The Return
Viewing comments for Chapter 19 "The Return Chapter 19"Erotic Turmoil
40 total reviews
Comment from Begin Again
Whether in current times or in the past, devious people and even normal lives get twisted in the moments of others lives making changes that weren't expected. I love how the story leads me always wanting more.
Hugs, Carol
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
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Whether in current times or in the past, devious people and even normal lives get twisted in the moments of others lives making changes that weren't expected. I love how the story leads me always wanting more.
Hugs, Carol
Comment Written 29-May-2022
reply by the author on 29-May-2022
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You're right, Carol. It doesn't matter where you are in time, it always happens. Oh, Carol, you are so lovely, kind, amazing, and such a wonderful friend. Thank you so very, very much for another fabulous review and another sixth star. I love you lots, my friend. Thank you. :)) Sandra x
Comment from Rosemary Everson1
They are getting closer to the solution! It is sad to think that Mile's fiancé's untimely death has created this mystery story and, perhaps, will involve other people who we never thought would have been the culprit!
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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They are getting closer to the solution! It is sad to think that Mile's fiancé's untimely death has created this mystery story and, perhaps, will involve other people who we never thought would have been the culprit!
Comment Written 25-May-2022
reply by the author on 26-May-2022
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Aw, thank you for going back and catching up, Rosemary. I appreciate that a lot. The end will surprise everyone... I hope!! Warm hugs, my friend. :) Sandra xx
Comment from giraffmang
Hi Sandra,
and so the plot thickens once more with the final entries into this iinstalment.
'How come you always find something and I don't? - need closing speech marks here.
She was wearing a lovely red ball gown that complimented her hair. - this may need to be complemented.
Richard, I believe, is a nutter.
G
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Hi Sandra,
and so the plot thickens once more with the final entries into this iinstalment.
'How come you always find something and I don't? - need closing speech marks here.
She was wearing a lovely red ball gown that complimented her hair. - this may need to be complemented.
Richard, I believe, is a nutter.
G
Comment Written 15-May-2022
reply by the author on 15-May-2022
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Agghh!! That's the first time I've got complemented wrong, and you are the only one to point it out. I'll correct that spelling mistake straight away. Thank you, Gareth, you've been fabulous! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx
Comment from rspoet
Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter in the twisting mystery of how Margot and Bessie
will save Meg and Miles. The documents with differences in handwriting
should convince Miles, but Richard is a wild card and Gwendolyn seems a bit
unhinged, perhaps in over her head.
Of course having ghosts and time travelers on your side is quite helpful. :)
The tension is ratcheted up with each new episode.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Hello Sandra,
Another excellent chapter in the twisting mystery of how Margot and Bessie
will save Meg and Miles. The documents with differences in handwriting
should convince Miles, but Richard is a wild card and Gwendolyn seems a bit
unhinged, perhaps in over her head.
Of course having ghosts and time travelers on your side is quite helpful. :)
The tension is ratcheted up with each new episode.
Well done.
Best wishes.
Robert
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Hello, Robert,
I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, we'll soon get the answers to the questions everyone's been asking, mainly: Who wants Meg dead? Hmm, what do you think of that for the title???
Thank you for another lovely review and the golden star, my friend. We don't see you as much on here now. ☹️ Warm hugs, Sandra xxxx
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Who wants Meg dead? Could be a good title, but The Return is pretty good too..
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It is, isn't it. I'll have to have a good think. I'll put it to Pam, as well. 'The Return' does cover it more, though. Thanks, Robert! xxx
Comment from l.raven
Hi Sandra, my goodness...I think Gwendolyn has
a verdictive side to her...and just started a war...
she was lucky Richard only tumbled over the chair...
and will Mr.CrankyPants give into Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie...what will they do next???...and poor Miles...what will happen to his and Megs wedding day...now that Margot has become a third party...and I mean third party...
still comes down to what will happen when Nancy and Agatha
tell Miles what they found out...sooooo bring it on...and lets see what Richard will do...
very interesting my amazing friend...another awesome chapter you...and I love it...
well...I'm going to bed...I'm watching m girlfriends two month old granddaughter...5 days a week
for about 5 weeks...the mother has to get back to work...
but my neck isn't happy about it...it keeps pinching...
and my nerves are going nuts...ice does seem to help...
good thing Donatta will be off the school bus pretty soon...
she's a driver...and off for the summer...it's so hard for
kids to get started now...they can't afford much of anything now...they fill their cars with gas...and there goes their
paychecks...sigh...so if I can help them out...I'm going to...
so I'll be looking for when Miles gets home...I hope you will too...hint...sending a caravan of love coming your way...Linda xxoo ð???ð???ð?¥°ð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ª
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Hi Sandra, my goodness...I think Gwendolyn has
a verdictive side to her...and just started a war...
she was lucky Richard only tumbled over the chair...
and will Mr.CrankyPants give into Nancy Drew and Agatha Christie...what will they do next???...and poor Miles...what will happen to his and Megs wedding day...now that Margot has become a third party...and I mean third party...
still comes down to what will happen when Nancy and Agatha
tell Miles what they found out...sooooo bring it on...and lets see what Richard will do...
very interesting my amazing friend...another awesome chapter you...and I love it...
well...I'm going to bed...I'm watching m girlfriends two month old granddaughter...5 days a week
for about 5 weeks...the mother has to get back to work...
but my neck isn't happy about it...it keeps pinching...
and my nerves are going nuts...ice does seem to help...
good thing Donatta will be off the school bus pretty soon...
she's a driver...and off for the summer...it's so hard for
kids to get started now...they can't afford much of anything now...they fill their cars with gas...and there goes their
paychecks...sigh...so if I can help them out...I'm going to...
so I'll be looking for when Miles gets home...I hope you will too...hint...sending a caravan of love coming your way...Linda xxoo ð???ð???ð?¥°ð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ªð??ª
Comment Written 11-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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I've just opened my laptop and logged on to FS, when the postman came with a lovely card from you! Aww. Email you after replying to this lovely review. Gwendolyn has been verbally abused by both her father and her husband. Neither wanted her, and Richard only married her for her money and the promise of her father's estate after he died. Which happened sooner than expected with a little help from Gwendolyn. 😊 As for Miles' and Meg's wedding day, don't worry about that!! All in hand.
Thank you so much for the golden star, my dear friend, please take it easy. Going to email you now. Love you loads, sweet friend. 🥰❤️❤️xxx
I'm going to answer the rest in my email.
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Hi Sandra, I know she has had a rough life...
but she was lucky Richard...not being Mr.Nice
Guy...could have gotten physical...
I'm so glad you like it...now I'm out of here...love in bunches...xxoo
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Love you too!! xxxxx
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😊🌼😊💗🙃🌸🙏love xxoo
Comment from JoannaN
I like the dynamics between Margot and Bessie. I like the suicide letter in the nineteenth chapter, it is well written and believable. I wish you lots of luck and plenty of inspiration.
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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I like the dynamics between Margot and Bessie. I like the suicide letter in the nineteenth chapter, it is well written and believable. I wish you lots of luck and plenty of inspiration.
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Joanna, for this lovely review. I'm so pleased you thought the suicide note was believable. You've started my day with a smile!! Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra
Comment from robyn corum
Sandra,
Ouch! I feel like I've missed so much! But I do enjoy your stories a bunch and I'm sure I'll quickly catch up. There's no way I can go back. Man, I'm so far behind on EVERYONE!
But this was really interesting. Sounds like our lady detectives are getting close to getting the goods on the bad guys! YAY!
But I also have some notes for you, too - of course! hahaha (Miss me?)
1.) I leave you in the hope that compassion will prevail; and those who deliberately cheated me with lies and false promises, will make sure you will be properly taken care of.
--> I leave you in the hope that compassion will prevail and those who deliberately cheated me with lies and false promises will make sure you will be properly taken care of.
--> I don't think you need any punctuation in that sentence - but I DO think this guy was NUTS. hahaha The same people he said had CHEATED him with lies and false promises - now, he's expecting them to do the RIGHT THING?? Come on, dude. Really?
2.) Margot stared at the letter for a moment before looking up at Bessie.
--> I know you know this - but watch out for those directional words trying to creep in when they aren't needed. -up- here can be deleted
--> also, beginning here with this sentence (and then in the next three paragraphs) you are using the same formula to open each paragraph. You begin with an opening statement that TELLS something and then move into 'the rest of the story'. This formula is easy to spot so make sure you are mixing your sentence structure up more. (There may be a couple more of these later, too.)
3.) Margot's lips twitched, and tried to look suitably chastened.
--> and (she) tried...
--> (as she) tried...
4.) but the man (who) sat opposite her, she no longer knew. (since this is more narrative than dialogue, I think?)
5.) They locked;
--> Their gaze locked
6.) Now hard and cold they narrowed into insane, murderous slits.
--> Now hard and cold(,) they narrowed into insane, murderous slits.
--> but I think you can do better than that - something like:
--> Only minutes before, Richard's eyes had been warm and clear. Now they had narrowed into hard, cold, murderous slits glittering with insanity. (I'm sure you can say it better.)
--> But this whole paragraph (imo) has issues with the 'eyes'. Take a look and see what you think.
Thanks!
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Sandra,
Ouch! I feel like I've missed so much! But I do enjoy your stories a bunch and I'm sure I'll quickly catch up. There's no way I can go back. Man, I'm so far behind on EVERYONE!
But this was really interesting. Sounds like our lady detectives are getting close to getting the goods on the bad guys! YAY!
But I also have some notes for you, too - of course! hahaha (Miss me?)
1.) I leave you in the hope that compassion will prevail; and those who deliberately cheated me with lies and false promises, will make sure you will be properly taken care of.
--> I leave you in the hope that compassion will prevail and those who deliberately cheated me with lies and false promises will make sure you will be properly taken care of.
--> I don't think you need any punctuation in that sentence - but I DO think this guy was NUTS. hahaha The same people he said had CHEATED him with lies and false promises - now, he's expecting them to do the RIGHT THING?? Come on, dude. Really?
2.) Margot stared at the letter for a moment before looking up at Bessie.
--> I know you know this - but watch out for those directional words trying to creep in when they aren't needed. -up- here can be deleted
--> also, beginning here with this sentence (and then in the next three paragraphs) you are using the same formula to open each paragraph. You begin with an opening statement that TELLS something and then move into 'the rest of the story'. This formula is easy to spot so make sure you are mixing your sentence structure up more. (There may be a couple more of these later, too.)
3.) Margot's lips twitched, and tried to look suitably chastened.
--> and (she) tried...
--> (as she) tried...
4.) but the man (who) sat opposite her, she no longer knew. (since this is more narrative than dialogue, I think?)
5.) They locked;
--> Their gaze locked
6.) Now hard and cold they narrowed into insane, murderous slits.
--> Now hard and cold(,) they narrowed into insane, murderous slits.
--> but I think you can do better than that - something like:
--> Only minutes before, Richard's eyes had been warm and clear. Now they had narrowed into hard, cold, murderous slits glittering with insanity. (I'm sure you can say it better.)
--> But this whole paragraph (imo) has issues with the 'eyes'. Take a look and see what you think.
Thanks!
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thanks so much, Robyn, for taking all this time on my edits. I've made the corrections and changed the sentence with the 'eyes'. His never were warm, they've always hate each other. But I've added...
Only minutes before they?d been cool and indifferent. Now hard and cold, they narrowed into insane, murderous slits....
I didn't add the eyes, because it was obvious what the sentence meant. (and I was taking notice of the 'issue with eyes' Lol.)
Thanks, my friend. Have a great day. :)) Sandra xxxx
Comment from Annette R.
I do not see any errors, just a well told and gripping story with let's say interesting characters. I especially like Bessie a most creative part of the story.
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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I do not see any errors, just a well told and gripping story with let's say interesting characters. I especially like Bessie a most creative part of the story.
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 11-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Annette, I really appreciate your lovely review and your constant support. Have a wonderful day, my friend. :)) Sandra
Comment from estory
I thought it was a pretty good chapter. Margot and Bessie find the suicide note and so it seems they have the evidence to clear Lord Crawley and help Miles and Meg. The chapter really took off with that explosive scene at the end between Richard and Gwedolynn. I liked the detail in how he overturns the chair, his face creased with rage. estory
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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I thought it was a pretty good chapter. Margot and Bessie find the suicide note and so it seems they have the evidence to clear Lord Crawley and help Miles and Meg. The chapter really took off with that explosive scene at the end between Richard and Gwedolynn. I liked the detail in how he overturns the chair, his face creased with rage. estory
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thank you so much for another lovely review, estory, and your continued support. I really appreciate it. Warm hugs, Sandra xx
Comment from dmt1967
This is another great chapter and the way it builds up to the climatic end was really good as well. I really enjoyed this chapter a lot. Thank you for sharing and take care.
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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This is another great chapter and the way it builds up to the climatic end was really good as well. I really enjoyed this chapter a lot. Thank you for sharing and take care.
Comment Written 10-May-2022
reply by the author on 10-May-2022
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Thanks so much, Jackie, for another lovely review. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter. Warm hugs, my friend. :)) Sandra xx