Tanka Collection
Viewing comments for Chapter 45 "Golden Sunset "Romantic Tanka Poems
4 total reviews
Comment from AP Apgar
I like this poem- good presentation of a golden sunset- poem has a good flow and sets the environmental sensory scene with warmth and smell - hanging in the air- uncomplicated for reader- no word issues or need for extensive explanations in notes- gets me back to Haiku form- good job
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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I like this poem- good presentation of a golden sunset- poem has a good flow and sets the environmental sensory scene with warmth and smell - hanging in the air- uncomplicated for reader- no word issues or need for extensive explanations in notes- gets me back to Haiku form- good job
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Thank you very much, AP. I hope you are doing well.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from Debra White
Hello Gypsy :)
I really enjoyed reading your tanka. It awakens the senses of smell and touch. I love that hanging promise - echoing the lingering scent of the eucalyptus. Really nicely done :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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Hello Gypsy :)
I really enjoyed reading your tanka. It awakens the senses of smell and touch. I love that hanging promise - echoing the lingering scent of the eucalyptus. Really nicely done :)
Best wishes as always, Debra x
Comment Written 14-May-2022
reply by the author on 14-May-2022
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Thank you very much for the exceptional review. I am grateful that you took the time to read my poem.
Gypsy hugs
Comment from karenina
I'll have to remember the modern Tank rules. Seems I always default to the 5-7-5-7-7 "rule" that is, in truth, a suggestion rather than hard and fast! As long as you keep to 31 syllables or shorter in the five-line structure, you're good right? Well, YOU are good! I have a wee bit more difficulty! That's alright though ~ for your post above reminds me there is "the promise of tomorrow."
Very nice!
Karenina
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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I'll have to remember the modern Tank rules. Seems I always default to the 5-7-5-7-7 "rule" that is, in truth, a suggestion rather than hard and fast! As long as you keep to 31 syllables or shorter in the five-line structure, you're good right? Well, YOU are good! I have a wee bit more difficulty! That's alright though ~ for your post above reminds me there is "the promise of tomorrow."
Very nice!
Karenina
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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You can choose the classic 5/7/5/7/7 or 'the modern 31 syllables OR LESS' If you check the link I wrote in my author notes, you can see most tankas in English are not written in 5/7/5/7/7 form. But either one is okay. If you feel more comfortable with the classic is fine. The way I do it... is to read it out loud and separate lines in their natural breaks, keeping lines connected grammatically. If you have a pause, you can use a dash. I love to write tanka.
Thank you very much, Karenina. It's always a pleasure to read your reviews. You are very kind.
Gypsy hugs
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OH, I'm a huge "dash" person...
It worked for Emily D.
Never quite sure if a comma is grammatically correct, sad to say!
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I used commas in writing stories but dashes for Japanese poetry. I'm a dash fan too. LoL
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My mom always substituted dashes in her correspondence! Maybe it's genetic!
Comment from lyenochka
That's so cool! I like how you arouse the sense of smell. And eucalyptus leaves are an unavoidable scent. That the smell brings a hope of tomorrow as the sun sets - it's a beautiful thing!
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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That's so cool! I like how you arouse the sense of smell. And eucalyptus leaves are an unavoidable scent. That the smell brings a hope of tomorrow as the sun sets - it's a beautiful thing!
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 12-May-2022
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Yesterday I lost my reading glasses so I had to use my phone to write this poem. It's harder but doable.
Thank you very much, Helen. It's always a pleasure to read your reviews. You are very kind.
Gypsy hugs