use posted syllable count, and posted rhyme scheme with 3 verses and 12 lines. Your entry has mistakes using proper iambic meter. Please correct.
Verse 1 Line 3
Verse 2 Line 1and 3
Wondering if you can help me with this as I can't see the problem. No problem if you can't.
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I'll take a look.
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My toys are scattered round the room
but I?m in gloom
I want to play
with them today
But nothing keeps my int?rest high
It?s gone bye-bye
I must begin
Won?t let it win
Mum says she?ll come to my rescue
With things to do
Can always clean
I think she?s mean
You could use ?passion? or int?rest
Remember you want da DUM da DUM unstressed/stressed
This should help with the lines the judges mentioned.
Good luck.
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Or:
My toys are scattered round the room
but I?m in gloom
I cannot play
with them today
For nothing keeps my int?rest high
It?s gone bye-bye
I must begin
Won?t let it win
Mum says she?ll come to my rescue
With things to do
Can always clean
I think she?s mean
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Thanks very much for your help.
Comment from Carolyn Dooley
Yes, this would be a great way to get moms attention. Especially to help clean up their scattered toys. However, your picture shows a little girl who looks depressed. The strange thing I see is a picture of me. It looks like a picture of me. I was about seven. I have never encountered someone in a picture looking like I did at that age. In fact, my mom had permed my hair and forgotten about it, and had to cut it off to look half way decent, lol Thank you for sharing.
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Yes, this would be a great way to get moms attention. Especially to help clean up their scattered toys. However, your picture shows a little girl who looks depressed. The strange thing I see is a picture of me. It looks like a picture of me. I was about seven. I have never encountered someone in a picture looking like I did at that age. In fact, my mom had permed my hair and forgotten about it, and had to cut it off to look half way decent, lol Thank you for sharing.
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Thanks very much for your review.
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You are welcome.
Comment from jessizero
This is a great minute poem. You followed the syllable count and rhyme scheme, and the topic is sweet and amusing. Thank you for sharing this here. Best wishes.
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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This is a great minute poem. You followed the syllable count and rhyme scheme, and the topic is sweet and amusing. Thank you for sharing this here. Best wishes.
Comment Written 12-May-2022
reply by the author on 13-May-2022
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Thanks for your review.
