Tucker at the Trocadero (Part-2)
A cantankerous Tucker verses an evil Farnsworth.32 total reviews
Comment from Maria Millsaps
I think you should consider writing a book. This chapter is rich and full of possibilities. The foundation is strong and mounting forces are already at play. The antagonist character comes across ruthless and capable of a lot of atrocities . Keep writing Ric, you are so gifted.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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I think you should consider writing a book. This chapter is rich and full of possibilities. The foundation is strong and mounting forces are already at play. The antagonist character comes across ruthless and capable of a lot of atrocities . Keep writing Ric, you are so gifted.
Comment Written 09-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Maria, for taking time to read my quirky detective spoof. I than you for your kind words, generous review, and encouragement. Much appreciated!
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Enjoyed it very much.
Comment from LJbutterfly
I'm hooked. This is stunning. You have crafted a story with lots of exciting, moving parts, and lots of possibilities. This is true entertainment, that satisfies the brain's need for occasional mental gymnastics in order to follow along and imagine. I'll see you in Part 3.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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I'm hooked. This is stunning. You have crafted a story with lots of exciting, moving parts, and lots of possibilities. This is true entertainment, that satisfies the brain's need for occasional mental gymnastics in order to follow along and imagine. I'll see you in Part 3.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Lorraine, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. This chapter is sort of like how my mind works, flitting around like a butterfly, landing only to catch a quick breath. LOL. It's always a pleasure to get the thoughts from those of you who I enjoy reading on a regular basis. Your encouragement keeps me scratching along. Much appreciated!
Comment from Carol Hillebrenner
I haven't read part one but think I've picked up well on what is going on. It's a good story and an interesting PI. Taking down his generous (to him) boss takes balls. I do have a question about ages. Tammy found him again when she was 28. That was 2 or so years earlier. He claims to be 37, but her mother was his girlfriend. Also, laughing and shaking your head with a concussion and stitches hurts like hell; been there done that. I look forward to the next chapter.
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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I haven't read part one but think I've picked up well on what is going on. It's a good story and an interesting PI. Taking down his generous (to him) boss takes balls. I do have a question about ages. Tammy found him again when she was 28. That was 2 or so years earlier. He claims to be 37, but her mother was his girlfriend. Also, laughing and shaking your head with a concussion and stitches hurts like hell; been there done that. I look forward to the next chapter.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thanks, Carol, for taking time out to read my spoof of quirky characters. He is not 37. Tammy is 37. He is nearly twice her age as is in one paragraph. He is an old man who still thinks of her as a young girl, which she is far from. So, you've had a concussion, and was still laughing and shaking your head? Just show your resilience, I'm guessing. LOL. I appreciate your generous review and kind words!
Comment from roof35
Well, I loved both part-1 and part-2. You certainly know how to turn a criminal phrase. I hope I am around to read additional chapters. You probably should make it that book you were thinking of writing. Then I can get it from Amazon. Really a grand job!
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Well, I loved both part-1 and part-2. You certainly know how to turn a criminal phrase. I hope I am around to read additional chapters. You probably should make it that book you were thinking of writing. Then I can get it from Amazon. Really a grand job!
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 09-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Judy, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Once you told me you and the husband were going to be out playing golf and you wouldn't be around, I hurried up to post something. So, this part is for you. LOL. And I'll try to post the next chapter before the coming weekend. Of course, I don't know whether that will be the ending chapter or not. I don't use a structured, outlined plot. I just write and let the words take me wherever. LOL. A seat of my pants sort of guy. It's always a pleasure to see your smiling face pop-up on my screen. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from lyenochka
Whew! There's a lot of action and personal stories to fill three Fanstory-length posts here. I don't know what to comment on first. My favorite part is the interactions between Tucker and TD and Tucker and Tammy. (Did TD refuse the offer and stayed outside with the bushes?) I'm more intrigued with what Tucker is uncovering about Farnsworth even though I'm not really into the detective drama stuff but you created the characters memorably!
Comments:
In your foreword: a luxurious office and suppling everything (supplying)
taken their tole on his wrecked body (toll)
"What's new, Tuck," Tammy asked? ("What's new, Tuck?" Tammy asked.)
staring a whole through Tuck. (hole)
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Whew! There's a lot of action and personal stories to fill three Fanstory-length posts here. I don't know what to comment on first. My favorite part is the interactions between Tucker and TD and Tucker and Tammy. (Did TD refuse the offer and stayed outside with the bushes?) I'm more intrigued with what Tucker is uncovering about Farnsworth even though I'm not really into the detective drama stuff but you created the characters memorably!
Comments:
In your foreword: a luxurious office and suppling everything (supplying)
taken their tole on his wrecked body (toll)
"What's new, Tuck," Tammy asked? ("What's new, Tuck?" Tammy asked.)
staring a whole through Tuck. (hole)
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thanks so much, Helen, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. I beat you to the corrections. I have already fixed all of those. You would think I might do that before I post it, but I get in a hurry to get it up, then I either catch them later or someone points them out. LOL. I'm going to start on the next chapter tonight in hopes of having it ready by next Friday or so. I can't thank you enough for the encourage review and taking time to offer your suggestions. I appreciate reading your post or getting your reviews every day! :-) Happy Mother's Day!
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Thanks, Ric! You probably corrected while I had your post waiting to be reviewed! Glad your muse is nudging you again!
Comment from Robert Zimmerman
Hey Ric.
I turn into a 'punkin' in a couple of hours, but I wanted to get this one in. The strength in your writing is the ability to turn phrases into images. It's very difficult for a lot of writers to do.
The dialogue between Tuck and Tammy not only moves the story along but it also reveals more about the relationships. You must spend time developing relationships or the reader doesn't care. Your character development draws the reader in, so he is interested in what happens to the characters.
I saw some of the reviews. Punctuation and grammar can be corrected through a cursory edit. Those can be corrected, but a poor storyline cannot. Writing a story people want to read is altogether different. Bodies hanging in the sky and being blown around by a gust of wind is hard not to visualize. It also adds more rising tension to the story.
Great job.
Robert
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Hey Ric.
I turn into a 'punkin' in a couple of hours, but I wanted to get this one in. The strength in your writing is the ability to turn phrases into images. It's very difficult for a lot of writers to do.
The dialogue between Tuck and Tammy not only moves the story along but it also reveals more about the relationships. You must spend time developing relationships or the reader doesn't care. Your character development draws the reader in, so he is interested in what happens to the characters.
I saw some of the reviews. Punctuation and grammar can be corrected through a cursory edit. Those can be corrected, but a poor storyline cannot. Writing a story people want to read is altogether different. Bodies hanging in the sky and being blown around by a gust of wind is hard not to visualize. It also adds more rising tension to the story.
Great job.
Robert
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Robert, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. I'm always anxiously waiting to read what you have to say. I truly should start editing and polishing before I post, just out of respect for those who take their time to read my stories. Most the mistakes are lazy and careless, because I write too fast and don't bother to do more than give it a quick read through before I post. And yes, I use a lot of fragments: most of which are used intentionally to give my narrator his own personality and character. But a good point was made by Susan, that when we use something too much, it loses it effectiveness. I leave out was, were, them, and they, etcetera, whenever it suits me, figuring that most will understanding what I'm trying to get across just as easily without them. LOL. I don't make excuses, it's just a character flaw, I guess. When I was offered a two book deal, which I've put on the back burner, I explained at a meeting with the agent and publisher that I just write like crazy and make tons of mistakes. They both just laughed and told me to never worry about it. And reassured me they have grammarians by the dozens to fix the little things. They explained it as being the way I think and my stories they want, and that their editors will fix the rest. LOL. Then, the health issues hit and it's all been put on hold until I decide about the deal in California by sometime in July. I'm no in any hurry to commit to anything. I'm eating well. Too well! I always appreciate you, Robert, and I'm sure going to miss your pep talks! Sorry for the novella. Ric
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Hey Ric.
You will do fine. I am beginning the search for a literary agent. The longest story I have ever written in 1800 words. My attention span will not allow me to do a novel. My book is an anthology of observations during the pandemic. It includes poetry and flash fiction as well as some creative non-fiction. Keep me posted on your success.
Your friend,
Robert
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Morning, Robert,
I'm looking forward to when your book is finished. I'll be one of your first sells, but you'll have to personalize it with a quick line and autograph.
Stay in touch, my friend!
Ric
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I am working on the "Chapbook" right now. It is 20-30 poems, paperback, and the publisher specializes in that format. It will be the first effort.
Zim
Comment from karenina
Hi Ric. I've got to say you've kept us waiting a bit for this chapter and I did go back and reread the first just to get the full flavor!
I see others have commented on grammar thingies, which is not my forte' and which I often assume are more a part of your character's quirks than anything.
You never fail to impress.
Your plot is interesting and multi-layered, and your character development reminds me that no one is one-dimensional.
Be it a book, several chapters of a novella, a short story -- any way you want to deliver it~ I'll be in line waiting for the next installment.
Thanks for gifting this to us on Mother's Day!
Wicked good ~ as the kids used to say. God knows what they say now!
Karenina
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Hi Ric. I've got to say you've kept us waiting a bit for this chapter and I did go back and reread the first just to get the full flavor!
I see others have commented on grammar thingies, which is not my forte' and which I often assume are more a part of your character's quirks than anything.
You never fail to impress.
Your plot is interesting and multi-layered, and your character development reminds me that no one is one-dimensional.
Be it a book, several chapters of a novella, a short story -- any way you want to deliver it~ I'll be in line waiting for the next installment.
Thanks for gifting this to us on Mother's Day!
Wicked good ~ as the kids used to say. God knows what they say now!
Karenina
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Karenina, my dear, you always say the nicest things, even though we both know I'm a lazy writer to makes more mistakes than a six-year-old without guidance in the kitchen. I really should take more pains with the grammar. All but the fragments, which to me give the narrator personality. But since a couple kind and talented ladies suggested that I tone them down a bit, I'm going to smooth out some of the ripples in a thank you for the time they spent trying to be helpful. LOL. Hope you and the family are feeling better and you're having a wonderful Mother's Day! I appreciate YOU!
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I kind of insert a comma where I feel one should go...
Or ellipses like these ...
Or dashes like these ---
I always loved the creative process but skipped class when I could when it came to the basics.
I regret that now.
That's a lie. (LOL)
I don't' regret it, I had more fun playing hooky!
BUT--I will leave it to those with better skills than I could ever have to correct those things.
I concentrate on the meat of the story.
THAT is awesome.
K
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Good, I think that's what everyone should do! :-)
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Heck yes!
Comment from Sandra Stoner-Mitchell
That was really good! What an a...h...e Daniel Farnsworth is. I do hope this ends with him decapitated in two areas. Bottom one first so he feels the pain!! Lol. I remembered the other part, and this followed on brilliantly. Well done, but don't leave it so long before posting the next part! :)) Sandra xx
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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That was really good! What an a...h...e Daniel Farnsworth is. I do hope this ends with him decapitated in two areas. Bottom one first so he feels the pain!! Lol. I remembered the other part, and this followed on brilliantly. Well done, but don't leave it so long before posting the next part! :)) Sandra xx
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Sandra, for your kind and generous review. Now, I'm headed back to take out a few of those intentionally placed fragments that I feel gives my narrator personality, but a couple others disagree. LOL. I'm just honored that a few of you exceptionally talented writers take a few minutes to read my silly spoof ramblings. LOL. I appreciate YOU!
Comment from Sally Law
Fabulous writing, dear Ric. I couldn't stop, wanting for more. The characters are brought to life under your pen. Undoubtedly a six! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Fabulous writing, dear Ric. I couldn't stop, wanting for more. The characters are brought to life under your pen. Undoubtedly a six! Sending you my best today as always,
Sal XOs
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, Sal, for your extra-special six-star review and kind words. Not everyone gets my quirky characters and fragmented out-of-control spoof ramblings, but when those of you who I read every day, and who know my shortcomings like what I post, it makes my week. I appreciate YOU!
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And I appreciate YOU! Be blessed! Sal :))
Comment from K.L. Rockquemore
I enjoyed reading this post. I think it's great that you are continuing the story here for all to read.
This is well written, well composed and presented. I appreciate the shorter paragraphs, for me this makes for a smoother read. Thanks for sharing your talent.
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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I enjoyed reading this post. I think it's great that you are continuing the story here for all to read.
This is well written, well composed and presented. I appreciate the shorter paragraphs, for me this makes for a smoother read. Thanks for sharing your talent.
Comment Written 08-May-2022
reply by the author on 08-May-2022
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Thank you so much, K.L. for taking time to read my story of quirky characters. It's always nice to see a nice review from someone I'm not used to seeing. I'll be looking to read your posts soon. I appreciate your generous review and kind words!
