Behind the closed curtains
Death and Hades5 total reviews
Comment from Erika Seshadri
This is a fantastic, vivid, and descriptive poem that packs so much into just five lines. Very impressive.
One suggestion, just for fun--you might play around with the line structure. For example:
Chained
and buried
hidden from human eyes
is Hades uprise
undermine the death
Just a suggestion to provide a little pow at the beginning with one word, then a change slightly so eyes and surprise can throw in a bit of rhyming flavor.
Also, don't know if you meant undermine instead of under-mind?
But, no matter what you do with it, or I like it a lot. Well done.
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This is a fantastic, vivid, and descriptive poem that packs so much into just five lines. Very impressive.
One suggestion, just for fun--you might play around with the line structure. For example:
Chained
and buried
hidden from human eyes
is Hades uprise
undermine the death
Just a suggestion to provide a little pow at the beginning with one word, then a change slightly so eyes and surprise can throw in a bit of rhyming flavor.
Also, don't know if you meant undermine instead of under-mind?
But, no matter what you do with it, or I like it a lot. Well done.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
Comment from jessizero
Congratulations on your milestone post! I liked your poem about death and Hades. I'm not sure I would have used the word "under-mind," but it's your poem and it works. I also liked your author's notes. Thank you for sharing this here.
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Congratulations on your milestone post! I liked your poem about death and Hades. I'm not sure I would have used the word "under-mind," but it's your poem and it works. I also liked your author's notes. Thank you for sharing this here.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
Comment from the13thpoet
Hello Chocoletdrop052 a good day to you, I hope this finds you well. I liked your 5 Line Poem contest entry, you executed it well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
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Hello Chocoletdrop052 a good day to you, I hope this finds you well. I liked your 5 Line Poem contest entry, you executed it well. Good job and good luck in the contest.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
Comment from Bill Schott
This five-line poem, Behind the Closed Curtains, has the proper formatting and evokes bot Death and Hades as conflicting characters in this battle over control of Hell. I feel the poetic format is too short for this subject and you might try this theme again with fewer restrictions on full sentences. Death versus Hades is a cool concept.
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This five-line poem, Behind the Closed Curtains, has the proper formatting and evokes bot Death and Hades as conflicting characters in this battle over control of Hell. I feel the poetic format is too short for this subject and you might try this theme again with fewer restrictions on full sentences. Death versus Hades is a cool concept.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
Comment from Sally Law
Welcome to FanStory, Chocolatedrop! Love your spiritual poem, illustrated in abstract art. Jesus Christ saves us from sin and from death, if only believe. Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for your writing endeavors. Sally :))
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Welcome to FanStory, Chocolatedrop! Love your spiritual poem, illustrated in abstract art. Jesus Christ saves us from sin and from death, if only believe. Sending you my best today as always, and best wishes for your writing endeavors. Sally :))
Comment Written 09-May-2022
